A Modest Business Proposal
© Errol Young
errol.young@gmail.com
JONATHAN SWIFT SERVICES
Please everybody, just settle down. Settle down and we will get started in a minute.
Has everyone signed in and Does everyone have a pamphlet? Excellent. Those of you who want to top up their coffee or wine please do so now. 
Thank you. Can you hear me at the back? Good.
My name is Johnathan Swift. I've been a successful professional financial consultant and entrepreneur for over two decades now and I will make this short and sweet.
You all know why we are here. I am going to present an investment opportunity that is unmatched in today’s market. At the end of this presentation you will have an opportunity to meet with our representatives to see if this is right for your investment portfolio or even your career.
Can we have the first PowerPoint slide please?
There it is. Thank you.
This is Jonathan Swift Services!
Ok. You all know that when Donald Trump was reelected two years ago he had a traditional right wing American agenda that included, among other things, a complete ban on abortions in the USA.
Next slide.
Aided by a renewed Republican Senate, House and his three appointments to the Supreme Court, he is about to achieve this.
Next slide.
Soon there will be no legal abortions in the United States for any reason, even to preserve the health of the mother. Violation of the new proposed anti-abortion law will result in serious federal jail time, up to 10 years for each offence with no chance of parol, for the patient and the doctor. 
You know that does not mean that there will be no abortions in the fifty states. As in the past, women will resort to non-standard illigal solutions offering various levels of medical and legal safety. Those with money will be able to find practitioners who will charge for clandestine procedures. Not a pretty picture.
That is where Jonathan Swift Services comes in.
Slide.
Here, in Canada, there is almost no chance of a similar prohibition. Canadian women have the right to clinically safe and legal abortions, on demand, covered by most Provincial health plans.
Jonathan Swift Services will offer American women that same service, legal, fast, safe and discrete abortions, here, in Canada, for a fee. We are filling a need here.
Slide.
We plan to set up a franchise system where members would have Johanathan Swift abortion clinics, in every major Canadian city, in normal office buildings or store fronts, using our equipment and supplies right down to the toilet paper.
We expect that partnerships of Canadian doctors, like you, would be the majority of franchisees.
Slide.
The principle staff of these clinics would of course also be Canadian doctors, who will appreciate earning extra income above the single payer system. As well, franchises would hire nurses, receptionists and cleaning staff, pay rent, taxes, equipment leasing, medical waste disposal, insurance, etc. And they would pay us a franchise fee for the setup, promotion, booking and for each client we direct to them.
Slide.
Jonathan Swift Services will provide a comprehensive marketing plan that will take advantage of all social and other media and be the clearing house for our clients where they will book clinic appointments, hotel rooms, transportation and process their credit card information. So there are many lucrative opportunities here for the franchisor.
By getting into this market before others, Jonathan Swift Services will be the go to website for anyone thinking abortion. All our competitors will be starting off well behind us in capacity, reputation and brand recognition. And this is where most of your investments would go.
Slide.
But, if you chose to buy as a franchisor, you will also do well. There is plenty for all.
It is said that one in four American women would try to have an abortion in their lifetime. If only ten percent can afford our services, then we have over two million potential clients who can afford us each year. 
A single clinic, with five procedural rooms, a reception area, a recovery lounge, etc could perform twenty five to thirty abortions a day. As Doctors, you know that a garden-variety abortion would take less than fifteen minutes of your time. Most women could be processed in a half hour or less including the consultation, ultrasound, the procedure and clean up. Those that take longer would pay more. Each client will pay five to twenty thousand US dollars per visit depending on the complexities. That means a single franchise would gross $180,000 a day, $900,000 a week, $45 million a year or more! Anyone who cannot make a profit from that is just not trying. And remember, that is just one clinic. We plan to have 15 to 20 eventually.
We expect the Trump dynasty to last for at least a decade or more so this proposal can be a part of your long term financial plan.
Slide.
I know that there are religious groups, even in Canada, that object to abortion on principle, but those same groups support capitalism so don’t expect to see much trouble from them. In any event, Jonathan Swift Services will donate substantial funds to women’s groups supporting the status quo to ensure that there are voices on our side. We will also encourage local franchisees to do the same locally. Added to this would be our funds allocated to substantial lobbying in Ottawa.
Slide.
That’s it in a nutshell. Any questions?
Yes Dr. Cash?
I’ll repeat your question for those in the back. “Could clients opt for enhanced services such as a spa abortion experience where they could get facials, brow stitching or even a bikini wax seeing as how the area is already exposed, before, after or even during the procedure?”
Well, that just shows the synergy in this room. I like the way you think. Yes, but these enhancements would have to wait for year three after we have set up 7 or 12 clinics just to get the kinks out. It could be part of stage two of our business plan.
Any more?
Yes Dr. Ducats is it? Please speak up. “Could we offer incentives for referrals like air miles or gift baskets?”
Of course we will. Just watch us.
And, Dr. Gluney? “How fast can a clinic be set up?”
We can have you up and running in sixty days. We have all the equipment and supplies on order and there are no renovations beyond those needed in a normal medical suit and plenty of rental opportunities in all the cities. You will see some plans in your pamphlet.
Yes, Doctor Spondulicks. “How much does it cost to buy into a franchise?”
Ah, that is the question, I think you need to talk to a representative. This can depend on which city you want to set up in, what the rental and renovation costs are and other factors. But don’t worry. It is almost a turn key operation. We have worked out all those details for you and I think you will be more than surprised at how affordable it is. We have a number of financial plans, many linking you to a bank that knows about this proposal and that can cut through some of that red tape.
Any more questions? No? Good.
Thank you for your time and interest. As I said, our representatives will be available at the back of the hall for those interested in simply investing in the overall prospectus or creating a franchise clinic of that you own or both.
Goodbye and drive safe.
"A young healthy child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout." A Modest Proposal,1729 by Dr. Jonathan Swift
errol.young@gmail.com
Comments