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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY ??

Blog Posted:5/12/2013 7:48:00 PM


She just hoped she wouldn't die alone but made sure to leave her door unlocked so someone, anyone would find her...



I wonder if there is a definition for the words FORGOTTEN MOTHER....if not I was thinking to add to all the dictionaries of the World – Your Definition...and mine...


Sometimes I wonder if I am one of those mothers or heading in that direction..

I met a mother in her 80's who was upset she was hungry again that day as she was struck by poverty. Her son was building his second house somewhere but he never bothered to ask Mom if she was OK..

I met a mother in her 70's, she had three daughters whom she raised all alone but none of them gave her shelter in time of need.

Another “species” of ungrateful grown up children are the ones who do not invite their own mothers to their wedding ceremony just because the bride-to-be does not want them there...or else...

A mother was served Court papers by her own son, a restraining order signed by his future wife – a practical way to get rid of his dedicated and gentle Mom. Even the Judge asked the son if he was mistaken and if he was on the wrong side of the room being with that girl. He was just 19...That case was dismissed...but he still...forgot his Mom.

In one case I just could not understand why this certain Mom just detached herself totally from her son. I found out that she sold her house,car, neglected her spouse, everything... so the child could have a second chance to life: a heart transplant...in Paris. I met him at a party decades after his operation and I offered my condolences. He looked at me very surprised with question marks on his grin...Someone else added: “ your Mom...we regret her passing...”

The now grown and well-dressed son took a whole bottle of whiskey, went upstairs, locked himself in the closed and, in a fetal position, he started crying like a baby, held lovingly by ...no one. “I did not know, I did not know!!!!” Now it was too late to be held and loved...

We are getting so busy with little things as if they are so very important that we don't notice Mom's hair being different in the photos a relative happened to send us. We have all those up-to-date “communication devices” but Mom is not on our list of important numbers or any numbers...

If you read this then I am asking you to stop your busy schedule in the next hour (whatever that might be) sit down and...call your Mom and pray she might still be answering that phone..


***

She just hoped she wouldn't die alone but made sure to leave her door unlocked so someone, anyone who could find her...

Some neighbors found her in her bed, with the pictures of her children locked into the stiffness of regrets...

A definition for the term: FORGOTTEN MOTHER is in your hands now...


















Iolanda
scripca@aol.com



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Date: 5/13/2013 1:34:00 PM
Iolanda, I truly can't answer that. As a mother to a four year old, I hope that the parent/child relationship will be strong and hold, but I can only do my best. I think that it is a mistake to "dedicate your (entire) life to a child." I am the best mother that I can be, but even though my daughter is only four, she already has been told, by me, that I have feelings, too, and that my needs are equal to hers. She knows adults cry, can get hurt. She knows I love her from the top of her head to the tip of her toes. I would hope that the lines of communication will stay open, that I can turn to her and say, "Yo, its been a while. Have lunch with me. I miss you," should I need to. As for why a child who was raised to have empathy and understand that all relationships require mutual respect, then some of the problems may be a misunderstanding that was never cleared... and perhaps a heart to heart is needed. Other reasons? Emotional immaturity, selfishness, a secret being kept that they do not want to disclose and some young adults do not understand the concept of time, how short a life truly is. They think, mom's fine, there's always tomorrow... not right, and very very sad. Time will catch up to them and they will regret not having a better relationship with their parents and face guilt upon their death. Sorry for the heaviness. Hugs... must go!
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Date: 5/13/2013 11:00:00 AM
My Mom died with a room full of visitors. Her children and grandchildren.I was afraid the hospital staff might throw some of us out. Everyone of them thought she or he was Mom's favorite. I don't understand the lack of love in families. Joyce
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Date: 5/13/2013 10:35:00 AM
forgotten mothers. A sadful thought.SandyIvy
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Date: 5/13/2013 5:55:00 AM
Iolanda, Hello! I understand your blog, and yes, this does happen, but, unfortunately, sometimes this treatment was brought on by abuse. My mom took her own life and despite a VERY dysfunctional upbringing, I did visit her weekly, and spoke to her on the phone several times a week. My husband's father also suffered and still suffers with mental illness. He was also a drinker and abused his wife and children. One of my husbands cheerful Christmas memories was his father removing his mother's teeth with a fist... at the dinner table. His mother abandoned him and his two sisters in grade school. She passed away when he was 18. She had severed all contact. His father is still alive. My husband visits with him every week, has forgiven the abuse. My husband has two sisters, one who was abused so severely she tried to commit suicide, first as a child, then as an adult. She does not visit or call her father. And I understand and support this descision. My husband is a good man who could teach some so called Christians what forgiveness and selfless love really is... he astounds and moves me with his compassion. Like Charmaine said, there are two sides to every coin. Mothers who did not hit their children, lock them in closets and deny them affection, belittle or hurt their children with intention deserve love and respect, in life and after life. But I would never tell an adult to love someone who did not show them love as a child and may have even said, "You're useless. I can't wait till you leave. You were a mistake. You're stupid and a waste of space on the planet..." These mothers, now alone and lonely, expecting their grown children to say Happy Mother's Day... well those mothers are just sowing what they reap... sorry to say. Hugs, Cyndi
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Iolanda Scripca
Date: 5/13/2013 9:35:00 AM
Hi Cyndi! I understand that BUT what about mothers who just gave all their love to the child, dedicated all their life to that child and then he/she turns their back on her...any ideas why?
Date: 5/13/2013 12:27:00 AM
Yes unfortunately there are those type of children...Im sure there have to be an answer for why they act that way.I have one child whose still a baby..Im willing to give her all my love..pass to her all good values of life..let her have the best education I can afford..Try to teach her to find her spiritual part..And if after all this she grows up to abandon me..I will go after her and ask her if i ever failed her cause im sure as a mom i can make mistakes too..but in the end if she ever decides to shut me out of her life..then its her loss..She'd be missing out on my love for her.Im sure there are children who still call their mothers often and care but yes sadly there are 2 sides of d coin
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