Secret
I have a secret
I can't tell anyone if I do I will be harmed
Why couldn't I sound the alarm
I have a secret
That 36 years later I still carry
I feel like Dexter my emotions are guarded
The burden is scary
I feel used and discarded
The secret makes me contort
At 6'3" I have broad shoulders
I can't let it go, ashamed and worried people will think I'm the pervert.
allows me to carry the boulders
36 years later I am having trouble carrying it around
I'm strong and brawny yet It still scares me as if it happened today
This is getting old being stuck on this merry go round
If I think of it or want to say a word I tear up and emotionally run away
Built up walls to protect and to keep peering eyes out.
Like the wizard of oz I'm afraid for anyone to see behind the curtain
I lie to keep it hidden even, Many times Don't know why I let another lie out
If I tell you my secret shame is certain.
I want to let the pain and hurt go
The secret is ruling my domain
I can't let anyone know
The lies and secrets please let me abstain
Instead I hurt the ones I care for and me
All I do is try and hide
They can't hear the silent plea
The fear won't subside
Even on bended knee I can't tell my plea
I worry someone will find out
So now it looks like its just me
I want to let it out but I can't shout
I have driven away those that I love
All because I protect the secret that I don't want
Where is gods protection from above
Now I am the one no one wants
I have a secret
I have found my voice
I am now looking the fears in the eyes
I was molested and but no longer in fear
I had a secret
Copyright © Jeff Jones | Year Posted 2016
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