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Let 'er Rip

I went out with some guys for lunch
we ate all we could find.

We ate like we were starving
and I must have lost my mind;

I had a salad with bleu cheese
and ordered extra fries,

I ate a plate with extra beans,
I must have had big eyes.

The waiter asked if we would like
some sweet things for dessert,

I ordered up a slice of pie
and spilled some on my shirt.

We drove back to the office
which is when I think it hit;

my stomach started growling
and was throwing quite a fit...

I figured it would go away 
and ran to join a meet,

I soon learned just how wrong I was
when I sat in my seat...

I loosened up my belt a bit
to take the pressure off,

and when my stomach growled too loud
I hid it with a cough.

The pressure kept on building
as the meeting went on long,

and that is when I realized
that this could all go wrong.

I stood and said "excuse me"
'cause by then I had to go,

I tightened all my muscles then,
and hoped it wouldn't show.

I waddled to the conference door
and quickly stepped outside,

I knew I had mere seconds left
to find a place to hide.

With privacy just out of reach
and pressure far too great,

I had to let a little out
before it was too late.

I took a step to get relief,
relaxed and let 'er rip,

but then I couldn't help myself
and felt the whole thing slip.

The sound I made was deafening,
it shook the office walls,

but that was not the worst of it,
as smell filled up the halls.

I couldn't hold it in no more
my body lost control,

I had to make a break for it
before it took it's toll.

Perhaps too late I made a break
and finally found a door,

I pushed on through and found fresh air 
and let loose with some more.

I found my car and got inside,
and drove fast as I could,

It wasn't long before I found
I let more than I should.

My day was done, my time was lost
and so my dignity,

the moral of this story
should be more than plain to see:

go out to lunch and take a break 
but don't eat the whole cart,

'cause you might find that if you do
you may do more than fart. 
.
.
.
Poem Info:

1. Written: 12.25.18

2. Written for the "Let 'Er Rip" poetry contest on PoetrySoup.com sponsored by John lawless.

Copyright © Cary Snowden | Year Posted 2018

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  1. Date: 12/27/2018 5:49:00 PM

    PS: I asked several people in my personal circle whether this was 'too much' to post live. They assured me it wasn't. I may be the brunt of an inside joke I am not on the inside of. -Cary

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