Failed
Your hurting me and yet you don't know and I can't tell you. You continue to yell at
me, berate me, belittle me. You are angry and I can see that, but your rage is
overwhelming and your words cut like blades. You can't begin to imagine how
and what I feel. You look at me and you think you see all of me. Then why can't
you see my anger, my confusion, my pain, my love. Your tearing me up as though
it's my fault we're fighting. Your words are like ice on the warm heart I once had.
You accusing, your distraught and I know. I'm sorry. Now try to imagine my
feelings multiply yours by ten. Your hurtful, mean and ruse and all you can say
is "What did I do wrong?" You yell because I won't talk. You call me childish. Do
you really not know me as you say you do? Or is this a test? To see what I'd do or
if I'm as crazy as my mother says I am? I don't need this, yet I can't leave you. I
love you. Yet I'm afraid you'll push too much, hurt me more. Ask for more than I
have to give. You think I lied to you. Why should I? Why would I want to destroy
what we've faught so hard to get? Why? That's all I can ask and yet I pushed you
so far away, you couldn't hear me if I did ask. You think an apology will work but
you went too far, accused me of too much without even saying anything. There's
so much I want to say, need to say. Yet I can't find the words, can't find my tongue,
can't find my courage. I disgrace you I'm sure. But I know no other way to be. I
know I'm not perfect as most wish I were. I thought I was perfect for you. It shows
how wrong I was to assume you'd always love me and trust me. I still can't help
but love you and only you. Though you'll never know to what extent vecause you
doubt my love and me.
Copyright © Cassandra Reed | Year Posted 2006
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