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Sihle Simelane Poem
Sexual immorality
I've been sexually harassed so many times but because I thought it was attention,
it felt fun.
See because society has painted flirting to be more of a sexual pleasure than what is,
So honestly, I never could tell the difference.
But what does it matter if I'm part time celibate.
I'm picky about who I want to penetrate me.
I'm part time Christian because I proclaim sexual abstinence,
But when it comes to certain people from the male species I give in.
So does it really count if someone who made me feel uncomfortable touches me in a way I prefer he didn't.
I guess it doesn't since I can be a sexual hypocrite.
I don't want him to make my blood boil because I guess before I give in, I have to lay down rules that I'll probably bend for you because your case was too convincing and I wasn't strong enough to withhold myself from everything you are.
I wasn't strong enough to realise I'm losing everything in me for the this little moment that could ruin everything.
I wasn't strong enough to tell you that I did it all so you couldn't leave me.
So I guess in my mind all of this is to protect me from looking too easy.
I guess I'm not easy because I could make you wait long enough to see you move on and break down because you no longer give me attention.
I have been sexually harassed 3 times in my entire life because all those times he thought we were having sex, he was fxcking a dead body that just wanted to please him,
But ruining a soul that just wanted to love him.
~Low-Key Poet
-Sihle Simelane
Copyright © Sihle Simelane | Year Posted 2020
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Sihle Simelane Poem
I apologize(Her inner voice)
Look at her...
Look at the way she walks...
Look how she acts as if...
No wait I wasn't born into this world to please your eyes
If you don't wanna look close them
I don't wake up every morning thinking of what you'll say ,i mean murmmer because you don't have the breathe to say it to my face
You talk about sisterhood yet you don't even know what it's like to be called trash in a world of glitters
You talk about empowerment yet you are the walking contradiction of criticism
So explain to me what is it that you know?
What is it that you know besides walking your suicidal thoughts around and flashing them around as happiness
What is it that you know besides spreading your legs to feel whole again
What is it, what is it, what is it?
See I clearly point out and tell you everything that's wrong with you but see I'll become like you
Everything I aspire not to be
Because see the difference between me and you
Is that I was able to write down what I don't like about you
It doesn't affect my daily life but it does affect the society I've grown fond of
It affects me because you seem to have become a meaningless role model
You have told girls to become comfortable in the skin that never belonged to them
You've turned your friends into you so you could use them as a reflection or a mirror of yourself
You don't like me because I remind you of who you want to be
But can never be
~Low-Key Poet??
-Sihle Simelane
Copyright © Sihle Simelane | Year Posted 2018
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Sihle Simelane Poem
I've been lying to myself
I told myself that I don't care about you
Everyday got tough and we had good conversations but now they are as bitter as you
So bitter that on some days I regret ever opening up the jar to give you my sugar
I felt my heart sync as I wrote this line because speaking bad upon you never brought me joy
Oh but you,
DearFriend ,You
You found comfort in my sorrow.
And yes it's cliche but I never understood it until I lost you
I've never had to be in your shoes and carry the depth,height and weight of your name.
So what made you think you were strong enough to spit bad on mine?
What made you think we got so comfortable you and I became one?
When did I ever let you know that I once carried a name that was never my own and found joy in its sorrowHave you become so bitter that my sudden joy makes you want to jitter
Have I not shown that even when we fall out I still have love for you
Have I not shown you that even till this day your absence is felt
You left a shadow and our memories will always be treasured
But like you did,I hit breaking point
My heart has sunk so deep that not even your presence will be enough to repair it
So DearFormerBestFriendAgain
This is my final hello to you because I need you to give me my name back
A name that you weren't supposed to carry.
A name you abused until it had no use.
And just like how useless it is to you.
Give it back to the owner it knows it's use and how to utilise it.
~Low-Key Poet??
-Sihle Simelane
Copyright © Sihle Simelane | Year Posted 2018
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Sihle Simelane Poem
Residing in his love
I remember sinking low enough to feel my heart throbbing when I realised every emotion,feeling and memory of your love was just an illusion,not just any illusion but an illusion I felt after every heartbreak I had ever tasted.
These were all the words I uttered and said proudly,profoundly because they were profuse.
And then I found a love amongst many.
A love so great it feels every void inside of me
The love I wanted to need.
My last love.
Complete love.
Love has taken so many forms in the society I wish to call home
Love is pain and hurt.
Love is patient but heartbreaking.
God-Loyal people showed me home in the love they gave me even when I resisted.
A mother who was selfless showed me sacrifice
Love is what I found when I gave my life to Christ.
Godly love should be the only love known to mankind
I've found a home in Abba.
I've found a first love in all my mothers who've made sacrifices for their children and even their nation.
I've found a last love in God.
God is all the love i yearned for and never found.
Everything else fades but God's love is eternal.
God's love is everlasting.
God's love heals all wounds.
And mostly God's love is indescribable love.
Come to him all of you who are heavy laid and he will give you peace and joy
Just like many relationships God's love is perfect and it's worth it.
Love and life with him is worth fighting for
God's love has taught me humility.
God's love has taught me to be a warrior,not just any but amongst many.
God's love has taught me how to care for my enemies without fighting and being a victor.
God's love is victorious.
Show me a love better than that and I will show you the holy bible to dispute that.
~Low-Key Poet??
-Sihle Simelane
Copyright © Sihle Simelane | Year Posted 2018
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Sihle Simelane Poem
Stuck in between races
I stand melanin enough because all my fellow people think they grew up with the struggles they heard from you.
I stand here because your daughter was accused of being racist.
See you stand here with a shocked look on your face but you never did when you told her how irrelevant you were treated back in the day.
You never did when you re-spoke history into her ears.
Your daughter is of colour and was accused of being racist.
You sit here with your jaw wide open, wondering where she ever got it from, heard it from, saw it from.
Wondering how blacks can be racist.
All those comments you made at the time weren't just convenient, they were remembered and repeated.
Your daughter was racist not to someone of a lighter colour
But to someone with a darker colour and you wonder where she picked it up from
You re-spoke unwritten history and you daughter made it the history.
See I just painted a pretty picture of a special occasion.
An occasion that went from special to normal.
How I feel like I'm obliged to feel my parents pain while trying to walk in my own shoes.
How thoughtful of me to even consider breathing in the same room as them.
How selfish of them to not even apologise
I stand here writing a story on behalf of a race that never had a voice
A voice they lost years ago not because they existed but because they are suffering just like me but see for them it's unintentional
I apologise for your lack of a better word, your pain
The suffering you're going through all because your 4 fathers thought they had left a legacy
A foot print maybe
Maybe even a sign
But all they did was leave you to be swallowed up by a bitter race that wants nothing to do with you.
I stand here trying to be remorseful but the more I write the more I realise you don't deserve a spokesperson
I promised I'd never touch on this topic but if I don't then I'm just another failed presenter right
A failed project like your people did.
You've had so many that many of mine have died, died all because healing the world was more important than avoiding the chaos all together
You've had greater opportunities to redeem yourself but your pride got in the way.
My pride is my way and I'm not sorry because if I did apologise, I'd do it to just make your heart stop beating fast enough like it's about to pop out of your chest because you're guilty of not standing up for yourself.
My daughter was racist towards someone of her colour because she never could tell the difference.
~Low-Key Poet??
-Sihle Simelane
Copyright © Sihle Simelane | Year Posted 2018
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Sihle Simelane Poem
What broke me wasn't my mother's lack of words but was the untold story she told me.
The strength she carried that I misused all because I thought she never wanted to use me.
The hands she used to wipe my tears when I found out she'd cry herself to sleep every night.
That alone made my mother the hero I knew I would always count on
~Low-Key Poet??
-Sihle Simelane
Copyright © Sihle Simelane | Year Posted 2018
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Sihle Simelane Poem
Transparency
He told me that looking in the mirror would scare me.
He was so afraid to show me pieces of himself but when he took of his clothes he realised he was empty.
So empty that the mirror couldn't portray all of his non existent happiness.
But, it was so easy for him to thrust all of his emptiness into my overflowing body that was turned warm by a tingly sensation he created when he carras’d my body.
Transparency.
The only time I knew who he truly was, was when our lips would touch each other and I'd remember what it's like to kiss someone with so much passion only to remember it isn't really them.
Transparency.
The only time I saw what he was made off was when I offered sexual pleasures in exchange for emotional fulfilment because that was the only thing I got attached to but it's not about me because I'm transparent enough when my legs are being spread wide open to make sounds that make him feel powerful, powerful enough to leave me shivery and wanting more of him but remembering it's only temporary.
Transparency.
He wore his clothes and realised being empty was more of a content thrill he was willing to stay in because non existent happiness is more of a lifestyle than it is a choice.
Transparency.
He's staring at the mirror again, trying to make sense of what he see's in the mirror but he doesn't realise that he left all of the pieces he thinks the mirror will give him inside of me.
~Low-Key Poet ??
-Sihle Simelane
Copyright © Sihle Simelane | Year Posted 2018
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Sihle Simelane Poem
I believe drink gave thee the lie last night.
I believe you were so down by life that maybe a drink was able to sooth your soul, make you forget your problems, help you remember that you're worth something more than a home girl.
You drank more than you could handle and imagined a future of me and you but little did you remember that's the reason why m and y are separated in the alphabets.
I believe drink gave thee the lie last night.
You saw me sitting from across the room and I never showed you signs of something more than a friend.
You saw a future maybe, the one maybe and you needed liquid courage, mmh but it turned into a liquid lie.
It made you believe that I was so inlove with you that you carrase me with your eyes and undress me by licking your lips because the liquid lie gave you confidence you never could handle and how devastating it is to look at you and see nothing more but a friend.
A friend who let drink lie to her and thought that I loved her.
I believe drink gave thee lie last night, I say this lying in bed next to an empty soul with so much liveliness but sadly she isn't the same girl who's cherry I popped because drink gave her the lie and I'm just an illusion to what she can never have.
I believe drink gave thee the lie last night and I'm sorry but drink has faded into the night because I believe now regret is giving you the drink in the morning and you're so ashamed that drinking at night has become distant memory, a past present future a never to be seen again belief.
~Low-Key Poet??
-Sihle Simelane
Copyright © Sihle Simelane | Year Posted 2018
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Sihle Simelane Poem
Misnomer
You piece of trash...
You garbage...
You disgusting...
Wait am I not the reflection of everything you wish to hold in your arms but can't because I'm so close yet so far away
Am I not the same garbage you admired a few minutes ago
You tell yourself you don't care but your soul couldn't let you throw me out so you wrapped me in a black plastic bag but little did you know that brings peace to me
Disgusting is everything you see in the mirror once you realize the little love you have for yourself
You put your dirty paws on me and then turn a left cheek because you're right one has been
Scar'd by those who once loved you
Scar'd by those you never thought would leave
Little boy didn't the world tell you that fairytales don't exist
Didn't the world show you that things aren't picture perfect norh are they worth it
Didnt the world humble you by making you see you're not the finest thing that walked this earth
This ain't about bruising your self-esteem you're a fool if that's what you think
It's me being a reflection of everything you dreamed off but I killed your dream once you decided to put your dirty paws on a garbage bag that was never yours to begin with
Your dream died because it was never yours to begin with
You stole it
Stole it from a girl who was turned sour by the joys life brings
You stole it and thought i would let you see another fairytale
~Low Key Poet ??
-Sihle Simelane
Copyright © Sihle Simelane | Year Posted 2018
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Sihle Simelane Poem
Vouch
Because I've learned to look at my beauty through the eyes of those that have never walked in my shoes
How could they?
They were never clean enough to look at
Because I've become bitter by hating everyone who's ever loved me and loving everyone has ever hated me
All because my face was never pretty enough for a visual
Because I've let the world that I am part of dictate who i want to be
Because I've let my loved ones judge me without even knowing how I like to breathe
I've let me let them dictate how I view me
Because I let my non- existent insecurities become my security to what I'm unable to achieve
I've let everyone around me hate every piece of me that I ever loved
But from this day forward i vouch
I vouch to be everything everyone expects me not to be
I vouch to be myself and unapologetic about it
I vouch to let you hate me enough to start loving
I vouch to never do thing's for anyone else but me
I vouch to be considerate to the person in the mirror because I'm belle
I'm everything and anything one should want to have
I vouch to aloof to anything that won't make me grow
I am an amenity to this world
I am ameliorate
I am anew
I ask you belle take this vouch not only for yourself but for the future belle looking up to you
~Low-Key Poet??
Sihle Simelane
Copyright © Sihle Simelane | Year Posted 2018
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