Straight From The Hackathon-Pumping Up America
The world felt changed. The fare on TV looked the same but wasn’t. Grocery shelves were well-stocked and colorful as ever, but with what exactly, it wasn’t as clear. Reports from Greenland foretold the future, as per usual, but, whereas before I ignored them, today I was unmoored. A friend, a former D-1 scholarship athlete, confided that he had stopped exercising, while my mother, who is sixty-three, enrolled in not one but three Pilates classes. The elevator opened and I stepped from pondering this liminal haze into face-to-face confrontation with the chairman of the board.
There he was in a glow of light, an innocent little fellow whose verbiage sounded intelligent and the product placed cereal box only added to his creative genius. My group took a seat in the visiting chairs and we opened our notebooks trying to look like court reporter’s listening to each word. “You have been members of my kingdom for all this time,” the Chairman of the Board proclaimed through each snack, crackle and pop, “but where were you when I was a pauper writing poetry about a pirate, a pawn, and a king? I ask you, where were you?”
We shuddered to answer wincing at the shift in plates feeling shaken wondering ‘where in the earth things were going’ during these stirring times. “We need to hire people from the past!” The Chairman of the Board pounded a fist, “We need to make advertisement talent casting more senior friendly and not entry level, those youngsters do not know anything, all they do is google around.”
In unison our go along with intellect gave an affirmative head nod, and we were ready to go back to the widget warm room prepared to write creative jingles and video jangles that would only have mature individuals in the spotlight. Getting a sense that the Chairman of the Board was getting ready to retire, “I just wanted you all to know, I did all this my way, that it's my life, and furthermore I am not Uncle Floyd! I am Uncle Lloyd!”
A chill ran through our bones as our group retreated to the lifts hoping ideas would flow quickly thinking we had the next Cabbage Patch Rubik's Cube on our hands. When I returned to my desk inside the cubicle fortress across from me the young Samantha Lane who just started a few weeks ago was already planning a sales strategy that would sell a special screw designed for miniature drivers. While Wendy Barnes was snapping a textbook published invention thesis wanting to stop for the day.
These were kids, “what was I going to tell them that their time here was finished, mission completed go move on to something else I do not know, that is their choice their young,” pondering the plight this thought came to me ‘think up of a campaign that would bring both the youthful look together with a mature message’. “Yes,” I exclaimed thinking the shout would be heard all over the office but in reality, the only sound was from Samantha requesting, “Paul, can I talk to you about the screw mini driver device.”
Taking mass transit my fingers walked over the lap top keyboard that used convenient relaxed knees for a prop. Surfing the net digesting flashing information, I frantically searched addressing the interesting age-old question, “Innocence or brains?” Suddenly, like it was sent from Dubya Dubya Dubya heaven an original pitch appeared, “Pumping Up America.”
Energy electrified my body arriving home as I reached the kitchen table centrally positioned to the one bedroom, one kitchen, one everything living arrangement. But all I needed right now was one match to inflame the situation. “That is right I will call my Pilates Mom over here and my over exercised washed up athletic dear friend over there to star in a plea called ‘Pumping Up America.’’”
Despite the late hour my cell phone was prepared with enough bars to text both parties about the great vision that would make the Chairman of The Board pleased. Moments later after a sauna, massage and tanning bed experience Mom replied with a positive message and wanted to know when to be at the set.” I calmly stated that I needed to pass it off to Uncle Lloyd the Chairman of The Board and she texted back one word, “Whenever,” then with a few seconds later there was “you need me just let me know.”
Hour was closing in on midnight when the next call was made and Tiger Tank the legendary boxing recruit at the local state school was downing brew. “I am downing brew,” the heavy weight answered before I asked. “Working the six pack,” followed by, “That is right. What can I do for you?” It was then I explained “Pumping Up America”.
After both agreed I spent the next couple of hours scribbling scenes on a legal pad. And then as the Tomorrow Show changed to the Today first hour an incredible presentation was in front of me. Within seconds I put the paragraph into the Microsoft word program, and this is what I read back using my bleary observation skills:
“The manager handed me a bill for $5,993.27, the cost of a new battery for my ancient Tesla. I looked it over, casually held my card over the scanner, and turned to leave. That’s when the woman coughed, and I hesitated. Without turning and businesslike, I took a few more steps and asked if she thought she had a cold. When she didn’t immediately reply, I stopped and looked from the corner of my eyes. Spinning around, I was surprised to discover I was alone. Inspection of the premises, at first slow but soon frantic, revealed nothing and no one. And my car was gone too."
Finding the Chairman of the Board better known as ‘Uncle Lloyd’s’ email I added one more line to the public service announcement, “It is time to start Pumping Up America.” Reviewing the stick figures representing his Mother working out things cooking dinner and Tiger Tank fueling the American way the decision was made to notify the judge by pressing the ‘send’ button.
Inside his office Uncle Lloyd was humming and singing, “I Did It My Way” when a voice came from his computer, “You’ve Got Mail.” Looking up he remembered the VHS movie would make a good dollar rental DVD for the weekend. Arriving at the computer inbox he saw my cyberspace correspondence and screamed, “beautiful, great, love it!”3
Having a legal state issued plate that read “Georgia On My Mind” Mother arrived on the set and asked production who she could go to get a closeup. When the staffer pointed, I heard the scream, “honey it is good to see you.”
Dressed professionally for a shoot I handed mum the dialogue directions, “the idea is we need to put gas in our cars, this energy saving hybrid method is not going to work,” I told her as she listened intently. “Well, if you added a little spark there could be a nice explosive visual, if you know what I mean.”
“Yes, I know what you mean Mom but that was a fantasy back in your day and we need to have America pumping up, that is the idea of the commercial,” I explained very carefully while Mum read through the written pages, “Who is he?” I looked up and there was the shirtless physique straight off the lifeguard stand day worker, "That Mum is Tiger Tank,” I told her while she answered, “If I pull that tail my tank would be full and motoring happy for a week,” she remarked handing me back the script.
“What do you want me to do?” Tiger Tank asked making me respond, “Just hold the American flag with the gas pump and then the message ‘Pump Up America’ will shine brightly in the fireworks while the flag waves.”
After the eighteen-hour shoot, I took what was in the can back to the editing room. For the rest of the night the thirty second spot played back and forth. Then repeated it forward to back, inserting here deleting there until a final project had a finished product.
Whistling while he entered his office Uncle Lloyd put down the java cup and dispensed the donut remains on the floor. “Time to go to my emails,” and there it was the link for the “Pumping Up America” submission. Not being able to take his blue eyes off the dollar sign Uncle Lloyd picked up the phone to call upstairs, “I got a winner,” he explained while the receiver concerned with the investors crunching numbers in green land answered in the form of a question, “how do you know?” Which made the Chairman of the Board fill fossil lies, “Well if I can make it here, I can make it anywhere.”
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