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Lorpat, What it is and What it means


Many years ago right out of high school I met a girl. She was a few years younger then me. We were both lonely and hit it off. After that summer was over her mother left her step-father and moved back up north. we started writing to each other. We were not very good letter writers but we kept in touch. Her mom would bring her down once in a while and I would visit them when I could. Then I went in the Air Force and as time went by there were less letters. I visited her on my first leave. We started talking about marriage.

    After I finished tech training I was stationed near my home town. I had not heard anything from her for a while all of a sudden I get a letter saying she was coming by Grayhound and needed my help. I started meeting all the buses coming to Redlands and the ones I couldn't meet I had friends meet. About 3 days later I was late getting to a bus. The ticket agent told me she got off and started down the street. I followed behind and I found her a few blocks down trying to get help. She was 8 1/2 pregnant. She told me when she found out she was pregnant she married the father but it was not good living with his family so she left. 
    I found her a place to stay and they helped her when it came time to have the baby. She had a boy. I was happy. I love kids. She stayed there about 6 months then went back up north with her father. We wrote back and forth a few times. finally I said why don't you move down here and we will get married like we always talked about. She agreed and moved back down here with me about a week before we were to get married. I found out after she moved down she was still married to the other guy so that put a stop to our wedding plans. When I found out I said let's just live together for a while and see what happens. It was not a good relationship she never wanted to do a thing except talk on the phone and lie on the couch and watch TV. 
   After 3 months she decide she didn't like Southern Cal anymore and had to move back up North  So she left. A few months later I found out I was being transferred to Canada. I was friends with her little sister and wanted to stay in contact so after I got to Canada I gave the sister my address. 
   The sister wrote back that my x was pregnant with twins and I was a father. I was very happy. The next letter from the sister said my x had the babies and they were healthy. Then I didn't hear a thing for about 6 months. Then I got a phone call one evening from the sister begging me to come down because the state took the kids away from my x.  
   Maybe there was something I could do to get the girls. So I got on the plane the next morning and flew back to the states. I got another plane west. I got to Sacramento about midnight. I got a room and slept a few hours. I got the first bus north and got to her mother's house about 9 am. Her mother took me to the welfare worker. I talked with  her a while and she showed me the reports. I said I agree with her I knew what kind of a housekeeper my x was. Then she told me something that really hurt. She said my x had put down someone else was the father of the girls. So that left me without many rights. In the seventies fathers didn't have a lot of rights anyway. They let me sit in on the court hearing the next day. I gave the welfare worker my Mom's address and phone and they said they would keep me informed. I talked with the foster parents. The foster parents said I could visit anytime I wanted. So I made time before I left to see my girls. It was a beautiful afternoon. I was going to take pictures but my camera refused to work, so no pictures. I flew down to spend time with my Mom  I wanted to explain in person what was going on so she would not worry so much. Then I went back to Canada and finished my tour.  
   After I got out I tried for several months to find work finally I found a part time job. Then a full time job. Then got in with the con man. It was at this time my Mom got a call from the police up north saying my girls were dead. My mom got the info wrong and thought it was a fire. I found out years later they were left by a pool at the foster parents house and fell in and drowned. My Mom worried for a few days about telling me because of all the pressure the con man had put on me. She decide I was an adult and she had no right to keep the information from me. She also had a letter from my x apologizing for all the lies she told me. She said after the girls deaths she was growing up fast. It was quite a while later before I could even grieve for my girls. I finally did after I got away from the con man and my life settled down again. 
    One day when I was thinking about my girls I decided the only thing I could ever give them was names so I renamed them. Their mother named the Sandy and Cindy Seeley (her boyfriends last name). I named them after my 2 favorite singers Loretta Lynn Nelson and Patsy Cline Nelson.  Another day I was trying to think of some kind of memorial I could do for the girls. I thought for a long time. Then I took the first three letters from both of their names Lor + Pat and came up with Lorpat. Now I use lorpat every time I can as a memorial for two girls that never had a chance.  
 
     

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Book: Shattered Sighs