Writing and Attention

Blog Posted by Autumn Ehrhardt: 8/4/2011 4:06:00 PM

Often I find myself in a mini twister-- looking back and forth to see who is paying attention to my writing. It is a little weird. But art has this underlying ego embedded within. Tell me what I ache to hear. That I am doing something worthwhile. According to Charlotte Kasl this is a false view that just cycles around hopelessly. The true motivation to be worthwhile is to prove that we are not worthless. The insatiable web that spins and spins.

Once the first silken thread is spun of a worthwhile endeavor to write--a queasiness pervades. The upset to label our work as "good". A validation must be had, and in today's instant post, it should be had--immediately. Once again the need for attention grabs at my soul. Notice how these words mix I beg. It is the begging that feels awkward. It is an attachment to a validation that I should not need. A worthless quality evades. See how ridiculous it all becomes. Alas.

The irony is I will stare right back at this computer screen to see if you did pay attention to this inane blog on attention. I hold back from entering contests or even posting new works. Sometimes I don't even know why I write? Many of our mentors had to work so much harder to even have someone read his or her work. Am I worthy? Again I take a deep breathe and see the sticky web I have rolled myself up in. There is another depth of motivation to write that is not an ego fishing trip. And I set out to find it.

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Gwendolen Song

August 9, 2011 at 8:45 PM

Writing expresses our humanity and our innermost desire to connect with others...it is the God spark inside all of us. It is a way to relieve stress, to think out loud, to argue with one's self, to educate others, and in the case of Poetry Soup, to find friendship with others who love pouring the left side of their brain onto paper. Your blog is refreshing, Autumn. Gwendolen

Shani Fassbender

August 5, 2011 at 1:08 PM

Human nature and its wants and needs. I'll put a spin on an old adage...better to have written and not been read, than to have never written at all... Sometimes we need to write just for ourselves. The glory winnings of the member contests is what keeps me going...and writing... We all need an ego boost now and then, especially when it is well deserved. I'm with your daughter, you are "kewl"! And, my daughter's middle name is Love, and I am a preschool teacher. My name is pronounced shay-nee. It was nice meeting you; hope to connect more with you. Take care and just continue to be you...

Kabuteng P.Ink K.

August 5, 2011 at 12:43 PM

I really enjoyed reading this, Autumn, I sure can relate to what you say here (and you write it so eloquently, Frank was so right, you are a gem)-- We all do have varied reasons on why we write, it definitely is a constant journey and yes, validation for our poetry definitely also comes into play, too-- Sometimes I guess we write for ourselves (I mean only to be seen by ourselves), and sometimes there is that compulsion to share it--just to be heard, to be accepted... very thought provoking blog-- thank you for sharing your thoughts-- btw I said there I love your name Autumn, then I see your name is Autumn Love-- so cool...:D

Elaine George

August 5, 2011 at 8:12 AM

It take courage to write and present it to the world, but if we don't - what value or purpose does it have? Lainie

Nette Onclaud

August 5, 2011 at 3:37 AM

i feel this came at the right time for me, autumn... somehow, don't we all feel if a poem was rushed, made from a space of vanity, etc... yes, we do need an audience and in that vein, may we share who we are in a most authentic way--all sides of us taken! nice blog:) hugggs!

Nancy Jones

August 4, 2011 at 8:44 PM

I paid attention.. i hope you do some poems, 'cause i bet i'd like them... but I wouldn't like it if you got mad at me for not always paying attention to you

Vince Suzadail Jr.

August 4, 2011 at 7:23 PM

I like my stuff read and hopefully some of it will touch another. One of my favorite songs is Jolson's "Let Me Sing and I'm Happy." I feel that way about what I write. If I can make someone smile, laugh, cry or for that matter think, then I'm happy. Your blog is far from inane and it deals with the emotions of artists who, like athletes, vary from ego to ego. Vince

Carolyn Devonshire

August 4, 2011 at 7:17 PM

Autumn, unfortunately there are egos in every field of art, including poetry. If one writes for validation, they may receive it. But if one writes from their heart, then we as readers are blessed to share it. Don't stop writing; the web will soon fade into the background as you focus on work that makes you feel like you've communicated a special message. Some of the poems that mean the most to us may receive few views, but we know they're our personal favorites and that's what matters. Best wishes, carolyn