The Happy Couple

Jerome Alverado and Erma Krueger were worst enemies since the moment they met in first grade. Erma was vegetarian, loud, and loved fart jokes, while Jerome was very wealthy, quiet around all girls and simply strange around boys. Over the years they were forced to deal with each other. Their classmates made fun of them. They said they were just acting and they were actually a couple. Every time they said that Erma would gag and Jerome would go hide in the bathroom. The two of them vowed to never fall in love.
For a while, it seemed as if they would be able to keep that promise. They parted ways and went to separate colleges. They never saw each other in their daily lives. They almost seemed to forget about each other. Almost. What Jerome and Erma didn't know was that Erma's parents had met Jerome's and they were brewing a plan. Erma's mother had always been after money and she thought and arranged marriage would be the perfect way to get that. As soon as the two were 25 years old, which would be at the same time due to them both being born in 1992, they would be married. Erma and Jerome didn't know about this until their wedding day. Erma refused to put on her wedding dress and she was married in a t-shirt and sweat pants. Jerome wouldn't look into her eyes the whole ceremony. Their vows were short and went something like this: " I promise I'll never murder you and take your money." They were married on December 6, 2017. And now, in 2018, the two "lovebirds" were celebrating their first anniversary in Jerome's mansion.
Erma took the simmering steak off the grill and put it on a gold-lined china plate for her husband and put a tofu dog on her plate. Erma was still very petite as Jerome had a growth spurt in 7th grade.
Erma grabbed a bottle of ketchup from the fridge and walked over to the table and sat down.
" I have something to confess," started Jerome. Erma began to laugh because her husband never confessed anything, and choked on her tofu dog. The stubborn piece of soy stuck in her throat. She started coughing and fell off her chair as the air began to leave her lungs. Her eyes filled with tears. She tried to breathe through her nose but it was filled with snot. Jerome rushed over to her side.
" What's wrong?" he asked.
" It's the stupid tofu dog, idiot!" Erma tried to say but all that came out was a rasp.
" I'll get you some water." he said and ran to the sink.
"What... did you...want to...confess?" Erma croaked lifting her head off the marble floor to look at him. Jerome turned around as Erma's eyes grew glassy and her head hit the floor. Jerome hurried back to where she lay spilling the cup of water along the way.
" No! No! Now she'll never know!" He poured what was left of the water into her mouth. Nothing happened. Jerome sobbed. He leaned down and whispered into Erma's ear " It was my idea. The wedding, the mansion, everything! It was all my idea!" He broke into fits of crying again. He knew that no matter what he said it wouldn't make her come back. He'd missed the chance to tell his wife the three words he'd always wanted to say. " I love you."

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