The Reverend Called It Blackmail
The Reverend Called It Blackmail
ANOTHER TRUE STORY FROM DAYS AT FERGUSON PONTIAC-GMC
Late January, 1977. Almost a year had passed since the U.S. and the rest of the world had been in the throes of the “gas crunch.” Almost as much time had passed since the good Reverend Osgood Conklin had brought his full size 1975 Pontiac Catalina to Ferguson Pontiac-GMC in 1976 with intentions of down-sizing to accommodate the situation. He was, as he explained it, minister to six churches; but one was his “home congregation”. The other congregations were ministered to by his “lay ministers.” Oh, he visited and “counseled” members and/or lay ministers of any of the six at their request; so he did drive a lot. His Catalina, regardless of its impeccable condition, reflected over 39,000 miles in just 17 months, technically a “high mileage” trade-in…..and it was green. Green is not a particularly popular resale color. He was “upside down,” meaning it was currently not worth what he owed on the vehicle. The used car manager, Mickey Landers, noted the Reverend was Tommy’s customer and that the car looked like it had been detailed already, so offered all he could; but people all over the country were trying to divest themselves of such “gas guzzlers”. There was no real market for such a car right then. Those we had in stock were getting old, and moved slow at the auctions too. We were stuck with some of them until the “crunch” was over.
This country minister had been Tommy Ferguson’s customer before Tommy bought the dealership, but was not the minister at Tommy’s church. I did not want to be responsible for blowing the deal, so I told Tommy what the Reverend was going to do. He agreed that it was poor timing and that I should talk him out of it and send him home. I did so successfully. I explained the market perspective on his car and demonstrated how much gas he could buy with the difference in his car payments, the tax & tag money, and increased insurance cost. I assured him it would be over soon. I kept his customer card in my file box. He was mine now….a sure sale in the future….and maybe referrals. After all, he had congregation$.
But the “crunch” is over now. Things seem better. The mood is better. The good Reverend Osgood Conklin has decided that he deserves a new car. In fact, he believes he deserves to be driving the absolute flagship of Pontiac luxury, an ultimately loaded 1977 Bonneville Brougham in Laredo Bronze with camel leather interior and bronze tinted moon roof. This particular car had been ordered as a demonstrator for Tommy’s wife, Martha; but a sale is a sale. He was told that Tommy was with a customer; so, wanting immediate attention, he came directly to me. I “glad handed” him and listened to his deal. I grabbed an appraisal card and his keys as I told him to enjoy a cup of coffee or hot chocolate. I found Mickey Landers and gave him the keys. He said, “Let’s go to Wendy’s and get some burgers while we’re appraising this car.” Off we went, east on Main St. He commented how clean the car was, that it looked like it had already been detailed. Then he said, “…and only 29,000 miles too. We’ll sell it.” Something clicked. When we got back, I quickly looked into my file box. I kept all appraisals and odometer statements; and there it was, “39812” in the miles blank. He had signed it. So, a year later, he had driven it another 20K miles, then rolled back the first digit of the odometer! If he didn’t do it personally, he had it done! I excused myself and again asked that he help himself to a refill.
I went to the owner of the dealership, Tommy Ferguson. He was appalled….maybe even mad. Tommy often had a cigar in his mouth, but rarely lit one. If, however, he was irritated, he would gnaw on the cigar. Of late, television programs had been focusing on dealers as the culprits in the mileage rollback issue. Bad jokes were made and reputations sullied. Tommy did not like that. He was fairly even tempered, but now and then... He thought for a minute as he gnawed voraciously and said, “Buzz, I do not want to deal with this guy. Can you handle this? Do you know what to do?” “Yes, Sir. I know exactly what to do.”
Returning to my office, I devised my plan. I completed the “deal sheet,” the purchase order. I listed things we had already added to the car: undercoating, perma-coat for the paint, an interior leather conditioning treatment, a better-than-factory body side molding, and pin striping. I doubled the price of everything. I gathered my courage, turned to him and said, “Sir, we believe you can sell your car to someone, perhaps a congregation member, for quite a bit more than we can allow you in trade.” He seemed to agree after a moment or two of thought. “That said, if you will sign this purchase order where indicated, I’ll take you to our finance manager so you can arrange payment.” His response was quick. “I’m not paying’ that much for this car!” I thought to myself, “Suck’em up, Buzz. It’s time to win the game.”
I said, “Sir, without a trade-in, this is the price of our car.” “I’m a good customer, one of Tommy’s personal customers. I’m not going to pay that much for this car.” I offered a wry smile and responded with the pressure. “Sir, what I have here are copies of two odometer statements, both on file, both signed and dated by you. You’ll note the discrepancy in the mileage. Look closely now. No, there’s no mistake. Given that discrepancy, you may retain your Catalina and sign where indicated on the purchase order OR you may do 6 months in jail and/or pay $10,000 in fines, whichever the court decides.” I turned the paper toward him again and laid the pen gently on it.
When Lynn Robertson led our sales training sessions, he always said, "The first to break the silence is the loser." After a bit, the Reverend's eyes dropped. He knew. He grabbed the pen, looked back up at me and said, “You son of a f****n’ b**ch. This is f****n’ blackmail.” I replied, “Oh, my. Mind your language, Reverend. Let’s try to think of it as expediting the consequences of your very poor judgment…perhaps even Heavenly retribution.” He looked at my wry smile. What could he say? He signed the purchase order, grabbed it and his Catalina keys and walked straight to Tommy’s office. He stood at the closed door for a moment or two, then thought better of a confrontation. He bitterly paid for his new Bonneville Brougham and drove it away. He and his wife came late that evening and, without a word, stole into the night with their Catalina. Sadly, one of his congregation told one of our sales people that the Reverend’s Catalina was destroyed just three weeks later by an early, somewhat unseasonal, tornado passing through Deer Creek while the Reverend visited one of his congregations. Sadder yet…it was uninsured. Justice prevails.
Yes, I guess it was blackmail. Jimmy Walker, our Finance & Insurance man, told me that the good Reverend took 66% of tithes from each of the 6 congregations’ as his personal income, leaving whatever remained for the lay ministers – the real ministers - to operate their churches. Sounded like a scam to me, so I’ve never felt too guilty. Tommy told me later that he would rather have sent the good Reverend to jail, and Tommy had the “pull” to do that; but any sort of publicity was most unwanted by the National and the Oklahoma Auto Dealer’s Associations, locally and nationwide.
I was rewarded with the Reverend's full sticker plus deal and a very nice “house deal” for my good work. I also got to pick my next demonstrator, a new gold ’77 Pontiac Trans Am, loaded with all the goodies, including honeycomb mags and T-tops. What a ride! What a ride.
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