Broken Hope
The Doctor hated his job, not all of it but this part. His job is usually so rewarding. He saves people’s lives, he gives mothers their children. He is the guardian angel that they pray for. He strides down the hospital halls, his footsteps creating a symphony of righteous and warm music. The walls of the obstetrics center painted with bright vibrant colors, full of sounds of happiness and joy. The Doctor would walk down the hall full of pride. Standing straight a grin of true content on his face. New fathers would greet him with thank you’s and handshakes. And the mothers, while thankful couldn’t bare to tear their gaze from their new childs face. They just mumbled thank you as they cried tears of joy. The nurses would give him flirtatious looks, and he would send them right back. The interns looked at him like he was a rockstar, their hero. But not today, today was different.
He’d been sitting in his office, about to go see a patient, he was happy. When he received an email from his friend, a doctor in the oncology department. He’d consulted him to help with the test result for a patient. The patient he was going to see, Cora Broehain and her husband Euston. He picked up a doughnut sitting on his desk and took a bite while opening the file. He scanned over it looking for one word humming the song Hero by Enrique Iglesias while looking. When he found the one word he abruptly stopped,and his doughnut slipped from his hand. He read the word over and over again and again, Hoping, praying that it was a mistake. He called his friend, but their was none. All of the sudden he was being stared in the face by the only part of his job that he hated. His shoulders slumped his happiness and content gone. He slowly rose from his chair and walked down the hallway that he usually loved so much. But today, the hallway was different. He wasn’t smiling, he walked slowly drained of purpose. The walls were a grey and bleak. His footsteps echoing down the hall making it sound as if he was being followed, haunted by ghosts. As the doctor neared the end of the hall he came upon the door. He pause at the door listening to the sounds of laughter, joy, and love inside. All of this he was about to ruin, he took a deep breath, knocked once, and walked inside.
. . .
Our lives were perfect, my wife Cora Broehain was laying on her back in a hospital bed. Her swollen stomach exposed, her eyes fixed on the screen. Her mouth parted as she took in our daughter, Hope. Still trapped in Cora’s stomach, waiting to be released.
“Ohhhh Euston she’s perfect,” her voice choked with tears as she looks toward her husband.
“Just like her mama,” I lean down and kiss her forehead. Then I kiss her belly.
“Euston stop,” I keep going and she goes from giggling to laughing. She’s still laughing when we hear the knock on the door. That single knock signaling the end of good times. Followed by Dr. Kevorkian sweeping in, his coat flapping like the robes of Death himself.
“Hey Doc,” I rose and extended my arm to shake his hand, but freezing when I saw him flinch. He started sweating and his eyes shifted between Cora and me. I knew that look, the look a deer gives when trapped in headlights. A look of impending doom, my heart grew heavy and I took my wife's hand. She looked me in the eye trying to discern what's wrong before finally piecing it together. Her shoulder stiffened and her lips pursed, a tear already welling up in her eye.
“Euston, Cora I’m afraid I have some bad news,” He paused taking a breath composing himself. “Your tests came back….. It’s Cancer.”
“No, No, No please God No,” Cora cry’s out screeching clawing into her husbands arms. Euston gathers her shaking form barely holding on himself.
“ Please Doctor Kevorkian tell me there’s something we can do, anything please.” Eustons words frantic taking Dr. Kevorkian by the shoulders shaking him. Eyes mad with grief searching his face, but seeing the hard lines of bad news yet to come.
“ There’s more the treatment for your cancer,” his eyes nervously darted to Cora’s. “Is extremely aggressive, you would normally have a high success rate.” Then she’ll be okay right she has to be ok. Cora reaches out and touches his hand Looking the doctor hard in the face.
“You said normally, what’s different here?” Dr. Kevorkian looked at her in grief and unbearable pain.
“ What’s different here is Hope, you can survive the treatment, but she can’t. I’m sorry but you have to make a choice.” Wait what do you mean we have to make a choice. Euston stands face red in anger, what kind of choice. Cora’s eyes fall down already knowing the truth before the Dr. says it. “ If your wife get’s the chemo Hope will die, but if she doesn’t your wife will die.
“How do we save her?”
“What are you talking about Cora you’re not gonna die.” Euston yelling at her grabbing her gently tugging. Fully conscious of her condition. “ You aren’t dying, we can, we can have other kids.” Euston chock’s out stammering between tears.
“No baby we can’t, because I can’t let Hope die. We’ve been trying for years we lost faith until God gave us this….. This hope. You have to hold onto her.”
“Don’t say that,” Eustons grief torn screech echoes out. “ Don’t say that I have to take care of her as if it’s already been decided.” He kneels down by her and rests his head on her stomach. “ Don’t talk like you’re already dead. Please you’re all I have.” He’s racked with sobs as he hugs her swollen belly. Cora looks at the ceiling trying to make the tears fall silently.
“ Can you hear her?” She whispers silently her voice breaking. “ Can you feel her heartbeat? Remember the time I woke up and punched you cause I thought you kicked me?” Euston laughs through his tears choking on them.
“ Not even born yet and still making us fight.” He keeps chuckling making Cora smile. Cora grabs his head and looks him right in the eye’s. Tears pouring down her face.
“ Baby you know what I want, and I know what you want, but you have to make the decision. But before you do. Just think of all the moments of happiness she’s already given us, Choose.” Euston starts crying again before steeling himself. He looks at Dr. Kevorkian who had been shifting awkwardly the whole time.
“ I choose……”
. . .
The hill was moving as the pair climbed it. The wind blowing the grass every direction. They walked to the lone headstone and kneeled before it. The man appearing older than he was. Weathered by the storm of pain that makes up the world. He stared at the tombstone no longer prey to tears, but forever filled with grief. He squeezes the hand of his partner.
“ I think about the choice I made everyday. I play it in my mind, but I still chose you. Every year we come here not just because she died on this day. But because it should remind us that the hard choices in life. The ones that come at a great sacrifice, always have the best reward.” He looks down at his partner, “ If there’s one thing she taught me it would be to never give up Hope. Do you understand sweetheart?” His partner looks up at him and smiles her candy smile.
“Yes daddy.”
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