Notes About The Poem

June 1, 2025

~ Sixth Place ~
Premiere Contest: 2025 Poetry Marathon Mile 12
Sponsor: Mark Toney


 

Water

p u l s e s

      diastolic   
                  systolic   
                             tides     

           e  l  a  s   t   i  c

edge of ebb  where water and salt and memories mix
   steals the breath between my inhale and exhale 

          plovers chasing stretchy waves
  tight-fisted oysters hoarding pearls
     winds blowing our laughter   this way   that way
two kites flirtin’ and floatin’ in a sea of clouds

          tin foil tongues with spindrift speech
      breathes sea songs upon the shore's breast
   sea-fingers strum beach skin   glistening 
sea-drums thrum seashell ears  listening
        yet I wince as hungry riptides swallow
            my pebbles from the shore
     nothing long-lost  leaves nothing longed for

          I yearn for riptides to swallow my sorrow    
      instead of small joys and unadorned dreams   
  swallow me in ragged state instead of smooth  but
famished riptides can’t swallow my jagged stone whole

   cyan dancers grow untamed and white maned 
         their crimes  their confessions
  s w a s h  across expanse of dry seabed   surging
   I recall our cupid kites  tUmBLinG  in growing flow   

wet sands a mirror for west-sky-fire reflections 
     an ancient temple of quartz-grit-sages sifts waves
            confessors with silence-filled voices 

just beyond and amid the  t h r o b s  of tides
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025


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Date: 9/3/2025 7:45:00 AM
Congratulations Susan on your selection on superior merit. I never cease to be amazed how deftly you employ the English language to sculpt, mould and brushstroke your every piece with cinematic elegant language in the context of complex human challenges such as memory, sorrow and aspiration. Yours is a platinum cornucopia of imagery. Each line awash with illustrious inkling and incisive language Howard
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Susan Ashley
Date: 9/7/2025 10:26:00 AM
Dear Howard, I revel in the poetic beauty of your thoughts so beautifully expressed. I'm also humbled that your exquisite words are written in response to my poem. Thank you for sharing in the emotions and imageries of this poem with me. Your shining poetic spirit and kind congrats are ever appreciated. In gratitude, warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 9/2/2025 5:10:00 AM
Dear Susan, I watch your progress in the marathon with every lap. You are unusually talented and your poem is a sweet mix of memories and emotions so poetically liberated and beating in our hearts like the rhythmic rise of waves in the ocean. Love the image of 'two kites floating and flirting in a sea of clouds'. Your poem has taken my breath away. Congratulations sweet friend on your prestigious win.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 9/7/2025 10:01:00 AM
Dearest Valsa, the soulful beauty of your comments take my breath away! It's the highest honor to receive your perceptive commentaries, they are deep, rich, heartfelt and exquisite, just like your creative poetry that I truly adore. I'm so glad to know you loved the "kite" imagery. It's one of my favorite parts of the poem. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me and for your kind congrats. Your uplifting poetic presence shines, my sweet poet friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 8/31/2025 1:25:00 PM
Susan, your free verse very effectively uses the properties of wind and sea water, tide and riptide, to describe the pull between grief, memories, and knowing when to let go. Congratulations on your top 10 win on Mile 12 of my 2025 Poetry Marathon Contest. Keep your running shoes on, because Mile 13 has already started.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 9/7/2025 9:11:00 AM
Dear Mark, I'm thrilled to receive your wonderful comments and I'm honored by my poem's placement in your fast moving contest. Whew! Good thing I'm in decent cardio shape to try to keep pace lol! Thank you for your recognition and kind congrats. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 8/31/2025 11:13:00 AM
Blow me away much? I landed in a soft place, thank goodness, with all my remaining brain still intact. Only had to look up 2 words. To be honest, I don't think I could ever write at the level you do, I'm more than content and very pleased to appreciate the poetic space you fill in the world. No matter the topic, reading you is always a thrill. Congrats Poetry hugs ... CayCay
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Susan Ashley
Date: 9/7/2025 9:20:00 AM
Dearest CayCay, poetic luminary, you compose soulful poetry at a celestial level. I'm both humbled and honored by the generosity of your comments. My heart is glowing like the moon reflecting the brilliant sunshine of your heart. Thank you for the warmth and light you so beautifully bestow, my dear friend. Your kind congrats are cherished. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 8/31/2025 9:46:00 AM
Susan you can (as they say) write the phone book! There are so very many layers to this - from start to finish, I'm caught in your current!
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Susan Ashley
Date: 9/7/2025 9:13:00 AM
Dear Craig, thank you for your gracious visit and wonderful comments. Glad to have caught you in the currents created. I'm honored to share the podium with you. Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 7/25/2025 11:48:00 PM
This poem flows like a lazy tide—calm, dreamy, and full of quiet emotion. The scattered lines and ocean imagery give it a free, floating rhythm. Feels like memories and feelings gently washed ashore. Peaceful, reflective, and beautifully casual.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 7/30/2025 11:15:00 AM
Dear Rowena, I truly appreciate your gracious visit and wonderfully expressed thoughts. They are beautiful and a joy to receive. Thank you, my inspiring poet friend, for sharing in the emotions and imagery of this piece with me. Your shining poetic presence lends a golden glow to my poem. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/9/2025 9:01:00 PM
What a lovely seascape you've painted here, Susan. I think it's a strong contender (although I admit I don't really understand the requirements for that contest). Good luck
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/11/2025 10:23:00 AM
Dear Vanya, thank you for your gracious visit and beautiful thoughts about my poem. I think this form is challenging and I'm not sure if I achieved my goal in conforming to what Suzette wants/expects.. but we'll see how it shakes out. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/4/2025 11:02:00 AM
Your poetry always astound me. It's a level I cannot reach. Are you a painter? I can visualise the plovers flying, the oysters down in the sea, and the two kites flirting, and cyan dancers wildly. Such excellent imagery. Magnificent.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/8/2025 11:11:00 AM
Dear Victor, wonderful poet friend, I revel in your beautiful response to my poem. Yes, I used to paint (in oils and watercolors mostly) when I was younger. I went to college for fine arts. But now, I so much prefer to write poetry. For me, it's more gratifying. Thank you for sharing in the imageries and emotions of this poem with me. I'm humbled and I'm especially glad to know you enjoyed it! Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/3/2025 8:10:00 AM
I'm in awe of your poetry, dear poet, dear friend, but this form I'm not a fan of, yet you still made it beautiful...Frederic
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/8/2025 11:07:00 AM
Frederic, dear friend, dear poet, thank you for sharing in the imageries and emotions of this piece with me. Your words humble and inspire me. I think this form is challenging and I'm not sure if I achieved my goal in conforming to what Suzette wants/expects.. but we'll see. Nonetheless it was a wonderful learning experience :) Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/2/2025 7:46:00 AM
Such a magical write my dear poet friend Susan. You're an amazing poet my dear and I will fave this masterpiece of yours. I agree with Paige. A winner for sure. Thanks for sharing us your superb talent and for being one of my inspirations. God bless you always and your poetry. Hugs
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/8/2025 11:02:00 AM
Dear Len, your poetic presence is magical as your words lift my heart and soul to beyond the clouds. I am both humbled and honored by your thoughts. Thank you for sharing in the imageries and emotions of this piece with me. Warmest wishes and hugs, my sweet poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 6/1/2025 7:03:00 PM
A sure winner- I love how the opening and ending lines seem to compliment each other...hearts constricting and contracting... to the "piece" of the sea, your placement of words is excellent
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/8/2025 11:00:00 AM
Dear Paige, I revel in the uplifting power of your words. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me and for your confidence in this piece :) Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 6/1/2025 1:56:00 PM
Flying kites on the shore, watching them crash in the sea. Sounds like a blast. My first memory of the ocean (Maine) was swallowing seawater and puking all night. Sigh. Thankfully I've had better times since. Awesome take on the water theme Suze
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/6/2025 7:50:00 AM
Dear Tom, what an awful first memory of the ocean! I'm glad to know that you've had better experiences since then :) The ocean and shoreline are endlessly inspiring to me, fortunately I live on the Mass coast, so my muse is only mere moments away but the ocean is in my heart and soul as well. Thank you for your wonderful comments! Warmest wishes.. ~Suze
Date: 6/1/2025 1:40:00 PM
What a special write with fabulous imagery. Thanks for your visit.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/6/2025 7:45:00 AM
Dear Richard, thank you for your visit and kind words. I'm glad your found my imagery to be "fabulous"! Very inspiring, my poet friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/1/2025 11:30:00 AM
This is a breathtaking piece, both in structure and sensation. The visual spacing alone pulls me in, it mimics waves, breath, pulse, and drift. There's a physicality to the form that beautifully mirrors the content: the ebb and flow, the elasticity of memory and water, the tidal rhythm of the body and the sea.. I love how you tie in bodily language (“diastolic / systolic”) to ocean tides—it bridges the internal human world with the external elemental one. ..
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/6/2025 7:44:00 AM
Tom... haha! Gotta be a bit quicker, my friend :)
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/6/2025 7:43:00 AM
Dear Silent One, I'm truly inspired by your thoughtful response to my poem. So glad to know you enjoyed this piece. Thank you for sharing in the emotions and imageries of this poem with me. Your wonderful presence here is surely appreciated. Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
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Tom Woody
Date: 6/1/2025 1:53:00 PM
That's what I was gonna say. Dang!
Date: 6/1/2025 10:53:00 AM
What a creative/fun "Water" write you have here. Love It... "Good Luck" I wish you would write more. Have a fun day writing away..........
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/1/2025 10:59:00 AM
Dear Paula, it's wonderful to see you! Thank you for sharing in the imagery/emotion of this poem with me, and for your kind words. I wish I had the time to write more, my sweet friend, but family and work obligations take me away from my writing too often. Your gracious visit is truly appreciated. Warmest wishes, dear Paula.. ~Susan
Date: 6/1/2025 10:23:00 AM
Dear poetess, Ashley. Every time I read your poems, I am surprised at your abilities and expertise. In this poem, you explore the relationship between memory, nature, and the passage of time. You probed the fluidity of feelings and moods as well as the bond between human existence and the natural world. The ebb and flow of tides depicts life's rhythms, capturing moments of joy, nostalgia, and reflection. While memories fade, they are never truly lost; rather, they influence our present and future. Good luck with the contest, and this is a fave.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/1/2025 10:35:00 AM
Dear Lasaad, soulful poet, I revel in your wonderful and uplifting response to my poem. Your beautiful comments touch my heart and are savored with appreciation. Thank you for sharing in the imagery and emotion of this poem with me. I hope I was able to meet all the poetic goals for this contest. I am humbled and honored by your fave, thank you again, dear Lasaad. Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
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