If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask Do they get smart just in time to ask questions
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There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as 'nutty methods.' Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as 'a complete waste of time.'
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There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as 'nutty methods.' Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as a complete waste of time.
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There's a fine line between participation and mockery.
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I believe everyody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
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Men want sex. If men ruled the world, they could get sex anywhere, anytime. Restaurants would give you sex instead of breath mints on the way out. Gas stations would give sex with every fill-up. Banks would give sex to anyone who opened a checking account.
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I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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It's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational.
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The Dilbert Principle The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage--Management.
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Technology: No Place for Wimps!
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Dance like it hurts, love like you need money, work when people are watching you.
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You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.
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Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
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Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: Management.
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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
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We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
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The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
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Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep
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No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.
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Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
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No matter how smart you are, you spend most of your day being an idiot.
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The best things in life are silly.
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