Home » Poems » Hiba Junaid » you won't read this but-

you won't read this but-

it's been a long night 
and I've been tracing your footsteps since the beginning
I am tired of the black it brings
of your shirt, the way you smelled as you hugged me goodbye
suddenly I have to wait years to see you again
to touch you again
and I have to hold back my tears
to comfort those already crying
because I don't have the courage myself
I don't want you to think I'm a crier
But I am
I just cried inside and you never knew

and you boarded a flight to your dreams 
while I crashed face first in a cloud of mist
I don't want you to think I'm blind
But I don't see an end to the tunnel of your leave

and you're working so hard
trying your best
I just wish I knew what that meant
staying up nights in a place so foreign
I don't want you to think I care
But I want to be a distraction to your exhausting days

and if I share this tonight
will you forgive me for feeling this way?
if I miss you too much
will you not think of me any less?
I don't want you to think I'm this sentimental
But I'm missing a part of me with you gone

and I want you to believe I'm brave
that I go into basements with no fear of the shadows
But I'm just a coward
deep down, maybe you know that too
I don't want you to think that I'm desperate
But I'm holding onto every glimpse through a pixelated screen

So come back please?
It's been far too long, the days don't pass fast enough
I'm still stuck in that night
Reliving your wistful smile
Please don't think I'm dying
Because I'm not
You're just breathing my air for me

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Susan Ashley

Date: 4/24/2025 7:58:00 AM

Dear Hiba, your potent, golden pen flows so smoothly with a soulful, soul-baring outpouring of emotions that clash and collide inside of the heart and mind of the speaker to tumble out, onto and down the page with poetic, heartfelt, heartbreaking finesse. Your sensory and emotional imagery exudes vulnerability, longing, helplessness so beautifully. Through your questions and answers you create a mood of hope and doubt and loss that is palpably poignant. Your last line slays the heart. Expressive and impressive poetry, my inspiring poet friend! Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Hiba Junaid
Date: 4/24/2025 10:11:00 AM

Susan darling, you cheer me on with your heart-warming comments. Thank you so much for your motivation. A comment like this one makes me want to write more, and as writing is food for the soul, this is a big thank you to you and everyone else who reads and comments. You make me feel alive. Be Blessed, always - Hiba.

Gary Radice

Date: 3/25/2025 4:03:00 AM

I feel the pain that drips from your words here Hiba. A questioning of oneself, a torment, a feeling of helplessness, ‘staying strong on the outside’ and apologies amid feelings of sadness and loss. A child pining for her father or maybe a lost love? Someone special. This is powerful stuff with a great use of questioning within the free verse. I’m just scratching my head as to why there aren’t any other comments complimenting this deeply engrossing write. Poetry eh? :) Cheers - Gary

Hiba Junaid
Date: 3/30/2025 11:30:00 PM

Thank you for the support and encouragement, pal <3

Gary Radice
Date: 3/25/2025 10:38:00 PM

I would say that it is a polished poem in this form Hiba and makes for great reading. Cheers - Gary

Hiba Junaid
Date: 3/25/2025 5:23:00 AM

Hey Gary, thank you for your lovely comment. This is one of those writings that is more diary entry than a polished poem, and I decided to keep it that way because it reinforced the helplessness, and longing of my inner child.