I was so proud of my garden pond,
constructed with consideration for wildlife.
But the strangest thing happened:
it attracted a talking frog.
He said, 'Hello, sucker.'
I said, 'What do you mean by , sucker?'
He said, 'Have you been working again,
all the hours under the sun?(he was into cliché)
When's the last time you had a holiday?'
I thought, what's this all about?
A frog getting smart with me?
I said, 'What about you, you slimy, little jerk?
He said, 'Me? I swim all day,
and sunbathe on lily pads.
I get close and personal with lady frogs
whenever the mood takes me,
and I've never done a day's work in my life.'
Well, I was ready to stamp on the cocky,
little bastard, but he did have a point.
I said, 'Ok, Mr Clever,
but if you ever get smart with me again,
I'll get myself a pet heron!'
He hopped off, saying,
'Ok, Mr Misery, no need for the threats;
can't you take a joke?
Humans. Always so damn righteous,
and so bloody aggressive.'
Copyright © Jonathan French | Year Posted 2018