Running From The Engagement Issue

Inside Artie’s knap sack were wooden stakes and iron railings, palisades that were clanging as he secured good footing for a sprint on the turf.

“What is chasing Artie,” a voice inquired from above and could be heard inside the commonwealth taxpayers’ mind, “I left him enough English and French coins for him to enjoy these beautiful hills and mountains.”

It was than on the grassy knoll Artie suddenly stopped, “this is the place I will select to find peace,” feeling this physical challenge was ending.

“The view is just Beaumont,” the blond-haired Achillies exclaimed knowing closure was near and a few seconds later a shiny stone made an appearance.

“This must be a twenty-carat piece,” Artie gasped before the voice returned.

“Artie being a fine member to the commonwealth that relic will reveal the right utility name that will give you eternal energy, so venture to Transylvania and wait there for Scarlett Sky, the maiden who has the right special weight and is a true enchanting travel guide.”

Some days later the vagabond still lugging around the weapons of mass destruction entered Transylvania and wondered how he would encounter this Scarlett Sky.

“Use a phone book,” advice came from nowhere.

“Thank you,” Artie replied taking the listings from the gypsy dialing a number.

“Wow, there is a Scarlett Sky at Andrew Farm,” he closed the delightful book belonging to Ma Bell, “where is Andrew Farm?”

Ma Bell gave a smirk, “I know Scarlett Sky, she will either send you to heaven or downtown.”

“Where is Andrew Farm?” Artie repeated.

“Follow the path hang a right there is a sign that says Andrew Farm, the home for maidens with special weights.”

Hours past and Artie stood alone inside a barn that only seemed to be halfway done, “when something was chasing Artie, they said you had an impressive run.”

Turning around he saw a simple old lady displaying a trustworthy image, “there are no more maidens with special weights and as for Scarlett Sky well she just loved those featured stakes.”

“Did you say stakes or steaks?”

Giving off a chuckle the grandmother type observed Artie realize life’s weighty problem were off his back, “I am Illiogama,” she opened her mouth to reveal false teeth fangs, “and what happened to your stakes?”

“Scarlett Sky bought them with her purse money.” Artie felt the bite penetrate his skin and the next thing he saw was a beautiful red head maiden ask before handing him the restaurant check, “do you have American Express?”