THE STRANGER BESIDE ME book series 3
Copyright © Vickie Thayer | Year Posted 2016
_______________________________________________________
PROLOGUE: Sometimes we ignore the really obvious, like all those red flags we should have paid attention to while they were waving in our face. I ignored those red flags for loves sake (at least I thought it was for love). On a cold winter's day, while wrapped in a gown of white, a warm love melted my fragile heart and stole from me everything I thought I wanted. However, the warmth that melted my heart eventually blazed a fire that burned it cold and left it to beat in infinite darkness.
Preface: She always dreamed (as a little girl) of a fairy tale wedding. She also dreamed of love that would swaddle her for eternity. She soon would learn that dreams of little girls can be abandoned (whilst one is running into almost adulthood) and that a broken young girl (even after being demoralized by her parents) can mend. But what happens if she is used and broken all over again? I PURSUED A FAIRY TALE AND HAPPENED UPON A NIGHTMARE. (This is a hurttwor`x novel based on truths and or opinions)
1.
THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS
I was not allowed to date when I was a teenager living under my grandparent's discipline and roof. I never really understood that concept. The religion I was involved in accepted teenage marriages and you have to date someone before you marry them. So, my obedience to church and God made my teenage years a chimera.
One sunday afternoon while attending church, I saw him for the first time. He was cute in a sort of bad boy and nerdy way. My grandfather refused for me (at the tender age of fourteen) to have a relationship with him. I day dreamed about him as any young girl caught up in infatuation does. He was much older than me, nearly nineteen years old. As an inmature child I did not care about those numbers, but society had laid down laws pertaining to age of consent and this was not within societies legal frame of consent. I would see him at every church social and at the grocery store, he always flirted and talked to me, it made me feel older and special.
He had a personality that was outgoing and at times "too" sarcastic. He was always ready to try and get a laugh out of everyone. I saw this at that time as a person who was really nice, funny and outgoing. My grandfather did not trust him, Grandmother liked him, but she basically liked everyone. My mother had flirted with him (the few times she was around him) after we started dating. Mother believed every man wanted her, including him. I believe that this is where several of my sisters adopted the same mind set as my mother, concerning men. Because they also flirted with him.
Grandmother thought that because he went to our church that he had to be a really good guy, but there are really good serial killers, really good wife beaters, really good priests, really good thieves, really good story tellers, really good con artists and really good liars, to name just a few and then there was the genuine and true, really good guys.
At the time I did not think he fell under any of the afore mentioned categories. He was just a really nice guy in my smitten, childish mind and besides I already had my (first love) burned into my heart and etched forever into my thoughts, so my intentions were to just be friendly towards this outgoing and loud boy, who strived for constant attention, but he had other ideas
There was another boy I had already claimed, as my first love. He went to the same high school and church as me. He was only one year older than me and I really liked him. Before you love somebody you should like them and become friends with them first. To this day I have the fondest memories of him. He was handsome and the best dressed person I ever knew (he actually got noticed as the best dressed senior in our highschool yearbook). His eyes were as blue as the sky and he would always be in my heart, as first loves often are. We were really good friends and I really loved him. 
So there I was, a young girl of only fourteen, carrying a torch for my first true love and becoming infatuated towards another. Little did I know that eventually my torch would be smothered because I would make wrong choices (while still a child and barely a bride). My wrong choice would eventually be revealed with each emotionally abusive word and fist that landed on my flesh, while under the constant control of my church and my soon to be husband.
2.
GOING HOME
I finally got to live with my grandparent's permanently. I was fourteen years old and the elders from the kingdom hall had told my mother that she needed to let me live with my grandparents. All of this was on the cusp of an elders meeting between me, my mother,
Grandmother, my grandfather and another young girl, from our kingdom hall. All five of us were surrounded by a jury of jehovah's witness elders, that consisted of three men. The outcome of that meeting would determine my fate.( The incident was NEVER reported to the law enforcement authorities and I was told to tell "NO ONE" by the elders). There I was sitting in front of all these people, when I heard that I got to go to my grandparents, to live. My mother got up and walked out giving me the dirtiest look ever! I sighed so hard it sounded like my last breath had left my soul.
The man that my mother had claimed to love, to protect and stand up for had committed the ultimate sin against me. His sin reached another young girl from the kingdom hall and one of his own daughters and God knew. Yes, I was only thirteen years old when that monster molested me! He was a forty year old servant of the jehovah's witness religion. When I finally told my mother, she did absolutely nothing although she did threaten me with bodily harm if I were to tell anyone what her jehovah's wittness boyfriend had done to me. But enough about that, to see the full story pertaining to those events, you can follow my book (Vickie Hurtt's Shattered Silence) and (Vickie Hurtt Thayer-Jehovah Witnessed All My Suffering).
I remember the long drive to my grandparent's home in Bellbrook. The little house I had always felt safe in, the little house that held years of wonderful memories for me, the little house I would always remember as "home sweet home." I felt an odd bittersweet sickness in the pit of my stomach, as if I should be feeling guilty about something. Maybe it was leaving my siblings behind that made me feel this way. I felt sorry for them, especially for my sister Angela. She was my mother's second target for abuse and I often tried to protect her from my mother. When we became adults Angela sent me several letters and in those letters (which I still have) she thanked me for protecting her when we were children. At the age of thirteen I had already experienced so much from life: mostly hardships and deprevations of love.The love I never experienced from my parents had already taken a heavy toll on my emotions. I can honestly say I can't remember one time either one of them told me that they loved me. But, I was finally free of them and the abuse.
I would eventually allow myself to fall into a pseudo-love...where I based my self worth on the opinions of others. I really felt deep down inside I was so much better than all I had been accused of being by others...my mother said I would never amount to anything other than being an old fat house wife, my sibling sister (closest in age to me) continuously compared herself to me ( I knew deep down she was seriously jealous) it was probably the reason she often bragged about the money she and her criminal husband had, little did I know that years later her husband would be arrested and jailed and they would lose everything they had, at that time. I saw her riding around town in a jalopy after he was arrested, I often smirked to myself and felt bad for my karma thoughts (that she got what she deserved). Then there was my husband, who was always knocking me down, both physically and emotionally.
Ah...pseudo love. A bad thing I would need to overcome.
3. DATING AND BRUISED AT FIFTEEN
TO BE CONTINUED..,
Comments