In This Corner
I sit here in this corner.
It’s a dark corner.
It’s a corner lit by a single tea-candle.
It’s a small corner,
But it’s my corner.
As I sit here in this corner—
Furthest from the door;
Furthest from corruption—
I think to myself,
“Why do I sit alone in between two walls?”
I hear a voice calling to me.
It’s calling me closer to the door.
It’s calling me half-way between corruption and my corner.
It’s calling me to a “balanced” life.
But I know where the truth is.
The truth is here in my corner.
I love this corner.
It’s where I can be me.
No one is willing to listen.
My corner is my happiness.
To an outsider looking in,
My corner is my constant sadness and loneliness;
The darkness is my anger and frustration;
My tea-candle is my stubbornness.
The outsider doesn’t see that
My corner is my life,
The darkness is all the lies I’ve told;
My tea-candle is my last bit of hope.
The outsider sees my corner,
But doesn’t see the frail me.
My heart has been shattered many times.
My eyes are red and swollen from crying.
My skin is pale, cold, and clammy.
I am curled up in a little ball FREEZING,
Waiting for someone to throw me a blanket.
I have waited 7 years.
7 years to trust a stranger;
7 years to be loved;
7 years for a meaningful hug;
7 years to talk and be listened to.
I sit here in this corner
Knowing no one really cares.
I sit here in this corner
Not understanding why I am still here;
I feel worthless and useless.
I pull out my secret bottle
I flip off the top emptying the contents into my mouth.
I wash it down with bottles of water.
I wait in this corner.
I wait for the pills to take me over;
I wait for my tea-candle to blow out;
I wait for the darkness to fall over me;
Why won’t it come!?
What’s holding me back!?
What’s going…
DARKNESS!
DARKNESS!
DARKNESS!
The tea-candle burned out.
My time has come.
I am gone.
I am dead to the world,
But I remain alive in this corner,
Where my thoughts and truth are.
Copyright © Aarushi Shah | Year Posted 2006
|