Get Your Premium Membership

Poetry Forum

home recent topics recent posts search faq

Poetry Forum. A poetry forum dedicated strictly to poetry. Poets can use this poetry forum for poetry workshops, sharing poetic techniques, discussing aspects of poetry, poetry publishing, and the poetry industry. Poetry forum members can enter poetry contests, post poems, and participate in the #1 poetry community on the internet.

Community Soup Bowl
New to PoetrySoup? Introduce yourself here. Tell us something about yourself.
Latest post
2/11/2020 7:42 PM - Alison Hodges
How do I...?
Ask PoetrySoup Members how to do something or find something on PoetrySoup.
Latest post
2/25/2020 9:32 PM - ngaire patiole
PoetrySoup Notes
Info and comments from the PoetrySoup Team.
Latest post
5/5/2019 5:04 PM - KEITH DODRILL
Collaborate on a poem or external project.
Latest post
Poetry Critique
Be Gentle
Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
Latest post
2/16/2020 3:08 PM - Alison Hodges
High Critique
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
Latest post
2/26/2020 11:06 PM - Bob Atkinson
Poem Editing and Help
Do you need help editing a poem? Maybe English isn't your first language. Post poems or request help with a poem or english here.
Latest post
2/21/2020 9:56 AM - Hookup guru
Poetry Talk
Writing Poetry
Ways to improve your poetry. Post your techniques, tips, and creative ideas how to write better.
Latest post
2/24/2020 4:47 AM - Realmailorder bride
Poetry Everything
Discuss your favorite poems, poets, and poetry books - analysis, ideas, hidden meanings, random thoughts, etc.
Latest post
2/26/2020 2:40 AM - Mike Hunt
Looking for a Poem
Can't find a poem you've heard once? Looking for a poem for a special person or an occasion? Ask other member for help.
Latest post
12/14/2019 7:41 PM - Michael Painter
Outside the Bowl
Post information about other useful poetry related websites and contests. Also report poetry scams.
Latest post
Non-Poetry Talk
Love and Romance
Don't Post Poetry Here!!! Seeking relationship advice, romantic ideas or just want to express your feeling - Post Here!
Latest post
9/13/2019 3:52 PM - Jack Webster
Fun and humor
Don't Post Poetry Here!!! Everything to make us smile - anecdotes, stories, fun things to do, etc. But NOT Poetry.
Latest post
2/25/2020 6:29 AM - Bright brides
I just need to talk...
Don't Post Poetry Here!!! Talk about anything or need a shoulder to cry on? Share your thoughts and emotions here:
Latest post
2/12/2020 3:07 AM - kurtis Steigmann
Know of any good publishers? Tell us about them here.
Latest post
How to...
Have you published a book. Tell others how you did it.
Latest post
How do I do it myself?
Latest post
2/9/2020 6:50 PM - Leon Stevens
My Book(s)
Are you a published poet? If so, tell us about your book.
Latest post

What's going on
Forum users online 1   Forum members online 0   Forum guests 1

Threads 4330   Posts 7676   Forum members 58589

Recent posts
2/26/2020 11:06:33 PM
Toleration - by - Bob Atkinson

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 246

by Bob Atkinson

Pierre (Bayle) believed in absolute

simplicity in this world

no dictatorial attitude

to make mankind serve

serve those in current power

a used religious ritual

to hypnotize one’s trust

or politicians using media

for hypnosis of the weak

lies, deceptions thrown upon us

like truth without much meat

an inquisition designed to enslave

masses toward a deity

which may or not lie absolute

in formal competitive history

with others of a like purpose

who chose a different master

a wicked search for simple power

which results always in disaster

take arguments with great caution

for those methods procreated

within the minds of mortal men

have caused humanity’s enslavement

“…kill you if you don’t agree

in our method for distrust

of anyone who doesn’t follow

our plan for life’s engulfment ...”

“…torture those who don’t believe?

well that’s not an immoral act

we’ll kill you hands down for non-belief

as we the righteous react….”

inquisition was a tool

to gather wealth not earned

merely confiscated with violence

like with taxes our lives burned

with promises never kept

as only promises are free

everything else needs repayment

usually by loss of freedom

they react to those who don’t believe

in what elite espouses

unbelievers branded as dirty souls

so rational argument’s abandoned

what an absurd form of organization

to be immoral when

one condemns opposition

with such aviolent hand

we as true believers

where belief wasn’t real

found adherence to a plan

brought to us with so much zeal

wow, these represent pseudo-truths

of those who would gain power

over fellow men with

immorality shot like an arrow

sounds like current politics?

‘tis only repeat of rotten tactics

professed by religious orders

which never showed who their master

a group of elite men

who found with ritual hypnosis

anything desiredto be at hand

in their power hungry process

thank goodness people now see

how this process repeats its folly

a simple solution to evolution

let not our minds be turned to jelly

let not us be lied to again

as in humanity’s past

where enslavement by government

and religion wasn’t by chance

was deviousness of elites

who shoved these ideals down

our throats into our hearts and

threw away moral enhancement

or advancement of the soul of man

to where civilization could be claimed

while now we fight our brothers

because of morality drained

drained by those whose fictions devise

plans to enslave us in our beds

keeping freedom from progressing

with nonsense shoved into our heads
2/26/2020 2:40:54 AM
What is your style?

Mike Hunt
Posts: 1
Creative prose is my favourite one.
edited by MikeHunt on 2/26/2020
2/25/2020 9:32:45 PM
how do I post my poems?

ngaire patiole
Posts: 1
How is this done
2/25/2020 6:29:08 AM
Workin' Is For Chumps!

Bright brides
Posts: 1
2/24/2020 4:47:18 AM
Has anyone else had poetry deleted by PoetrySoup?

Realmailorder bride
Posts: 1
2/22/2020 9:41:19 AM
It Happened Again

Posts: 2
Thank you for your critique and suggestions! I shall take advantage of them when editing this poem. I appreciate it very much!
2/21/2020 11:52:23 AM
how do I post my poems?

Kathryn Sweeney
Posts: 1
How do you post a poem?
2/21/2020 9:56:23 AM

Hookup guru
Posts: 1
2/20/2020 10:54:56 PM
It Happened Again

Jack Webster
Posts: 215
I love its uncontrived depth. I imagine you are a devotee of sonnets as your volta is very strong even in free verse.

I recently heard a talk by a Buddhist teacher distinguishing the difference between excitement and happiness. Your poem was really such a strong illustration of that; the fact that excitement is built on impermenant things that jazz us up in the moment, but dont really give us a sense of purpose or a feeling of fulfillment the way altruism can.

I think the line “years go by” is redundant, because your sensory descriptions of the changes in the face show and imply the passage of time, as does the line about others stopping the weekend ritual.

There is so much truth in this dukkha. I think it would fun to turn it into a journey, a series of poems, embraccing the reality of that dissatisfaction

Sometimes the thought that maybe i havent partied enough or had enough excitement in my life haunts me, so there is actually some comfort for me in this poem, that it might have added some color to my life but that happiness isnt dependent on having it or having had it. Its so easy for our confusions and attachments to torment us, but at the end of the day an open heart is more powerful than where we’ve been or where we think we’re headed.

There’s so much truth in the dukkha expressed in this poem. It would be fun to see it turned into a series of poems, a journey, an exercise in mindfulness of the disatisfaction - not wallowing, just self-journalism, watching, feeling, recording; embracing the disatisfaction by making a space that wants a happiness that is here to stay
2/20/2020 6:09:21 PM
It Happened Again

Posts: 2
A high school party
Bright colours and backwards hats
Lighting smokes
Around a bon fire
Hidden by silhouettes of trees.
The intoxicating sips are an adventurous feeling.
The girls get loose
And the guys get loud.
Fist fights
And smiles.
The hangover in the morning
Recalls the joyous memories of the night,
And begs for another round.
Every weekend is another blast
More drinks and more girls,
Maybe more drugs.

Years have passed,
The weekend rituals have etched
Tired lines in a sunken pale face.
That goes to work each week
To recover last week’s spent cheque.
And comes home to be

Another night with no purpose
Feeling diseased.
Whether at the bar or dim living room.
Surrounded by a new crowd.
The frequent drinks
Are an exhausting routine.
The wise ones have stopped the weekend ritual
Before their youth drowned out.
Feeling tired and beaten
The hangovers in the mornings
Are a painful reminder.
You did it again,
You haven’t stopped.
Maybe next week.I've been working on a few iambic pentameter poems and wrote this free verse the other day just to give my brain a break. I've combed over it a few times, but looking for more suggestions on what to edit or how to improve.
2/16/2020 3:08:47 PM
Funeral Pyre - HELP!

Alison Hodges
Posts: 6
I'm trying out a more structured form for my poetry, but I feel it lost it's flow. Please tell me what would make this a better poem.

Funeral Pyre

Living inthe creek’s dark caverns.
his dwelling then had been foretold
by fairytales on nights so cold.
A promise of the things to come
were all that kept the fires fed.

Living in the creek side village,
her place was clear within the clan
to bind her with this darkened man.
to brave his ire and heal his wounds
with love’s laughter and lullabies

Raised from birth to play a lead role.
Her path was clear, her marriage set,
a passive life, a quiet death.
All was foretold when she was young
At village fires and children’s beds

She’d sat awaiting years and years.
Shortly before the marriage day,
a woman came from far away.
Her tale of women taking stands
and shunning the foreteller’s words.

The lady, she was not convinced,
By love she vowed to seize her place
and heal the man with love’s embrace
thus, avoiding the funeral pyre
Dreamers dream, they usually lose.
edited by Ananda on 2/18/2020
2/16/2020 1:04:59 AM
how to make words in bold font

Krish Radhakrishna
Posts: 2
I use the box below for which allows us to put in notes to highlight the text. Why can’t we use the same box above. Would make life easier
2/13/2020 9:48:38 PM
Please give me feedback

Alison Hodges
Posts: 6
I'm going back to have another go at it …. at least I'm at the starting line and not 6 yards behind it!
2/13/2020 9:37:25 PM
For your consideration

Alison Hodges
Posts: 6
Spring Afternoon

The wind among the trees,

the sun behind a cloud.

A peaceful day in my backyard

is where my soul is found.

It may not be too large,

for fences it enclose

but my whole world waits for me there

for worries there run slow.

Leaves in sunlight shimmer,

the cardinal spreads it’s wings,

the day frolics among the leaves,

a garden cricket sings.

Flowers aren’t yet blooming

but summer’s drawing near.

It gently whispers on the wind

right there, beneath my ear.
edited by Ananda on 2/13/2020
2/13/2020 10:39:27 AM
Please give me feedback

Jack Webster
Posts: 215
Ananda, now,
all searching done,
has only reached the beginning,
yet still a self that finds or fails
leaves all the cycles spinning.

A heap of snow beneath the sky
is still a gathered heap,
even if the sky’s not named
with ordinary speech.

Triumphant self, still yet to melt
and vanish on the wind.
No victor left to find or fail;
Into with the sky reblend.

Ananda, now,
all searching done,
anatta, anatta, anatta.
2/12/2020 11:05:03 AM
Please give me feedback

Alison Hodges
Posts: 6
The Search

This is what I was born to
Dancing on a whim,
Foraging in the earth,
Tied not by father’s science or mother’s nurture
Bound not by head or by heart, free from all constraints

An earthy fullness, lightened by the earthworm’s macerations
The essence that words cannot hold for more than a moment
That which flickers between the edges and won’t be named

This is where I live
This is where my soul is nourished and my voice is found
Between the quavering
Intermingling with the stars and sky
The mundaneand the holy

A place that man cannot know
Friends canonly sense
That is where I abide
Its essencefeeds me

If I name it
– It vanishes
I simply breathe it in and release its passion with eachbreath
Stirring the spirits of those around me who feel its whisperupon their neck
2/12/2020 7:26:30 AM
All That Was Lost

Sam VanHook
Posts: 1
I'm tired of trying, tired of crying
Deep down inside you knew I've been dying
Im honest with you, I'm not even lying
But my dedication to you was the only thing you're fighting
I loved your face, I loved your laugh
I adored your eyes, how you would look back
Smile, hug, and tell me it's all okay
But suddenly you left me at the end of the day
A final goodbye I hadn't the chance to say
Cause all you were doing was pushing me away
I became your enemy, on you features a snarl
Every single time we talked; a quiet quarrel
I never expected you wanting it this way
Not wanting me to stick around, or to stay
I regret trusting you, I abhor your attitude
Your anger and deception was really quite rude
At the same time, I wanted you to say
Oh, my dear lover, my love towards you isn't a game
I pushed back, I struggled, I raged and I fought
The feelings and emotions and inside that you taught
The tears of misery, the shame on your face
Was all just an act, calling me a waste
I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry to say goodbye
But all in all, you don't care, so why should I?
2/12/2020 3:11:49 AM
Read my first poem

kurtis Steigmann
Posts: 2
please read my first poem and give me feedback.
2/12/2020 3:07:23 AM

kurtis Steigmann
Posts: 2
No!!!! I am a teen, remember poetry is for anyone who enjoys this beautiful art form.
2/11/2020 7:42:04 PM
Good Evening from Kansas

Alison Hodges
Posts: 6
Hello fellow poetry lovers! I just joined last week and am excited to let people read my poems. I've been writing since the age of 10, but haven't shown my poetry to anyone after the age of 15. I am 61, so that is a long time to sit and wonder if they are any good.

I'm trying to get my guts up to post to the be kind critic area. The harder criticism area is way too scary for me right now ... may always be LOL

Anyhow … just wanted to introduce myself.

Powered by AspNetForum © 2006-2010 Jitbit Software