Never strike a child in anger. When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he is recuperating from the measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday.
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They were big and little creatures. Some were hairy with long, thin tails, and some had noses long as pokers. Some had bulging eyes and some had 20 toes. In they came -- crashing through the door, sliding down the chimney, crawling through the windows. They shouted and cried. They banged pots and pans. They twirled their tails and tapped their toes upon the wooden floor. He watched as the trolls gobbled the food and threw the plates and drank everything in sight. They continued to shout and scream, to scratch the walls and pound the floors and slap their tails upon the table. The tiny trolls were the worst of all. They screamed at the top of their lungs and pulled each others' tails.
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Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.
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Why slap them on the wrist with feather when you can belt them over the head with a sledgehammer.
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Actually, my favourite roles have been in theatre, but on TV, my faves were Slap Maxwell and Larry Sanders.
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Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap the mother f*cker in the head.
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If you must strike a man from behind, slap hi on the back.
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No one to slap his head.
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