Email Poem

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Poem

it's been a long night 
and I've been tracing your footsteps since the beginning
I am tired of the black it brings
of your shirt, the way you smelled as you hugged me goodbye
suddenly I have to wait years to see you again
to touch you again
and I have to hold back my tears
to comfort those already crying
because I don't have the courage myself
I don't want you to think I'm a crier
But I am
I just cried inside and you never knew

and you boarded a flight to your dreams 
while I crashed face first in a cloud of mist
I don't want you to think I'm blind
But I don't see an end to the tunnel of your leave

and you're working so hard
trying your best
I just wish I knew what that meant
staying up nights in a place so foreign
I don't want you to think I care
But I want to be a distraction to your exhausting days

and if I share this tonight
will you forgive me for feeling this way?
if I miss you too much
will you not think of me any less?
I don't want you to think I'm this sentimental
But I'm missing a part of me with you gone

and I want you to believe I'm brave
that I go into basements with no fear of the shadows
But I'm just a coward
deep down, maybe you know that too
I don't want you to think that I'm desperate
But I'm holding onto every glimpse through a pixelated screen

So come back please?
It's been far too long, the days don't pass fast enough
I'm still stuck in that night
Reliving your wistful smile
Please don't think I'm dying
Because I'm not
You're just breathing my air for me

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