A Bridge over troubled housing donnybrook blight
A Bridge o’er troubled housing donnybrook blight
Strewn like scattershot,
I unearthed tattered bits
think shroud of Turin
for benevolent salvation
couched within substantial
backed up electronic archive
once we got told VAMOOSE
from mouse and roach infested dive
within MainLine snooty hive
of Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania.
Now yours truly
can revisit the past with delight
without fear of eviction
forcing him to take flight,
nevertheless yours truly hopes
former nadir can be complemented
by experiencing fanciful rags
to riches metaphorical height.
The following communiqué birthed
out the scrambled noggin of this chap
courtesy midwife viz Google
to help me validate NOT misspelling
without causing figurative gums
(of stodgy English majors) to flap,
when clarification arose to corroborate
to then property manager
here at Highland Manor Jackie Geiger
presumed definition of various words
clarification regarding domestic crisis
appended with subsequent
broad literary brush strokes,
for eyes of residential management,
who might help map
our way onto positive destiny –
(that long since became a done deal)
so don’t coon sitter this gibberish pap,
intent to broadcast poetic plea
per parti-colored newsletter
sew we zippered up suitcases with a snap.
Feel free to ketchup with chat up
a positive future conversation
sans long-term accommodation,
now passed thru ladies chain
and do-si-do the corporate
cyber net flittering,
snapchatting, twittering miasma
for sought after assistance -
(date of spluttering gobbledygook
long since elapsed)
beef - fore this bleak housed
haunted man outlook perished
then unable to pry
ice cold fingers loose
from frigidaire personal home life travail,
now tis time this ruse stirred, glommed, and
dashed off digital squawking
as mine trumpeting missive
regarding this youthful looking primate
deplorable basket case.
Ah...when as many decades ago younger dude,
dapper daddy done donning daily diaper duty
dem whar da good ole days, when chased
by prospective missus cluck
(waving iron skillet -
sought to recaptcha me), I tried to duck,
now once we happened to be
down on our ill luck
with barely any money to our name,
thank yours truly
we lived gnarled hand to mouth
mired in monetary muck,
our circumstances appeared stuck
and...oh...how the temptation
doth tempted me to hightail and truck.
Boot...where in tarnation
(without any featherbed)
would I go once exiting the front door
truth be told, we ne'er
got any monetary windfall -
thus living financially
precarious quite a chore
nyat, none, and nada endowment
from that rich Uncle Sam –
Asia last-ditch effort,
a manger horse stall
might be our abode and nay bore –
unless weak could have ponied up,
to git off the carousel of time,
and shimmy atop a Clydesdale to coax fate
with mucho moolah
for this Harris son to adore.
Thee crisis of legal tender,
thus found fingers flew across
QWERTY keyboard with message
then upon Lenovo external screen I emboss
Typing SOS to communicate
pennilessness plight, which loess
on par with ma penury and dirt poor status,
where hide feign to be moss
heart reincarnated, though unsure
if that faux role would be a toss
up, and bring a happy good luck
penny-wise outcome sans place to live.
Asthma non-sequitur linkedin
with Jar Jar Binks, we felt cramped
buffered aspirin like
Bing bottled up in Lower Merion
fugetaboutit no matter rent
twas rather steep,
we chose this residence so youngest darling
thee then seventeen year old daughter
could continue to attend
said storied school district,
(who nevertheless subsequently
decided to live with
mine sweeping damn the torpedoes
younger sister dwelling in Bend, Oregon),
while eldest matriculated as Freshman
at The University of Pennsylvania
long since original writing,
me and the missus now inhabit
the one bedroom apartment
located in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.
Long story short -
cuz unabridged version would resort
into infinite space/time continuum beyond,
with silent sonic boom solace from words
echoing sounds of silence
viz this ethereal bulletin,
and would drive one to down a quart
of the strongest ale, gasoline, stout or port
which contraction of mine logorrhea,
would justify me be taken to people's court.
Leaving no time to watch Wallace and Gromit,
who claimed moon iz made out of cheese,
or mice elf to be cagy, nor monkey around
though with focused energy
loosed caboose doth bound,
this wordsmith id est,
a zoological muggle self crowned
aspired to avail Avast goody bag proffered
this shout out for good n plenti Samaritan -
Indeed hoop fully redound
while corporeal of mine essence earthbound -
barring a place for us tubby found
before lease at 724 West Railroad Avenue,
Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania expired,
AND WOULD NOT BE RENEWED.
Then I was prone to live underground
or maybe share a doghouse
with Beagle, Boxer Dalmatian Bred GreyHound,
which dog gone dome main
recognizable by a little mound
while macabre music
set to the words of Ezra Pound
with slow crescendo to suspenseful sound
counterbalanced when relief
of amenable accommodations
inducing me to issue
a mighty exhalation of tension unwound.
An average sized house to rent
would have done the trick
strong n sturdy habitat,
nah nothing exceptionally slick
oh, and spouse also hoped
to acquire social security quick,
no matter the odds to locate an affordable
one or two bedroom square flat,
or even a moon unit shaped like obelisk
portrayed in 2001 A Space Odyssey
might be slim pick
kin - all rhyme aside -
finagling words gave me a kick/
jump starter, I NEEDED/WANTED
A SAFE n SECURE PLACE -
where methinks in retrospect
(a penniless po’ papa prophet)
living quarters can be icon class hick
and freely type out this,
that, or another rhyming lick
whence literary product
analogously strong as stone and/or brick.
Before experiencing deliverance
while hands tightly clasped invoking
broken wing and prayer
genuine appreciation...communication,
and elation will likely (did) ascend
hash tagging thee as unsung
fur - vent underdog hero
on par with opera staring
voicing sotto voce beneficence,
invoking me to do calisthenics backward
as if made from papier-mache
origami pliable to bend
wonders if this electronic effort
will ease anxiety that doth expend
and zap willpower ambition
to sustain optimism, and...well...
ya could beak comb an instant karma omg -
spontaneous sought after friend
this amiable good fella recognizing salvation
qua re: as goddess or godsend
to perform property caretaker tasks
these strong hands lend
broken mechanical appliances,
that requires attention to mend
if necessary provide financial
compensation deep - pend
Mutual (of Omaha –
and the ghost of Carl Perkins)
agreeable contractual obligation will rend
er Vis a vis zit heady costs to spend
so peace of body, mind n spirit,
this husband and wife team can tend
perhaps experiencing marital contentment
as their parallel lives
intertwine and separately wend.
Since all gold plated
suburban grates unavailable they went
like hot cakes, nor premium
heavy metal city vent
left, this wordsmith would hate
to be camped in an uber tent,
which would frankly zappa
my health and force measly money
on bare necessities to stay safe strunk and
white elements of style,
wood beg to be spent
thus this chap wonders
if maintenance tasks acceptable
in lieu of skipping part of thee rent
admits to quality
as a mild mannered married civil
(non warring) Yankee gent.
Though lacking an earned income
(social security saving grace
courtesy disability panic attacks
in tandem with anxiety -
mitigated with pharmacological medication)
daydream rich folks galore
could stage fund raising event,
which rally round the flag boys -
may invite juiced a dent
aye dune hot own even one red cent,
where bad company doth tempt
pest fugit, who doth recapitulate
and be wu tang clan dost stein
amidst/ amongst foghat village people,
when limbs numb and bent
turn attention to superman, maxwell, batman,
or....another dub - bull
land o' Lake Lachrymose agent.
Ignore, Abort, Retry,
Fail error message
an MS-DOS or Windows
command line error
do not COMB H - E - L - P ---
before the (long since elapsed)
stroke o' mid knight of 30 June
SPRING TWO THOUSAND AND SEVENTEEN
WE GOT TO MOVE ASAP,
PER MINE KING DUMB COMB
AND HIS ROOKY of a mercurial QUEEN.
Postscript: that twas the news
from Lake Woebegone
gripped with an undeniable
and irrepressible under tone
where this papa iz quick
with a double entendre and/or pun
sometimes even bringing a guffaw
to thee momma – hun,
when either one or more offspring
bid fare thee well when parenting done
tis startling to reconstitute such –
figurative bun in the oven (if guided
with Plenti of Joyous Hi5’s )
progeny become Linkedin
Match less among anon
nee mouse Crowdsource sing, Groupon Living
social twittering chattering class.
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