'Against his better judgment, the big game hunter is talked into taking both his wife AND her mother along on one of his expeditions. It does not go well. The mother-in-law is, if anything, harder to get along with in the wilds than she was in the city. And to make matters worse, she won't even abide by the simple camp rules designed to keep the safari safe. One night after dinner, the hunter's wife realizes her mother is missing. Panicked, she rushes to her husband and begs him to institute a search. He sighs, and together they set out. But before they've gone far, they hear throaty growling. Soon they come upon a small clearing in which the mother-in-law stands, backed up against thick, seemingly impenetrable jungle brush, and facing a huge male lion. The wife whispers urgently, 'What are we going to do?' 'Nothing,' responds her husband. 'The lion got himself into this mess, now let him get himself out of it.''
|
'Against his better judgment, the big game hunter is talked into taking both his wife AND her mother along on one of his expeditions. It does not go well. The mother-in-law is, if anything, harder to get along with in the wilds than she was in the city. And to make matters worse, she won't even abide by the simple camp rules designed to keep the safari safe. One night after dinner, the hunter's wife realizes her mother is missing. Panicked, she rushes to her husband and begs him to institute a search. He sighs, and together they set out. But before they've gone far, they hear throaty growling. Soon they come upon a small clearing in which the mother-in-law stands, backed up against thick, seemingly impenetrable jungle brush, and facing a huge male lion. The wife whispers urgently, 'What are we going to do?' 'Nothing,' responds her husband. 'The lion got himself into this mess, now let him get himself out of it.''
|
We are astonished and devastated to learn of the hidden life of Neil Entwistle. We never suspected that Neil was anything other than a loving father, a trusted son-in-law and a husband.
|
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
|
My sister and brother-in-law started the ministry in memory of my nephew, ... Because it's my nephew, I have a very emotional tie to the ministry. You just can't get a better story for feeding hungry children.
|
The same person has come to Me seeking success at the examination, then a job, then a father-in-law, then a child, then a rise in the salary, a transfer in a cheaper place and a seat in the Medical College for his son - a never ending series of wants, until at last he comes seeking My Grace for an end to worldly pursuits and for initiation into the path of spirituality.
|
Well, Secretary Ridge would have to speak for himself, but from my experience, you had someone who's got a history in law enforcement just looking at it from the standpoint, 'My goodness, we got intelligence here, we've got to raise the threat level.' But the Homeland Security has to consider, first of all, 'How does the public react to this? Does it measure up to the standards of credibility? Is it something that we can act upon with an appropriate response?' And, quite frankly, sometimes we realized the public couldn't do anything or law enforcement couldn't do anything. There was a push back saying, 'I don't know that we need to create the fear in the American public.' And, in fact, as you can see, as we got more experienced, the number of times we increased the threat level decreased in '04 as compared to '03. I believe it was four times or three times in '03. We reduced that by half in '04. And I think that's just experience getting better at it.
|
Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.
|
As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still unimpeachable. The judges' decisions based on it were sound in logic and in law. Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death. If there were no witches, human testimony and human reason are alike destitute of value.
|
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
|
Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.
|
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.
|
As one whose husband and mother-in-law have both died the victims of murder assassination, I stand firmly and unequivocally opposed to the death penalty for those convicted of capital offenses. An evil deed is not redeemed by an evil deed of retaliation. Justice is never advanced in the taking of a human life. Morality is never upheld by legalized murder.
|
Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
|
All my brothers, my brothers-in-law, they're always telling me what a good-hearted guy I am. You don't get to be good-hearted by accident. You...
|
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
|
Neurotic means he is not as sensible as I am, and psychotic means he's even worse than my brother-in-law.
|
To have one's mother-in-law in the country when one lives in Paris, and vice versa, is one of those strokes of luck that one encounters only t...
|
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
|
The innkeeper loves a drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
|
Anagrams:
Dormitory = Dirty Room Evangelist = Evil's Agent Desperation = A Rope Ends It The Morse Code = Here Come Dots Slot Machines = Cash Lots in 'em Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler Snooze Alarm = Alas! No More Z's A Decimal Point = I'm a Dot in Place Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one
|
We do not want the men of another color for our brothers-in-law, but we do want them for our brothers.
|
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
|
No mother-in-law ever remembers that she was once a daughter-in-law.
|
I know a mother-in-law who sleeps with her glasses on, the better to see her son-in-law suffer in her dreams.
|
Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
|
Our defense is not in our armaments, nor in science, nor in going underground. Our defense is in law and order.
|
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the hell off my property.
|
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in
|
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law
|