The Saga of You and I

This tale is but a breath, but a moment, in the epoch of a woebegone man and his attempt to find meaning in a life filled with uncertainty and adumbral moments of longing and loneliness. I will, here in, chronicle those events as I remember them in hope that some day someone, perhaps even you, may find this. Please do not mourn for me for my choices are always my own. Unlike what you might think, I was not forced to feel for you. I did not need you. I didn't even want the emotions that grew inside of me. I knew they were wrong. I just wanted to feel something, needed to know I was still alive, and this peaceful creature, this exquisite example of femininity and emotions cast her spell and ensnared me in the web of her charms. Why did I fall for you? It is difficult to say. Was it your beauty? Yes. Was it the way you looked at me? Yes. Was it your mind? Yes. Was it your laughter? Yes! Was it your kindness? Yes! Yes! Yes, and so very much more. I tell this tale in hope that you might understand. Please, do not think I ask for forgiveness. I feel no sorrow for what I have done! I just wish it could have ended differently. After I have finished, I have little doubt that whomever might read this will forget me, in time, like the color of the first flower given to them by their first lover or the taste of their first sip of wine, much like you have. It is of no concern to me for I am but an afterthought to you, destined to live on the fringe of life's existence, always there but seldom noticed. Now listen closely for I will not tell this twice.

Once upon my world life crept along in slow revolutions of sunny days followed by dark inky nights. Sunrise and sunset followed by sunrise and sunset, one behind the other. The movement of the stars across the sky decrying the change of each season, sprouting tiny seeds growing into painted flowers as do supple tender stems grow into strong sturdy trunks. The turning of the world never ending, as was the singleness of my hours. Watching forever the myriad of life pass before me as the loneliness ate ever deeper into the ebony abyss that was me ...and time passed...

The warm breeze blows in the early evening crispness when I sense the presence of change upon the darkening sky, and there you stand, tall and slender. A white bud pressed in bas-relief against the stark black water. The gold of the clouds highlighting the flames in the silken, short bronze tresses that spill upon your long feminine neck as I gaze into your beautiful eyes. Like the magic that fills this wondrous place you touch me with the strength of your will and I feel you. You, the enchantress that has placed this spell on my soul. In the shortest of moments with but a smile you have changed my world and made me feel again. Feelings I have not felt for, oh, so very long. You pout gently as you spy me, and in an instant like a shooting star across the heavens I can't help but lose all sense of myself. My head spins and I feel lighter than air.
As I walked toward you I notice a lovely blue flower growing on a spreading shrub. A Princess Flower, they call it, how appropriate for one as regal as you. I pluck several and notice how the color reflects the lovely azure of your eyes. Then, in an instant the world changes. From out of no where a colossal spray of dark chilled water splatters violently across the length of this vibrant lake, and from within the mist appears the head of a creature of the dark. It is the boatman. Ivory and blue with sheens of metallic luster it glimmers in the fading light bellowing forth a disconcerting roar. Brilliant bright eyes flash warnings to you as its awkward bulky body moves ever closer. You seem to have no fear of the creature and you raise your hand spreading your slender fingers, seemingly beckoning it forth. You look directly at me, glimmering eyes shining, and I see your full lips whisper as It slowly approaches you, and you bow slightly. Then without another word you step upon its back and it slowly turns and disappears back into the mist from which it came.
As these events unfolded I am left confused and bewildered. Just as I have found you, envisioned the possibilities of you and I, you are taken from me and my heart is frozen once again. Like a vision you were there, then as quickly gone. Did I just imagine you? Were you only a beautiful spot before my eyes, a puff of evening mist enticing a lonely sailor? No! you were real, at least as real as the ephemeral petals of the flowers I still held in my hand. I steeled my will and determined that I would find you.

Long days pass as I leave the lake behind and follow the rivers to who knows where. Eating little and journeying well into the dark each night, I search for signs of you. Your passing could not go unnoticed and with few inquiries along the way you are easy to follow, perhaps too easy. It is as if you are leaving a trail for me. The beast you ride upon is not one of stealth. Through village after village I hear the tale of the floating monster and the beautiful witch. One cool morning as I stop and splash water from the river on me face I notice a great sheen shimmering on the edge of the bank. It is the fresh leavings from the creature. He is near. You are near. I take stock of my meager provisions noting the ineffectiveness of my small weapons against a demon such as the one you are with. For the first time I allow myself to contemplate the precarious situation in which I have found myself, the beautiful lady held captive by a monster, and me, with little food and meaningless defenses. I move slowly upstream without a clue as to a plan for freeing the lady.
The river meanders gently through the emerald forest of towering water grasses that obscure its bank. I push through the reeds and carefully move up river. Minutes weigh heavy into hours. As the evening grows close, the sun's light winks through misty skies and shimmering gleams of metallic light reflect off of the body of the beast as I spy it in the distance. Carefully and slowly I make my way ever closer to the unmoving monster. As I draw near I see you sitting on its back, head in hands, gently weeping. I shake the weeds in front of me to get your attention, the demon unmoving. You look up and I wave to you. A smile crosses your face when you see me and you motion for me to be quiet. You very cautiously make your way down from the back of the creature on to the sand along the shore. Taking my hand you lead me deeper into the weeds.
"The beast is asleep," you whisper. "Do not wake him or it will be the end for both of us."
"Then let us leave quickly before he awakens," I respond, but you shake your head.
Smiling sarcastically, your squinting eyes blaze with sapphire flames. "Silly man, if it were so simple why would I have remained this long? The water demon has bound his magic to mine and if I stray too far it will wither to nothing and the flame of my life will flicker out." You turned away from me facing back toward the river and shaking your head. "No, there is but one way to escape this fate. You must retrace your steps. Back to the lake where the monster bound us. Around the lagoon where the waves meet the land is a flower that grows as blue as the deepest waters of the lake. It is called the Princess Flower. With it I can make a potion that will break the spell." You again faced me.
"I know this flower," I say.
"Good," you respond. "You should be on your way then. I fear I have little time left before his power grows too strong and he consumes me. I do not need many but they will have to dry before I can use them. They must be fresh but in powder form or they will not be effective. Please hurry." You urged me on by gently pushing against my shoulder.
"I don't know how fresh you need these flowers," I say stopping and reaching my hand in my pocket, "but, I picked these for you on the day I first saw you. Pulling my hand from my pocket I open it to reveal a fist full of desiccated Princess Flowers.
As I turned back toward you, you glared at me, then, realizing what I was holding, your eyes grew large as you looked into my hand.
"Oh...," you fumbled for my name.
"Radulf," I prompted.
"Yes, Radulf, you wonderful man," she smiled pure sunshine. "That will do nicely." You cupped your hands in front of you and instructed me to crush the petals in to as fine a powder as I could. I did as you instructed and let the powder drift in to your waiting hands. The blue of the dust was beautiful against your lustrous white skin.
"Good, good, that should be enough. Now, we need something to bind it. Yes, behind you, the white reed, break it and let the sap run in to my hands." I did as you instructed. The liquid dripped from the stem creating little puffs of blue that drifted lazily into the air as you mixed the two in to a creamy paste. "Now, give me your salt."
"My salt?" I questioned. "I have no salt."
"What? Don't you season your food?" She asked gruffly looking around as if she would find a block of salt laying in the weeds.
"Yes," I replied but I used the last of it days ago while I was looking for you.
"Not even a few grains? I do not need much."
I removed the small leather pouch where I keep my rock of salt and turned it inside out carefully catching the four or five grains left inside of it. I gave them to you. Holding the gooey blue ball in your left hand you began to chant as you carefully sprinkled the few grains of salt from your right onto the sagging orb. As each one hit for an instant it glowed like a bright star and quickly burnt out.
"It's not enough," you said, frustration and at least a little fear in your voice.
Quickly thinking, "Wait, give me a moment," I said. Looking around I spied a grass with a whitish film on the stems. Without hesitation I removed my knife and cut several stems scraping the white substance into my palm. You looked at me with a quizzical glance. "Salt," I said. "At least salty." I pressed my finger to my hand and held it out for your inspection. You leaned forward touching your tongue to my finger tip, realizing the intimacy of what you were doing a smile crossed your lips. Satisfied that indeed it was salt, you hurriedly took the crystals from my hand and sprinkled them over the blue substance, each one flashing as it hit its mark, your chant musical and full. The indigo ball glowed for a moment and your chanting stopped, your eyes bright.
"It is done." You looked at me and then at the discarded weeds. I saw the question in your eyes.
"Salt grass," I offered.
You walked past me. "Smarter than I thought," you breathed then stopped abruptly, as if listening. "It's awake!" Turning back toward the river you told me to keep quiet and stay where I was. I protested but your words left no room for decent. Wrapping the ball in a leaf you started toward the river.
"At least tell me your name."
You looked back at me your eyes probing mine, "Perhaps if we make it through this."
I did as you asked and hid myself in the reeds listening to your movements. In short order the beast let out a horrible bellow and I heard you reply that you had just gone to relieve yourself. Careful to keep hidden, I moved closer. Through the jumbled stalks I could see you climb again on to its metallic scales. I watched as you moved along the spine of the beast dropping small bits of the poultice the length of the monsters back. As you turned toward me I saw your lips moving soundlessly. In one long convulsion the demon screamed and threw you from its back. You landed in the water. I rushed out and dragged you to shore not knowing if you were dead or alive. When I pulled you through the weeds and placed you on the bank, you were dazed and disoriented. Slowly your eyes began to focus and move from side to side taking in your surroundings, finally stopping on my face. You reached up and touched my cheek.
"Rochellyn," you whispered.

"Are you injured?" I asked.
Your eyes closed as you assessed your condition. "I am well," you responded and smiled at me. "The spell has been broken."
"Can we leave, NOW?" I enquired sarcastically.
You smiled, "Yes quickly."
I helped you to your feet and we were off as rapidly as we could move to put distance between us and the river. For the next several hours we continued moving, keeping a fast pace and talking only briefly. As night fell we found a suitable place to make camp. Using my meager provisions and what little we could scavenge, we made ourselves as comfortable as possible and had a small meal of mostly berries that we picked along the way. There was little need of a fire but I gathered wood and made one anyway. While gathering the dried sticks I picked a small flower which later I laid on your blanket before you turned in that night. This action became a ritual I practiced every few nights throughout our journey. A little piece of me that I offered to you. Never did you mention them but often I found you wearing them in your beautiful brown hair. You told me about you that night and how your journeys lead you to the lake where I first saw you. You said you had been traveling for many cycles of the moon and you were on your way back to the Land of the Springs and the Lake of the Village where you called home when the creature appeared. He felt your magic and wanted to take it from you. No mention was made about me leaving nor did I intend to leave you.
We slept through the night and in the morning set off on an amazing journey to get you home, watching the moon grow full more than five times before it came to an end. We fought our way through forests at the foot of the Scandaval Mountains, the trees filled with trolls, and outwitted the Ice Sorceress at the top of Nor Peak. We were amazed by the melons that were as tall as a man and the tomatoes as large as your head that were grown by the giants in the kingdom known only as the The Land. We touched the sand along the shore of the Great Sea where we heard fish sing and saw all manner of sea creatures playing in the crystal water. We laughed and sang. We ate and drank, and held serious council about life and the future. Words I believe now you regret sharing with me.
One evening as we sat in a drafty tavern called the Cold Spot we had both drank a bit too much and I shared my feelings about you. Your smile disappeared, you stood up and headed for the door. As we walked into the cool of the night I touched your arm and you stopped. Walking around you, I noticed your eyes glass over as if tears were filling them. You reached out and wrapped me in your warm embrace laying your head against my chest. I held you for just a moment when you pushed me away.
"This can not be Radulf."
In a vain attempt to lighten your spirit I chuckled and said, "It can if you will it."
Your response was immediate and cold, "No! It cannot! I am betrothed. He is of the Adventurer's Clan in the kingdom bordering the Land of the Springs. He is called Lenbrayden Ozturk, and I must keep my promise to him."
You strode off into the night and neither of us spoke of this again through the rest of our journey.

The last night you shared with me I'll never forget. We neared the lake that was the gateway to your world. When we reached the village of Krisprimry during the festival of Percan you were expected, and greeted like a princess. Food and drink of every kind was laid before you to celebrate the arrival of the season of plenty. The villagers saw your arrival as a good omen, and I was happy, for you're sunlit smile warmed me. We sat closely together, you touching my arm, stroking my hair, gazing into my eyes and smiling, always smiling. As the night faded into early morning and the celebrants slowly, one by one, passed into inebriated slumber we embarked on a short journey to the cottage that we had been given for the evening. Thatched roof silhouetted against the moonlit night grew clearer as we grew closer, your head upon my shoulder throughout the ride. When the horse came to a stop we thanked the driver, stepped out and watched as the horse cart rattled into the distance. Standing before the cottage door, I gazed again into your longing eyes but your emotions had changed. Sadness seemed to fill them. I leaned forward to kiss you and you turned away.
"I'm sorry, I thought...," I babbled. You leaned against the door and glanced back at me.
"You don't understand," you said.
"Please, help me to Rochellyn, I know you are betrothed to Lenbrayden and you love him, but I can't help my feelings for you."
"Your feelings are not true," you whispered. I looked at you bewildered. You very slowly raised your left hand into the air and spread your fingers. Your eyes peered deeply into mine as you started to chant. "Release, release the enchantment upon this brave soul. Release this bond of false passion. Release these feelings I control."
I watched as your eyes radiated a glimmer of light. My head began to spin and I leaned against the wall.
"It wasn't you. The feelings I mean. They were me. It was an enchantment I cast upon you before the beast took me. You were my only hope." Your words filled me as I stood glaring at you. Tears filled your eyes and traced lines of sorrow down your soft cheeks.

I turned and walked back to the village where I remained that night. I knew you planned to leave in the morning and I did not intend to see you again. The boat would come at dawn to pick you up. I slept in a barn and woke early. I was confused. I couldn't understand what happened the night before nor could I shake these feelings. Most of the town was still sleeping when I walked out on to the street. A small group had gathered near the docks and were beginning to disband. I assumed that the boat was ready to get underway. Turning away I started down the dirt street tripping over the thorny vine of a rose bush. Looking down I noticed a wet patch form on my pants leg where the thorns bit into my skin. In front of me I saw the most perfectly shaped red rose bud held out on a stem as if the bush was offering it to me in supplication. I plucked it. Then I found myself heading back in the direction of the dock.
The boat was loaded by the time I stepped on to the old wooden pier. The water sloshed against the pylons that supported the structure and I listened to the sound of the boat gently slapping against the wooden planks. You stood on the deck of the small craft a bulky sentinel standing close guard beside you. From your description it had to be Lenbrayden. I hesitated at the top of the dock wondering what I was doing. I leaned against the rail, careful not to push too hard for fear of falling in the water, knowing I had nothing to offer you. She would be better off without me, kept running through my mind, leave before she sees you. The rose I still held between my fingers. Twirling it slowly I admired the perfection of its petals and inhaled it's delicate fragrance. I carefully placed it on the wooden rail before me and as I looked up I saw you gliding toward me, Lenbrayden following your every step with his gaze. You stopped only a breath away from me, your perfumed skin glowing in the morning dew, your smile hesitant and full of trepidation.
"I feel sorrow for what I have done to you, Radulf, but I felt I had no choice. If this is any consolation to you, I have grown to care for you greatly, even though your feelings for me are no longer there. You will always be my friend and I will miss you more than I can say."
I slid the rose in front of you, "You believe your spell is why I feel so strongly for you, but my feelings are still there, Beautiful Lady. They will always be there. It wasn't your magic. It was, and remains, my choice to care for you. It was my love that cast the spell."
You looked down at the rose, your blushing crimson lips reflected in the color of its petals, then looking back at me, eyes widened in surprise, an unshed tear glistened in your eye. Sadly, without a word you turned away leaving the blossom untouched on the rail. As you mounted the gang way to board the boat you briefly glanced back at me, a distinct look of pity and, perhaps, regret etched upon your exquisite face. I peered again at the flower, its stem green and smooth where I removed the thorns so they would not prick your delicate fingers. The scarlet color seemed to mock my blood for removing the thorns did little to stop them from piercing my heart.

04/10/2017

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