Secrets at Dillehay Crossing - Chapter 19 - A Strange Twist of Fate

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Lilly sat in the gazebo quietly listening to Relda and John, her mind occasionally drifting to the nearby old, abandoned farm house and recalling the day she first encountered Francine’s eerie image, her desperate pleas to help John still echoing inside her head. Why does Francine remain in that old house? Does she linger there because the house is the site of her sudden, unexpected death, unwilling to accept her death as some ghosts do stuck in the shadowlands between heaven and earth? Or is she a perturbed spirit who lingers in the house solely because of her love and concern for her son, John? Maybe, Lilly hypothesized, Francine’s spirited is stuck here because she feels guilty for having abandoned John with no one to care for him. Now that John’s been reunited with the Masons, maybe she’ll finally be free, free to cross over and go to the place where spirits eventually go. But what if there’s some other unfinished business that’s keeping her there? What could it possibly be? I’ll have to go over there the next time I get a chance.

Something stirred in the trees just beyond the gazebo. Lilly squinted her eyes, and there, amidst the shadows of the slow-setting sun, the shirtless boy in tattered overalls emerged from the underbrush, this time dragging his kite behind him and shuffling his feet. “I don’t want to go, not yet,” he begged in a tearful voice. “Let me stay. Please! It’s not time yet. We have to fly our kites together.” She blinked letting her eyes adjust. “Who do you want to fly your kite with?” she implored not realizing she’d spoken out loud. “What do you mean ‘not time yet’?” She blinked again, but he was gone. What just happened? Did I really see Cousin Willie? His soul must be restless, clinging to this world and stuck in the shadowlands like Francine, unable to let go. Something must still be troubling him.

“Who are you talking to,” Relda asked, tapping Lilly on the shoulder to get her attention.

“Oh, uh…no one…uh…just talking with myself.” Lilly winced, her ears turning red. From the edge of her vision she saw Hal and Grammy walking arm in arm towards the gazebo and laughing like they were old school chums. Seeing laughter brush across Grammy’s face warmed her heart reminding her of how Grammy would always say or do something to get her to laugh whenever she was troubled or down and out about something. “You need a good laugh,” she’d say. “Laughter will heal your wounds. No matter what you're going through, it makes you forget about your problems. After what Grammy’s been through these past couple of days, she needs a good laugh.

“Thank you, Miss Nora, for the dance,” Hal said gently kissing her hand. “Perhaps another dance, another time?”

She nodded “yes,” her face blushing ever so slightly.

“I’ll be on my way then.” He tipped his fedora hat and left the gazebo.

“Well, Grammy. I see you found a new friend!” Lilly remarked, winking at Grammy.

“So it would seem.” She sat down next to Lilly shifting her gaze to Relda, focusing on her and John’s conversation. Her eyes narrowed to slits. Her face dropped like a wilting tulip. She gasped. His voice was the same, but his once handsome face was scarred and deeply wrinkled. His hair was thinner and grayer than it was the last time she’d seen him, and he was slightly hunched over. But Grammy recognized him immediately. “Jack?” she burst out, the pitch in her voice rising. His brusque demeanor softened immediately. Then his eyes met hers, instantly locking the same way they did the day they first met decades ago at the Century Room.

“Nora? Nora? Is—is it really you?” he asked, the brashness in his voice dissolving.

“Jack? Your mystery man, Grammy?” Lilly asked in a shaky, disbelieving voice. “That’s impossible!”

“Yes, child. I believe so.” Her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to understand what was happening. Her mind raced, scrambling to understand the bubbling of different powerful memories and emotions. She thought she’d forgotten those moments, those memories, and those emotions. She thought she’d put them aside along with her guilty longing for him and her wondering about him and how life could’ve been different had he not abandoned her.

“What? No! This can’t be happening.” Lilly stared at John with a pinched mouth, adopting a hard tone and using forceful language. “First you’re Frank, then John, and now Jack—the man who abandoned my Grammy decades ago. You show up now. How? Why? Now I can certainly understand Granddaddy Dave’s contempt for you!”

“I deserved that, and you’re probably right. But you need to understand that when I moved into Hickory Pines, I did so knowingly, hoping I would have the courage to face my family and admit what I’ve done to my life and the disgrace I brought to my family. But I had no idea, none at all, that I’d also find my long-lost love.”

“You’re saying you didn’t know, didn’t know I was Nora’s granddaughter, not until today. Why do I not believe you?”

“I don’t blame you, not one damn bit. What I can tell you is that early on, your dimples reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on who—well, not until I saw you wearing those pearls, the one’s I gave Nora. In that instant, I knew you were her granddaughter, but I had no idea she’d be here today. Just hear me out. That’s all I ask. I won’t throw any punches. I’ll tell the truth, the unvarnished truth. I’ll lay myself bare before you. Come what may.”

“I have half a mind to whisk Grammy away and discard you like you did her, but being spiteful isn’t my nature. Spite never accomplishes anything. She showed me that. So, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I should leave and let you and Grammy talk. You have lots to talk about.”

“No, don’t leave. Not yet.” A still dumbfounded Relda stood up, pacing around the gazebo. “So, Nora, do I understand correctly. John or whoever he claimed to be is the father of your child, of our dear Cousin Willie?”

“Yes. It would seem so.”

“Child? Our Cousin Willie?” John’s brows lifted in surprise. “What’s she talking about, Nora?”

“Oh dear! I never imagined discovering in one day that Relda’s sister adopted my son and learning that he passed away right here on this very property. Then the next day his long-lost father shows up. This is too much. Too much.”

“Adopted son? What a strange twist of fate!” John approached Nora, his craggy features suspended between grief and joy—grief in knowing he had a son, a son he’d never known, and joy in finally finding Nora. “I have no words,” he said, the stress and anguish in his voice was apparent.

Minutes passed, Grammy taking him in, struggling to comprehend that he wasn’t one of the pictures she kept by her beside years ago. He was real and sitting next to her. Her brain couldn’t formulate a coherent thought, at least not one based in any language. “How the ground between us was erased, I'll never know. How is it that in one moment we’re apart, and in the next we’re morphed into a couple with a shared tragedy?”

One of his hands clasped hers, and the other stroked her hair. With each soft touch, tears fell—tears neither of them wiped away. “I never stopped loving you, Nora. After so many years we have the chance to make amends, catch up, and—if you’re willing—make new memories.”

Years of history flooded Grammy’s head. She’d had so much shared history with this man not to feel a spark. Should I open my heart or keep it slammed shut? I could pick up where we left off, but how do I do that without getting hurt? “I never stopped loving you, either,” she murmured the words—the words John longed to hear all those years in prison.

“How I wish I could undo it all … take it all back…My bad decisions, the terrible things I’ve done, and all those years I spent locked up and unhappy. Took me a long time to realize that prison is where I belonged.

“Prison?”

“Yes, Nora, prison, the worst kind of prison—a prison for the most vile and vicious kind of criminal. I was surrounded by hundreds of those types of people every day, but I was the only one serving my sentence. I was terrified and heartbreakingly alone. I knew no one on the outside, no one to console me. I had a lot of time to think, eventually understanding I should’ve and could’ve straightened my life out sooner. I realized that the day I met you. You were one of the few good things in my life.”

“But—but,” she interrupted him trying to keep her voice steady. “—you left, left without a word leaving me in the lurch. If I was so important to you, how could you? I have to ask ‘why?’.”

“I went back to San Francisco to settle my affairs just as I told you, planning to return as quickly as possible. But that’s when the law caught up with me. I was arrested, convicted, and sent to prison having been just recently released. I immediately boarded a train for Dallas arriving in Parker just days ago.”

“But you knew about the bungalow house and the likelihood I was living there still waiting for you. Why, why in heavens name did you come out here instead of to our house, the one you bought for us. Remember?”

“Of course, I remember. How could I not?” The color stormed into his cheeks, and he thrust an impatient hand through his hair. “The day my train arrived in Dallas, I hailed a taxi and headed straight for the bungalow house. When the driver pulled into your driveway, I couldn’t muster the courage to even get out of the car. After all those years of dreaming about you and pinning my hopes on our reunion, I feared I’d startle you and you’d slam the door in my face, rejecting me and forever closing the door on us. I couldn’t face that. Instead I came to Parker and moved into Hickory Pines, hoping to one day gain favor with the only family I’d ever known. That’s when I met Lilly. Were it not for her I wouldn’t have had the guts to be here today. Were I not here, I wouldn’t have encountered you.” Do you ever wonder why things turned out the way they did? I have, and it seems like the fates have brought us together after all this time.”

“Fate? Fate is a weighty word to throw around, especially now.”

“Sometimes fate or life or whatever you want to call it, leaves a door a little open and you walk through it. That’s the way I felt when I met you decades ago—that the fates had opened a door for me, for us. But sometimes life slams the door shut and locks it. Sometimes you have to find the key, or pick the lock, or knock the damn thing down. That’s what I’m doing now. I’m knocking down the damn door! At least give me a chance and let me in. John hugged Nora, gently resting his head on hers and she on his. In that instant, Nora felt like the most beloved woman on earth, but was feeling beloved enough—enough to ignore John’s sordid past and forgive him?

“I don’t know. I just don’t know, Jack—or do I call you John now?” She ran her hands through her hair. “I’m so confused. I need time to step back, to think.” She turned to Lilly. “I’m suddenly feeling exhausted. Would you take me back to your house?”

“Sure, Grammy.” She stood up and pulled her car keys from her pocket, offering Grammy her arm to steady herself as she walked down the gazebo steps.

“Wait, Nora, wait! Before you go, will you at least promise me that you’ll see me again. We have much to talk about.”

Grammy started to nod but hesitated.

“Please,” he begged. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“Okay, I promise. Tomorrow.” She murmured bowing her head slightly. “I’ll come with Lilly when she goes to Hickory Pines tomorrow.”

John kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you then.” He stood with slumped shoulders and watched Nora disappear from his view realizing the empty and helpless feeling she must’ve had the day he left her standing all alone on the train platform with nothing more than a promise of his return. Light drained from the sky, dusk fading in so slowly that John failed to notice until the path at his feet dissolved into the darkness of the woods. The shadows of the trees blended into blackness, their silhouettes growing less pronounced against the night sky. Even without light, John knew the way, his feet instinctively following the well-worn footpath towards Dillehay Creek where it emptied into Hawkes Pond. Just as he approached Hickory Pines, he glanced upward at the cloudless sky, catching a glimpse of the full moon rising on the horizon. He turned in the direction of the old abandoned farmhouse noticing that the moonlight was casting a soft white glow on it making it appear to glow in the dark.

The same moonlight lit the way for Lilly as she maneuvered her way along the narrow road that took her from the gazebo back to her house. Grammy sat frozen in the seat next to her silently staring out the window. They pulled into the driveway, and Grammy slowly climbed out of the car. Once inside, she did finally speak, her voice flat and monotonous. “I don’t know how to clear my head and sort things out.” She dug through her purse searching for tissues, wiping her wet, dull eyes. “What do I say to Jack—I mean John—tomorrow? Where do I begin? To what end? Maybe I shouldn’t go after all.” She sighed a deep seated sigh.”

“I can’t imagine what you’re dealing with right now, Grammy. I’m in shock myself and feel totally helpless not knowing what to say or do that might help you.”

“It’s such a bizarre situation, so bizarre that I’m not sure anyone can help. What I really need to survive tomorrow is sleep, at least six hours would be nice. Maybe with the light of a new day, things will be clearer.”

“Okay, Grammy,” Lilly said, accompanying her up the stairs. “See you in the morning.”

Grammy showered and climbed into bed, desperately wanting to melt into the mattress’ soft foam and drift into the world of dreams. But her muscles were so tense that she felt more like a mannequin on the soft mattress than a woman of flesh and bone. Her brain whirled trying to organize the chaos in her life.

On the other side of Hawkes Pond, Frank, too, was tossing and turning, his eyes frequently opening then closing again. He threw off the covers and sat up, his eyes darting to the clock. What the hell! It’s two-thirty in the morning! I can’t sleep. He flipped on the light switch and looked around his apartment, horrified at how filthy it was. I’ve got to clean this up for Nora. He stumbled about his apartment emptying ashtrays and snatching clothes from the floor and throwing them in the laundry basket. He picked up discarded whiskey bottles and the stacks of old newspapers pitching them in the building’s tumble-down trash chute. He handwashed his dishes, laundered and dried his bedding, remade his bed, placing the pillows on top of the it. He organized his art supplies and gathered up his drawings, neatly stacking them on the table adjacent to his easel. He showered for the second day in a row, something he rarely did, and dressed. He opened his patio door and stepped outside. “Where are you kid?” he snarled, surprised that the shirtless boy in tattered overalls didn’t greet him.

An hour later, morning dawned bright and sweet, like ribbon candy. Lilly woke with a start and leapt out of bed, nausea once again gripping her stomach. She tiptoed down the stairs where she found Grammy was already awake, dressed, and drinking a cup of coffee. “Good morning, Doodlebug. You don’t look so good.”

“I’m okay, but for some reason, I’m just a bit queasy again this morning.”

“Probably just a nervous stomach from all that’s happened. Nothing to be concerned with.”

“Probably so. But when I get to Hickory Pines, I’ll ask Dr. Sean to give me something to settle my stomach. Where’s Nick?” she asked, her eyes circling the room.

“He left about an hour ago.”

“Did he say where he was going?”

“Something about helping Dave re-shoe the horses. By the way, he suggested I take the family scrapbook with me to Hickory Pines when I visit with John. What do you think?”

“You can show him the pictures of Cousin Willie and his adoptive parents. What a splendid idea! That Nick can be brilliant sometimes,” she smiled recalling how much she loved Nick. “You know, I think I’ll give John the box of trinkets I retrieved from the attic the other day. Give me a few minutes, Grammy, and I’ll be ready to take you to Hickory Pines.”

“Aren’t you going to eat before we leave?”

“No. I best not. I’ll grab something later at work, maybe a cheese Danish and some coffee from the cafeteria. The Danishes are scrumptious—no heavenly! I’ll pick up a half dozen and take them to John.”

By the time Lilly and Grammy arrived at Hickory Pines, John had fallen asleep in his easy chair, his sleepless night having caught up with him. They knocked on his door awakening him from his stupefied state. He staggered to the door, still a bit dazed and confused, and opened it.

“Good morning, Frank—I mean…uh…John. Did we awaken you? Look!” She said in a singsongy voice waving the sack of Danishes in front of his face. “We brought you cheese Danishes and coffee.”

“Gah!” He blinked his eyes a couple of times glancing at his wristwatch. “You’re awfully early, sweetheart.”

Lilly turned toward Grammy and winked. “Frank, I mean John, isn’t a morning person.”

“I recall. His mood improves after his morning smoke and coffee,” Grammy giggled nervously, reminding John of how he’d loved Nora’s giggles and how much he’d missed the laughter they shared as part of the loving bond they made.

“The day’s a wastin’.” Lilly hurried past John laying the sack of pastries and coffee on the dining room table. “You and Grammy have lots of catching up to do. She grabbed a Danish from the sack munching on it as she headed towards the door. “I need to make my morning rounds and see Dr. Sean.”

Grammy hesitantly entered John’s apartment, removed the headscarf she was wearing, and sat down in one of the dining room chairs, placing the trinket box and Mason family scrapbook on the table. “What’s all this?” Frank asked, sitting down next to her and lighting a cigar.

“The trinket box is one Lilly retrieved from her attic a few days ago. I don’t know what’s in it, but she thought you should have it. She also found this scrapbook. I spent hours poring over its pages learning about Willie. I thought you might want to do the same.”

“Well, let’s have a look.” He scooted his chair closer to her, his cigar smoke wafting through the air. Grammy closed her eyes, the sweet, nutty smell of his cigar smoke igniting memories of their days together—sweet but painful memories she thought she’d pushed aside forever. She opened her eyes and found John’s attention focused on the picture of Willie with Rose and Charlie.

“I vaguely remember Rose. She and Aunt Relda were close. Hard to believe that the boy between her and Charlie is our son.” He leaned in taking a closer look at the picture. “He has your angelic-looking eyes, long eyelashes, and cute pug nose.”

A pink flush crossed Grammy’s cheeks. “He has your striking dark hair and expressive eyebrows. He would’ve been a handsome man. I wish I’d known him.”

“Me too. If only the fates would’ve allowed—”

“—but fate wasn’t on our side, was it? Or maybe it was.” Grammy turned to John and spoke haltingly, fighting back the tears. “I sometimes wonder if Willie’s fate, like are very own, was determined long before he was born.” She wiped her wet face with her fingers turning the page. “Look at this other picture of Willie—shirtless wearing tattered overalls and straw hat. What a free spirit he must’ve been.”

“I recognize that kid!” His eyes held a flash of surprise. “He haunted me for years in my dreams, even when I was in prison. Could it be that he was looking for me?”

“That’s not possible. Now you’re talking some of the same mumbo jumbo that Lilly does. She actually believes in seeing spirits and the like. Wouldn’t surprise me at all if she said she’d seen Willie haunting the shores of Hawkes Pond.”

John took a steeling breath not wanting to tell Nora that he’d seen Willie outside his patio window. “Does seem far-fetched when I stop and think about it.”

“I love Lilly dearly, but even as a child she was peculiar—seeing people that weren’t there. I tried to discourage her but to no avail.”

“I have to admit, she has an unique spirit about her, something almost untouchable. That’s for sure. She has a quiet strength about her, though. I can see your fine hand in raising her.”

“Listen, John.” Nora set the scrapbook aside, looking him squarely in the eye. “Before we go any further, I need to get some things off my chest. For years after you vanished from my life, I lay awake at night with your memories flooding through my eyes hoping to at least be with you when sleep arrived. Eventually, I had to put my thoughts of you aside and move on with raising my ten-year old son and then Lilly. Deep in my heart, I suppose I secretly wanted to be with you, but we just can’t pick up where we left off—too many years have passed. I’ve spent decades alone and now rather enjoy the solitude and my independence. I don’t know if I’m ready to be with a man, especially a man with your shady past—a past I know little about. Mind you, I’m not rejecting you. I just don’t want a romantic relationship with anyone. All I really want for now and the foreseeable future is companionship.”

John broke eye contact with her, his face going slack and paling slightly. “Not what I wanted to hear after all these years of hoping and dreaming.” He clenched and unclenched his hands, resisting the urge to slam his still bandaged hand on the table. “But,” he expelled an audible breath and smiled a bitter smile, “I can learn to be content with that.”

Time passed imperceptibly as Nora and John continued looking through the scrapbook pages. Meanwhile, Lilly finished her rounds, her stomach still churning.

“Dr. Sean, I can’t seem to shake this almost constant nausea. Do you have some sort of magic pill you could give me?

“An upset stomach? Hmmm. Everyone, even someone as young and healthy as you, experiences an upset stomach and indigestion from time to time after eating or drinking. There’s usually no cause for concern, but lie down on the examining table and let me poke around just to be sure. Does this hurt?” he asked pushing around on her stomach.

“No, not really.”

“Your internal organs feel normal. When did the nausea start?” He gently returned her to a sitting position.

“Oh, a couple of days ago.”

“Any particular time of day?”

“Mostly in the morning, but today the nausea has stayed with me. Do you think the stress and uncertainty in my life is creating my upset stomach?”

“Could be.”

“Well, then I just need something to calm my nerves, and I’ll be on my,” she insisted glancing up at the wall clock.

“Not so fast, Lilly. I think there’s a pretty logical explanation for your sudden onset of nausea. When was your last period?”

“Hmmm. Let me think. A week after my wedding day, six weeks ago. Wait—what are you suggesting?”

“You could be pregnant.”

“What? How—how did this happen?” she asked feeling lightheaded.

“I think we both now the answer to that question.” A teasing smile crossed his face. “I can give you a pregnancy test to be sure.”

“Okay, I guess.” Her voice was soft and shaky.

“All I need is a urine sample to see what your hCG level is.”

“hCG?”

“Just a fancy word for your pregnancy hormone levels. Nothing to worry about. Here’s a cup.”

After peeing in the cup, Lilly’s hand shook as she handed it to Dr. Sean. “So, is there nothing you can give me for the nausea?”

“No, not really. I suggest you get out of bed slowly as you start your day. Keep a stash of crackers or dry cereal by your bed so you can put something in your stomach as soon as you wake up. Eat small meals and get plenty of rest when you can. Avoid stress and spicy foods.”

“Well, alright,” she answered with a small nod, suddenly feeling numb and heavy. “When will you have the test results?”

“Two or three days tops. I suggest you hold off telling anyone until we know for sure.”

She left the infirmary without saying another word, making her way to John’s apartment. I just can’t believe this! she muttered under her breath vigorously shaking her head.

“Are you okay, Doddlebug?” Grammy asked. “You look a little pale like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Funny, Grammy! Very funny. I’m just tired, that’s all, but I sure could use one of your hugs right about now.”

“Sure thing!” Grammy stood up, wrapping her arms around Lilly and hugging her tightly leaving Lilly feeling safe, warm, and secure. “I hope I can one day be half the mother you’ve been to me.” Her eyes suddenly filled with tears.

“Why are you so emotional all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know. No specific reason. I’ve a had a rough couple of days.” Using her shirt sleeve, Lilly dabbed the tears from her eyes, turning her attention to John. “Have you and Grammy looked inside the trinket box yet?”

“No, not yet. Why?”

“I was thinking Grammy might like to see what’s inside, especially the newspaper clippings of you during your heyday as a boxer.”

“Listen, Doodlebug.” A look of fatigue crossed Grammy’s face. “I’m running on fumes right about now and would really rather not continue. Would you take me home?”

“Of course, all of this for another day.”

“Perhaps tomorrow, Nora?” John asked, escorting them to his front door.

“Tomorrow. Yes.”

“Just one last thing as you leave. I want you to remember what was good in me, not what was most awful. Promise me you’ll try.”

“I’ll try.” She said kissing him softly on the cheek. “I’ll try.”

Lilly paused before opening the door. “One more thing about that trinket box. I stuffed several of your mother’s things inside it including her will. She bequeathed the old farmhouse, barn, and surrounding land to you. I assume your dad never told you. And since the will was well hidden inside my attic, I’m guessing Granddaddy Dave didn’t want you to know about it hoping you’d never return, forever keeping the will a secret—a secret I wasn’t supposed to unearth. But secrets being what they are don’t stay hidden forever. The Universe doesn't like secrets. It conspires to uncloak them. Fair warning--You’ll more than likely have to fight him for it.

“I’ve never been one to back away from a fight.” His jaw hardened and he clenched his fists

“That’s what I thought you’d say.”

After they left, John grabbed his whiskey bottle and stepped out onto his patio. He tipped the bottle taking a long, soothing swig and stared into the dark horizon barely able to make out the silhouettes of the old farmhouse, barn, and Texas windmill. “Where are you, kid?” he yelled, plopping down in the metal garden chair and lighting a cigar. “Where are you, kid?” He repeated, his voice shaking and his gaze darting back and forth. “Don’t be a stranger not now—not when I understand who you are.” Hell! He threw his half-smoked cigar on the ground and stomped it. I waited too long. You’re gone. Perfect! Just Perfect!

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