The humorous man recognizes that absolute purity, absolute justice, absolute logic and perfection are beyond human achievement and that men have been able to live happily for thousands of years in a state of genial frailty.
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Quite a nasty piece of work. Not the sort of person you'd want to have dinner with. On the subject of Mr. Bean
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We cheerfully assume that in some mystic way love conquers all, that good outweighs evil in the just balances of the universe and at the 11th hour something gloriously triumphant will prevent the worst before it happens.
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In every age 'the good old days' were a myth. No one ever thought they were good at the time. For every age has consisted of crises that seemed intolerable to the people who lived through them.
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Thank God for competition. When our competitors upset our plans or outdo our designs, they open infinite possibilities of our own work to us.
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Don't condescend to unskilled labor. Try it for half a day first.
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It takes most men five years to recover from a college education, and to learn that poetry is as vital to thinking as knowledge.
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The perfect bureaucrat everywhere is the man who manages to make no decisions and escape all responsibility.
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As I was leaving this morning, I said to myself 'the last thing you must do is forget your speech.' And sure enough, as I left the house this morning, the last thing I did was to forget my speech.
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Life is one of those things that most of us find very difficult to avoid.
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The missus says that if someone in the street doesn’t recognise me, I go back and tell them who I am.
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The prostitute is the only honest woman left in America.
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If you don't run your own life, somebody else will.
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