An Apology
You told me I was pretty
That I was worth something.
Then-
My world fell apart,
I fell apart.
You undid me with your silence.
unraveling for days,
weeks,
months.
What did I do?
I tried to swallow
my anger and fury
Like a pill,
But it rose with my bile
And came pouring out of me.
I couldn’t control it.
“pathetic.”
“worthless.”
“ugly, inside and out.”
Your words like knives,
Piercing my skin
Blood falling from sewn together limbs.
Part of me wishes I hadn’t-
That I’d rather live in a world
Where we still talked
Then a world filled by your silence.
But part of me knows if I hadn’t
I’d still be caught in your orbit,
Circling you and
Feasting on the attention.
We are not star-crossed lovers-
we never were.
We are not written in time-
we never were.
I thought we were destined to be tangled
In silk sheets for the rest of our days-
but we never were.
I’m sorry for everything
I did and didn’t do
To you,
For you.
What I said were the words of someone hurt,
Someone suffering.
They weren’t meant for your ears.
They were meant for my heart,
Unloading on somebody I thought I had loved.
So much stored anger,
But for the wrong reason.
I hope you read this
And know
How sorry I am.
For everything.
I’m sorry…
Copyright © Aaron James | Year Posted 2019
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