Soul's Quest

Chapter One

"We have all been here before."
"Have you ever been happy, Brandon?"
"Happy? Happiness is a state of mind, just like anger, hate, or even depression. I know I'll feel them all again when the time comes. There was a time when I got through each day simply because I woke up. Nothing ever competed with sleep, no matter what my dreams were. Now, I constantly find myself looking back, filled with regret."
"We all have regrets, Brandon."
"I know we do. Most regrets fade, but mine? I see them every time I look in the mirror. These feelings—I'm waiting for them to pass, but each day gets harder to bear. Life shouldn't be like this. Unfortunately, I can't tell anyone what I'm going through. I want to be alone, to avoid the eyes of others, but by doing so, I push away those who want to care. The only way out is to disappear and accept my fate when the time comes. No one ever truly knows what others go through." Brandon shakes his head and takes a deep breath. "They assume, and they are far from the truth."
"You're a lost soul, Brandon."
"I am riddled with bad luck. I know this now. Don't ever pity me. This is all my own doing. Don't worry. When the time comes to face the world, I fit in perfectly, and I never outstay my welcome."
"You are riddled with bad luck? Why?"
"My good luck is just starting to catch up, but my life so far has been driven by bad luck and stupidity. If there is a higher power watching over us, he has forgotten me, and I don't blame him."
"Yes, but you say there's another truth."
"There is, but that truth has already cost me everything. That's why I'm here now, isn't it?"
"Brandon, we are trying to help you, trying to make you see that what you say borders on insanity."
"Have you ever thought about the word 'insane'? Who has the right to label someone or something as insane? We don't. You honestly don't see any truth in what I've been shouting from afar?"
"Brandon, it's not about what you've said. People can believe in anything their heart desires. It's about the effect that belief has on a person. You are here because you were hurting the people around you, and you started hurting yourself."
Brandon looks straight into the Warden's eyes. "I never once bled for this, never desired pain. I may not understand everything about this world, but I know I will only become stronger if I deal with it."
"I never said bleed. I mean your visions, your daydreams, the messages you think are important to others. In reality, they are just your messages to no one. We are trying to show you that."
"Have you ever questioned reality yourself?"
"Of course, I have. We all do. But we will never know for sure, so accept that, Brandon, and move on. Carry on with this life's journey. If there's something you desire, then spend your time reaching it."
Brandon turns away, nodding his head. "I couldn't agree with you more. I want what you want. I see the world as it should be seen. I believe in something. I see it as the truth, and in many ways, it's a bright ending to know. I just wish I had known it earlier; maybe my life would have been better. I just have to put up with it. I hope the choices I make in this life will help me be blessed in the next."
"Brandon, your words and poems have been liked by many people here. You just need to get better, and if we see change, you'll be let out. Piece of advice, Brandon: write something colorful. Lie if you have to. You are smart enough to get out of here if you give it some thought. Snap out of this acting for a while, and when you're out, write your beliefs in bold letters. Maybe you could start your own religion; it's been done before. All we need to see is progress, not your anger."
"Reality isn't religion. Take me back, Warden. We are done here."

Pen to paper, Brandon waits for his thoughts to flow as someone peeps into his room.
"Brandon, what are you up to?"
"Not a lot, why do you ask?"
"You seem distant. I haven't heard from you for some time. Locked away in your room—it can't be good for you to be alone all the time. Get out and go somewhere. Men your age should be living it up." "I'm okay, just writing. It puts my mind at ease. I'm really okay." She walks away, and he finally writes.

Did you come to me? Was I awake, or was it a dream? If I take this path I have chosen, will it finally lead me towards you?

The doorbell rings, and Brandon listens, hoping it's not for him. "Brandon, Kate is here!""Yes, I'm coming." He mutters softly, "Coming!" he shouts as he walks out of his bedroom and heads downstairs. "You okay, babe?" "Yes, are you?"Just before Brandon can respond, his housemate interrupts, "You need to sort your boyfriend out, Kate. Sitting up there all the time, sleeping during the day, it's not natural, you know." "Yes, Jane, we know," Brandon replies politely. "Come on, babe, let's go up to my dungeon then. Be well, Jane."They all smile as Brandon and Kate walk up the stairs. "I don't see why she cares so much. It's not like you're a messy housemate or anything. You always pay the rent on time." "Kate, like everyone, they only notice the things they disagree with.""Oh no, have I turned up at the wrong time?" They smile at each other. "If she didn't watch all those mindless television shows, I might venture downstairs more often. No offense to her." "Can't have that. I might start getting jealous," Kate says with a smile. "Oh, babe, you have nothing to worry about. You have me hooked."

The time ticks past midnight. Brandon's eyes are still wide open. He leans over and kisses Kate's forehead, then slowly gets out of bed. He wanders downstairs in the low light of the street lamps shining through the blinds. Brandon opens his front door and sits on the front step, looking at the stars. He starts sharing his thoughts with the heavens above.

His phone receives a text: "What you up to? Want to come round and chill? Peace. Sam."Brandon replies: "Can't, man. Kate is around, but we'll catch up tomorrow. Must talk to you anyways. Need your wisdom! Peace. B."

He moves his eyes back upwards and begins to recite one of his poems softly.

"Brandon?" "Babe, get back to bed. I'm okay." "What are you doing out here? It's freezing. I woke up, and you weren't there." "It's all good. Just looking at the stars. Go back to bed. You'll wake up next time, and I will be there. I promise."

Darkness falls with an indistinctive sound. The darkness uncovers a low light coming from the wall lamps down a long corridor. A flash of light, and there's writing across the walls: "YOU ARE GETTING CLOSER. SOON YOU WILL REALIZE THE TRUTH."

"What?" Brandon shouts. Kate turns over. "Babe, wake up. You were dreaming." "Dreaming? Babe, I'm wide awake." "Well, what are you doing then?" Katie responds tentatively as Brandon shakes his head, his eyes wide open. "Kate, I'm going to drive you home. This is not working tonight. I'm not with it, baby. I am sorry." "Oh, forget it. Maybe Jane was right. You need to sort your life pattern out, Brandon. You're falling apart. You need to be living a normal life. Working nights is bad for you. I am slowly getting fed up with defending you, Brandon." "Defending me? From what?" "Your mates. They reckon you've changed for the worse." "Yes, because they would know?" Brandon replies sarcastically. "Those so-called mates never even knew what I changed from! They complain that I never get in contact when they know exactly where I am, what I do, and when they can get hold of me. Anyway, that's the last thing I want to think about right now. Babe, all I need from you is your strength and your love. I need you to understand and agree when I'm in that time of agreement." Kate responds with a confused look, "Ok... Well, I haven't got a clue what you just said, but whatever. Don't worry about driving me home; I'm awake enough now. Call me when you can tomorrow." Kate kisses Brandon's forehead and leaves. The sun rises as Brandon's eyes start to close; the front door slams as Jane leaves for work. His phone receives a message: "Morning babe! Off to work I go. Feel bad for last night. I will always be there for you. Have a good sleep and a good night at work. Love you, Kate x." His eyes finally shut.

Rain trickles through the broken ceiling of an abandoned building; Brandon finds himself tied to a chair in a deserted old hotel lobby. "What? Hey! Anyone there? What's going on? Why am I tied up, hey!" A dark stranger comes into view, "Hey, you! You there! Who are you? Untie me now!" The dark stranger responds slowly, "Oh, Mr. Williams, you have returned." Brandon, confused, reacts quickly. "Williams? Who the hell is that?" "We have your room ready, sir, and your wakeup call has been put through." The dark stranger calmly voices. "Your room, Mr. Williams, is 24, and the wakeup call is for 21 hundred hours." The dark stranger slowly fades from view, and Brandon finds himself walking down a long corridor, passing many hotel rooms until he approaches room 24. Brandon strikes his alarm clock and takes a deep breath, muttering, "Christ." His eyes slowly open, he gets out of bed, and heads towards the shower, his mind still fixated on his dream. As the water splashes his face, shock creeps in; he jumps out and runs to his alarm clock. His alarm was set for 21:00. "Now, that is strange." He chuckles.

Just before he leaves for work, Jane promptly asks, "Where was Kate this morning? I didn't see her leave." "I was keeping her up, so I thought it was best if she went home." Jane laughs. "Have a good night, Jane," Brandon replies before walking out the front door.

"If you live a busy life or not, there are moments where you want to stop. A breath of fresh air, a moment of silence. The relaxation of body and soul. A busy life or not, I'm wishing it could all stop. It's not lack of motivation, it's not about not knowing my potential, and it's not about countless times being stuck. My eyes are open with new knowledge, this knowledge is overpowering, my old avenues are blocked, and still, I have a lifeline that I'm grateful for. I'm not forgetting what life has to offer. I am not blinded to this world's beauty. I know this even if time is taken up within four walls. It could just be I'm angry, at you who is destroying the world around me. We are both heading towards something; I might not get there, sadly you will never stop. I just need to start something, and yet you know what I'm wishing. I'm wishing it could all stop."

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