Lost
I’ve always been lost in my mind.
I’ve wandered aimlessly for as long as I can remember
in search of something I could never name.
I’d lost hope.
I hated myself for hurting the people who weren’t what I was looking for.
I blamed myself for the pain of those around me.
I tried to lose myself inside of people but nothing could steal me away from myself.
The demons inside my head wrapped me into their cruel embrace.
They whispered sweet lies into my ear while they dragged me deeper into the abyss of myself.
I was lost for so long that I began to believe this was the way things would always be.
I was so lost,
So lost inside of the prison of self despair that I unknowingly built brick by brick.
I failed again and again to find that one thing that always eluded.
Finally I could take no more and I locked myself away.
The only company I had was the demons that constantly reminded me of how broken I was.
How could anyone possibly save me when I couldn’t even save myself.
I’ve been trapped inside my mind for so long.
Something draws me deeper but it always stays just out of reach.
Mocking me with a false hope of freedom.
I’ll always be lost in my own mind.
Copyright © Matthew Brend | Year Posted 2019
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