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Famous Alf Poems by Famous Poets

These are examples of famous Alf poems written by some of the greatest and most-well-known modern and classical poets. PoetrySoup is a great educational poetry resource of famous alf poems. These examples illustrate what a famous alf poem looks like and its form, scheme, or style (where appropriate).

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by Service, Robert William
...y breath of it is ripe with cheer.
You're awful cold and dirty, and a-cursin' of your lot;
 You scoff the blushin' 'alf of it, so rich and rippin' 'ot;
It bucks you up like anythink, just seems to touch the spot:
 God bless the man that first discovered Tea!

Since I came out to fight in France, which ain't the other day,
 I think I've drunk enough to float a barge;
All kinds of fancy foreign dope, from caffy and doo lay,
 To rum they serves you out before a charge.
I...Read More

by Edgar, Marriott
...n to the junk shop
With some toys and a flashlamp, he'd got.
And the stick with the 'orses 'ead 'andle
He received half a crown for the lot.

He went off to the Post Office counter
Where National Savings was bought
But found that they cost fifteen shillings
Which meant he were twelve and six short.

The little lad wasn't down 'earted
He went off without wastin' words
And sold 'is dad's smoking companion
And 'is Mother's glass case of stuffed birds.

At the Pos...Read More

by Kipling, Rudyard goin' round a corner.
 Time! -- mark time, an' let the men be'ind us close.
Lord! the transport's full, an' 'alf our lot not on 'er --
 Cheer, O cheer! We're going off where no one knows.

March! The Devil's none so black as 'e is painted!
 Cheer! We'll 'ave some fun before we're put away.
'Alt, an' 'and 'er out -- a woman's gone and fainted!
 Cheer! Get on -- Gawd 'elp the married men to-day!

Hoi! Come up, you 'ungry beggars, to yer sorrow.
 ('Ear the...Read More

by Kipling, Rudyard
...You came after dark--you will leave before day,
 "You section, you pompom, you six' undred men!"

Down the tin street, 'alf awake an 'unfed,
'Ark to 'em blessin' the Gen'ral in bed!

Now by the church an' the outspan they wind--
Over the ridge an' it's all lef' be'ind
 For the section, etc.

Soon they will camp as the dawn's growin' grey,
Roll up for coffee an' sleep while they may--
 The section , etc.

Read their 'ome letters, their papers an' such,
For they'll move...Read More

by Edgar, Marriott
He rushed down the field full of pride 
He reckoned if nobody stopped him 
Then ‘appen he’d score for his side. 

‘Alf way down he bumped into his captain 
Who weren’t going to let him go by 
But Joe, like Horatio Nelson 
Put a fist to the Captain’s blind eye! 

On he went 'til the goal lay before him 
Then stopping to get himself set 
He steadied the ball, and then kicked it 
And landed it right in the net! 

The fog seemed to lift at that moment 
And all eyes were turn...Read More

by Service, Robert William
...lighty in the mawnin'.

I'm goin' 'ome to Blighty: can you wonder as I'm gay?
I've got a wound I wouldn't sell for 'alf a year o' pay;
A harm that's mashed to jelly in the nicest sort o' way,
 For it takes me 'ome to Blighty in the mawnin'.

'Ow everlastin' keen I was on gettin' to the front!
I'd ginger for a dozen, and I 'elped to bear the brunt;
But Cheese and Crust! I'm crazy, now I've done me little stunt,
 To sniff the air of Blighty in the mawnin'.

I've loo...Read More

by Edgar, Marriott
They 'adn't been fired all the summer, 
And touch-holes were bunged up wi' fluff. 

Joe's cannon, it weren't 'alf a corker, 
The cannon balls went three foot round. 
They wasn't no toy balloons either, 
They weighed close on sixty-five pound. 

Joe, selecting two of the largest,
Was going to load double for luck. 
When a hot shot came in thro' the porthole, 
And a gunpowder barrel got struck. 

By gum! there weren't 'alf an explosion,
The gun crew we...Read More

by Service, Robert William
And there 'e lay so quiet wiv no mansard to 'is 'ead,
 And I'm sick, and blamed if I can understand:
The pots of 'alf and 'alf we've 'ad, and ZIP! like that -- 'e's dead,
 Wiv the letter of 'is nipper in 'is 'and.

There's some as fights for freedom and there's some as fights for fun,
 But me, my lad, I fights for bleedin' 'ate.
You can blame the war and blast it, but I 'opes it won't be done
 Till I gets the bloomin' blood-price for me mate.
It'll take a bi...Read More

by Service, Robert William in.

"Anyway I'll tell you wot I'll do,
Bein' kind and seein' as it's you,
Knowin' 'ow it's cold, the feel
Of a 'alf a yard o' steel,
 I'll let yer 'ave a rifle ball instead;
Now, jist think yerself in luck. . . .
'Ere, ol' man! You keep 'em stuck,
 Them saucy dooks o' yours, above yer 'ead."

'Ow 'is mits shot up it made me smile!
'Ow 'e seemed to ponder for a while!
Then 'e says: "It seems a shyme,
Me, a man wot's known ter Fyme:
 Give me blocks o...Read More

by Edgar, Marriott
...t her fly.'
The cannon nigh jumped off her trunnions,
And up went the bastion, sky high.

The Duke, he weren't 'alf elated
He danced around trench full of glee.
And said, 'Sam, for this gallant action.
You can hot up your pudding for tea.'

Sam looked 'round to pick up his pudding
But it wasn't there, nowhere about.
In the place where he thought he had left it,
Lay the cannon ball he'd just tipped out.

Sam saw in a flash what 'ad happened:
By an u...Read More

by Service, Robert William

For I -- and oh, 'ow I shudder at the 'orror the word conveys!
'Ave been -- let me whisper it 'oarsely -- a gambler 'alf of me days;
A gambler, you 'ear -- a gambler. It makes me wishful to weep,
And yet 'ow it's true, my brethren! -- I'd rather gamble than sleep.

I've gambled the 'ole world over, from Monte Carlo to Maine;
From Dawson City to Dover, from San Francisco to Spain.
Cards! They 'ave been me ruin. They've taken me pride and me pelf,
And when I'...Read More

by Service, Robert William
...'ole, she kept the 'ome goin', she did:
She pinched and she scriped fer 'is scoolin', 'e was sich a fine 'andsome boy
('Alf Flanders seems packed on me panties) -- 'e's 'andsome no longer, pore kid!

This bit o' a board that I'm packin' and draggin' around in the mire,
I was tickled to death when I found it. Says I, "'Ere's a nice little glow."
I was chilled and wet through to the marrer, so I started to make me a fire;
And then I says: "No; 'ere, Goblimy, it'll do fo...Read More

by Kipling, Rudyard
'E'll take your 'ome address
 An' all you've time to say,
Or if 'e sees there's 'ope, 'e'll press
 Your art'ry 'alf the day --

For 'Im an' 'Er an' It
 (An' One from Three leaves Two),
For 'e knows you wanted to finish your bit,
 An' 'e knows 'oo's wantin' you.
Yes, 'Im an' 'Er an' It
 (Our 'only One in Three),
We're all of us anxious to finish our bit,
 An' we want to get 'ome to our tea!

Yes, It an' 'Er an' 'Im,
 Which often makes me think
The married man must ...Read More

by Service, Robert William
...rd came: Retreat!

Retreat! That was the 'ell of it. It fair upset our 'abits,
 A-runnin' from them blighters over 'alf the roads of France;
A-scurryin' before 'em like a lot of blurry rabbits,
 And knowin' we could smash 'em if we just 'ad 'alf a chance.
Retreat! That was the bitter bit, a-limpin' and a-blunderin';
 All day and night a-hoofin' it and sleepin' on our feet;
A-fightin' rear guard actions for a bit o' rest, and wonderin'
 If sugar beets or mangels was th...Read More

by Kipling, Rudyard
...he forces
 O' Missis Victorier's sons.
 (Poor beggars! Victorier's sons!)

Walk wide o' the Widow at Windsor,
 For 'alf o' Creation she owns:
We 'ave bought 'er the same with the sword an' the flame,
 An' we've salted it down with our bones.
 (Poor beggars! -- it's blue with our bones!)
Hands off o' the sons o' the Widow,
 Hands off o' the goods in 'er shop,
For the Kings must come down an' the Emperors frown
 When the Widow at Windsor says "Stop"!
 (Poor beggars! -- ...Read More

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