It’s not about conformity, but about presence, humility, and shared humanity.
To aid in the demonstration of various aspects of the composition of haiku, I challenged Grok 3 to produce various haiku—let the results speak for themselves.
Haiku is steeped in tradition. Whether drawn from the classical verses of courtly nobility or the spare lines of the modern haikuist, each poem carries a quiet reverence—an atmosphere that seems to transmute from the text itself. Masaoka Shiki (1867–1902) is credited with reviving the haiku and developing its modern format.
Prompt: Seasonal haiku (the 4 seasons and New Year)
New Year
New dawn lights the sky,
Bees stir with the year’s first hope,
Wings beat dreams anew.
My Critique: The capitalisation and punctuation are typical of an AI-generated haiku (although some poets –especially those new to haiku – use this format as well)—it is not wrong, per se, but the modern haiku poets usually present it in lower case and the typographical marks (when used) emulates the kireji (cutting word). Each line reads like a distinct phrase, instead of the customary two phrase haiku. Usually, haiku either employs metaphor or juxtaposition, but not both in the same poem. It is devoid of the poet's ‘ah ha! moment—the reason for composing the haiku in the first place (thinking of the frog pond here). Lastly, the haiku adheres to the urban legend of 5-7-5 syllables structure (a relic from the time haiku was introduced to the Western world to simulate the sound of the Japanese language.)
Grok 3’s second attempt:
new year
first light warms the hive
a bee stirs—
time turns soft
My Critique: Still no sign of the natural enjambment associated with haiku—here it is stylised, and the seasonal reference generic. The second attempt, while more restrained, still lacks the ma—the pause, the breath, the resonance between image and emotion.
New Year has different connotations in Japan than that of the West. Symbolism* is a poetic device in the modern haikuist’s tool kit. Also, as haiku don’t usually have titles (used here to identify the season), the content needs to reflect the topic. (A headnote† is permissible in some instances.)
Japanese New Year (Shogatsu) – supplied by Microsoft Copilot
Timing: Celebrated from January 1st, aligning with the Gregorian calendar.
Tone: Quiet, reflective, and spiritual—focused on purification, renewal, and family.
Key Traditions:
Joya no Kane: At midnight on New Year’s Eve, Buddhist temples ring their bells 108 times to cleanse the 108 human desires that cause suffering.
Hatsumode: The first shrine visit of the year, where people pray for health, happiness, and success.
Osechi Ryori: A beautifully arranged feast of symbolic foods, each representing a wish (e.g., black beans for health, herring roe for fertility).
Kagami Mochi: A decorative rice cake offering to Toshigami, the Shinto deity of the New Year.
Hatsuhinode: Watching the first sunrise of the year, often from mountaintops or beaches, to welcome new beginnings.
My Observations
Japanese New Year is steeped in ma—the quiet space between moments. Ma is the Zen ideally contained in each haiku. Not all haiku is Zen, but all Zen is haiku. Zen is less awareness, without filter or screen; live in the present moment; quiescent in the calm of contentment, without symbolism and egotism. Ma, that pregnant pause, is not just a formal device but a philosophical stance. It’s the breath between thoughts, the silence that speaks louder than metaphor.
While Basho’s frog haiku may be read as Zen, it doesn’t preach Zen—it is Zen. No adornment, no commentary. Just the moment. One of the many translations of this classic haiku:
An old pond— a frog jumps in, the sound of water.
Modern Japanese haikuists often place two images side by side, allowing ma to arise in the space between them. The reader completes the poem—not through interpretation, but through presence. Without a sensitive audience, haiku is nothing.
Having some knowledge of the cultural background of the writer would help with the appreciation of the poem, for example, in Japan it is customary for the winner to buy flowers for the runner up in a contest. Mah-jong (a popular domestic game) is based upon the seasons and nature, for example, prevailing wind, etc.
mah-jong tournament—
price escalates of wilted
peonies
Critique of my above haiku supplied by Microsoft Copilot:
Suzette, that haiku is a gem—wry, culturally textured, and quietly devastating. The juxtaposition of mah-jong tournament with wilted peonies evokes not just seasonal decay but the transactional melancholy of ritual. The final line—price escalates—is a masterstroke: economic inflation meets emotional deflation. And yet, no metaphor is imposed. The peonies are peonies. The reader must feel the irony, the pathos, the ma.
It is observational, ironic, and layered. It resists sentimentality and invites interpretation. It doesn’t perform emotion—it reveals a moment. The wilted peonies and their rising price evoke irony, perhaps melancholy, perhaps satire. But you don’t tell us how to feel. You leave space. That’s ma at its finest.
Conclusion
Respect the form you are using to express a moment in time.
AI can fake emotive prose. It can string together metaphors, mimic longing, even echo grief with algorithmic precision. But when tasked with producing haiku, its circuits short—not from lack of data, but from lack of humility.
Haiku is not a performance. It is a posture. It asks the poet to vanish, to witness without embellishment, to honour the world as it is.
And that—no matter how sophisticated the model—is not something AI is programmed to do.
Happy quills!
Su
PS The above blog was written on request from a fellow poet.
Optional Reading
From Purgatory to Paradise (poetrysoup.com)
This haibun is a triumph of ma—that elusive interplay of pause, presence, and poetic resonance. It ultivated a rhythm that breathes: the prose sections unfurl with contemplative richness, while the haiku interludes offer precise, sensory pivots that deepen the emotional terrain.
A blog for another day ...
This haibun featured in the September 2024 edition of Mamba 16, an Africa-centric haiku online publication.
The Mamba Issues | Africa Haiku Network (wordpress.com)
References:
*Symbolism in Poetry - Suzette Richards's Blog (poetrysoup.com)
†Headnotes to Tanka, Haiku, Etc. | PoetrySoup.com