NEW BEGINNINGS
Nothing is as dreadful as the start of something new. Even if you know it’s for your own benefit. The fear of letting go of what was, just stings your mind. And it is this fear that makes one to be hesitant of new beginnings.
Ah, new year, exciting and excruciating synonymously. I still recall the first day of the new year like it was yesterday. I was so high on happiness, especially when we started the count down with the family. All those fireworks, braai meat and great company…phew, I just couldn’t hold myself down. I was like a puppy seeing meat bones.
In the morning of the first day of 2020, we prepared to visit the beach, which is a norm in our community. Our neighbours and us would hire about four (4) quantum taxis to Banana beach. And I don’t even want to talk about the fun we have riding in those taxis, listening to the top songs of the year, dancing, wiggling and waving our hands in the air like we just don’t care. Whenever we arrived at the destination, it would be like a new Murchison town because everybody’s just there. The beach would be so packed and that’s what I enjoyed.
Our parents work their hearts out during the year and they never have time to take us to the beach and mostly, economy wise, it’s just not a clever financial decision. So come the end of the year and they would have received bonuses and that’s one of the few times they get to spoil us, apart from buying Christmas clothes, never gets old. New wear and hitting the beach, could it get any better? I must say though, it wasn’t all glitz and glammer with old people asking how I feel about making it to high school, that just nerve wrecked me. No disrespect, but elders are such priers, too nosey for me, thank you very much!, There they were forcing me to think about the new school and the possibility of having to make new friends.
Fortunately for me I would still have to wear the same grey pants and white shirt as I did in primary school. I guess I won’t be leaving everything behind after all because I get to keep the old uniform, points for me… I shivered thinking about the new school, but once I started attending, it wasn’t that bad , no one forced me to engage in embarrassing stunts as we were always warned as ‘’freshers’’ that it would be bad for us. To quote my primary school principal ‘’ you’ll be fresh meat amongst predators’’ as he made roaring sounds and uglying his already not so pleasing face. Argh, I tell you that man had it bad for us.
The new teachers are rather strange though, always wearing grumpy faces. I wondered if it was a good idea to greet them or should I just act like they’re invisible. They are unfriendly, unlike our primary school teachers. Here, they all have the attitude of our previous lion roaring principal, but I guess it’s because they teach older pupils, so they don’t have to smile in order to make us feel comfortable, perks of growing up I guess.
As for new friends, I did manage to make a few, just three (3). My big brother always says ‘’ a real men should always have a circle of less than five (5) friends, if not, that’s a sissy’’ well he’s a sixteen (16) year old, just three (3) years older than me, with age comes wisdom, so they say. So I should listen to him as he’s more experienced in the men-hood. Besides, I’m just a boy, who am I to question a man? I won’t lie and say it wasn’t hard choosing friends as it was January the month of ‘’poverty’’ nobody wants to share their lunch with anyone, hard times mate, hard times…
Change is hard to accept, I even thought of doing something dumb, like lying to my mom and tell her that I failed so that I won’t have to go to high school, thinking about being with older students whom used drugs and make up, ‘’spawns of satan’’ as my grandmother says , and she continued to say they’ll be damned in hell , my granny is sixty- nine (69) years old, so for someone that has lived that long, she probably knows what God thinks about everyone, which is weird because she always told me that nobody has seen God with their own eyes, so where and how did she have a conversation with the Lord and found out what She knows. I guess it’s because she’s a witch as my unsupportive father always said when making excuses for being absent in my life, I mean come on, man up buddy I’m not that stupid, okay now I’ve swayed way past the topic. But I refrained from lying because having to lie would hinder me from getting new clothes.
Now facing this pandemic, it’s really hard, with all the restrictions and laws to everything. This lockdown, has changed everything, maybe grandma’s right when she says ‘’it’s the end of days’’ because it feels like the end of all things good. We must just forget about playgrounds, hugs are for sensitive people but in their case, will they ever get to hold each other again?, With the economy drowning? Will our mothers get to keep their jobs? What does this mean for new clothes and money for the beach? Even if miracolosly there’s money for the beach , are we ever going to see it again? After all that worrying about new school, will I ever go to school again? What’s the future like? See now I’m worried that I’ll miss the things I was scared to indulge in, so I’m worried about my worries. It’s a cumbusum catastrophe,
Observe how I was so reluctant to start afresh but as soon as I accepted it, it turned out for the better, I progressed and made new friends, something I wouldn’t have done if I cowarded inside my cocoon filled with fear. Fear clouds every beautiful thing, there’s no love in fear and definitely there’s no faith in it. Faith is what we need right now because it’s the mother of all good things. Without faith there’ll be no patience, tolerance, perseverance, hope and all kinds of positivity. Facing this big change in our lives requires faith. All great men, achieved so much because they had faith in their ventures. Accepting change is what assisted us to transition from uncivilized ( although I think we were always civilized having studied Egypt’s history, but okay just get the motivation people) to civilized. It’s how we’ve evolved. And just maybe this will help us evolve too.
Like transport being more efficient and fast, no more long ques at the supermarkets . we would finally live in a technologically advanced world like in star trek. We have to keep the trees though, because that’s what THE LOREX says, and don’t you dare argue with him, ever, period.
Comments