Not a Poem But a Short Story Its Called Intruder Alert
I knew I was in trouble when I woke up to being tired to a chair in the living room and a
masked man brandishing a 50 cal pistol in my face. I guess that because he was waving it he
wanted me to know that I shouldn’t act up. Unfortunately that man wasn’t alone. I saw
another guy going through my secret stash of money. I saw him because of his mottled
jacket. That jacket had so many colors on it I was blinded when I got a full glance of him.
Also, because they were mixed it was even easier to see him. What made it even worse
about the robbery was that the main guy was deriding me. He was laughing and making fun
of me, so I kicked him with my free leg. The genius only taped one of them. He pointed the
gun at my face. I looked into the barrel and I could see the bullet waiting to be fired. I tried to
coax him out of shooting me. He shot. Not me though he knew he couldn’t shoot a child so he
just spit on my feet. He started ranting to his buddy in my mom’s room. He would stop
talking. He was talking very loudly too and he would talk for excessively long periods of time.
I told him to shut up. So he walked over to me and said really benevolently, “Do you want to
see your own brains, ‘cause I don’t” That shut me up. What was even worse was that he had
a kind tone in his voice when he said it. Finally our alarm came on and both robbers
screamed, “ WE HAVE TO SLOUGH THAT SIREN!”. They finally got rid of it and went back to
work. They didn’t know the alarm triggers the police to come. The cops came and they were
acting so aloof. It was funny they knew they were busted but they were acting cool; like
nothing was happening. The police, I was surprised said one thing and one thing only. They
said,” You know we are new cops so we will ask u what you want to happen. We are very
amenable, open to suggestions. So do you have any?” I started laughing so hard I almost fell
over in my chair. The robbers answered, “ Can we go free?”. The cops again surprisingly
answered, “ Yea sure why not its late sure come on out we will take you home” The robbers
fell for it. They walked outside and into the cops cars without fighting or anything! After they
untaped me and went back to their cars I heard one cops say to the crooks. Ha guys fell for
it, I wish I was as smart as you, your not going home, you going to jail. That was the last I
saw those crooks. They probably didn’t want to be seen in public.
Copyright © Matthew Luczak | Year Posted 2010
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