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Elya Ntsh Poem
Look at my skin,
And categorize me.
Put me in a column,
The society is sickening.
Not a day would pass without me getting called out.
What do I need to do to live in piece?
My skin doesn’t define me,
When can I speak?
Freedom of speech?
Huh, what a silly thing.
Every time I speak,
You act like I’m a little kid.
The color of my skin,
Is hard to find on screens.
Perhaps white is preferable,
Or I’m just overreacting
I have a name you know,
Why call me by a color?
I’m not a walking object,
And yes I am bothered.
I never received apologies,
After anyone said anything offensive to me.
I am a human too,
Put yourself in my shoes.
When can we end this?
How many more poems to come?
How many more riots to count down?
How many march to volunteer?
A crazy old man said “the end is near”
No, stop calling me selfish!
I’m trying to defend myself, can’t you accept this?
If this is what the society has become,
No wonder there are suicides around
Gunshots and wounds,
Can never teach the fools.
If a color is what it takes to get hate,
The humans we are now is a disgrace.
The generation would come,
Would be a hopeless one I’m sure.
If the society is like this,
The seed of success is ruined.
My dearest ancestors who died in their grave,
They are thought being brown was a mistake.
It is still the same until this day.
I guess society has never changed.
A color is not my name.
A color should be praised.
A child should be taught,
Being themselves is not a fault
A color doesn’t define anyone,
A color doesn’t speak for anyone,
Actions are what separate us,
A color plays an innocent part
A color is not my name
Copyright © Elya Ntsh | Year Posted 2018
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Elya Ntsh Poem
i still remembered the first time i met you,
how the breeze went through my hair and made you smile.
how you said hello and it was awkward for a while.
and how we laughed and went to your car.
you drove down the hill,
with our song playing on the radio,
how you were playing it on your stereo.
how i teased you for living so old.
i still remembered your promises.
your vows, your secrets and your sacred wishes.
How you’d stay late at night and look in my eyes,
how you would smile and say you’re a lucky man.
it was 2 am.
2 am in the morning when i received your text.
it was like a letter with such length.
i read it hoping it would be romantic.
but it wasn’t. it was heartbreaking.
you broke up with me saying how you’re better of without me.
i didn’t get a good sleep.
my pillow was flooded with tears,
next to my bed was an image of both us together.
i felt my heart break,
into pieces that can’t be gathered.
it turned into ashes that doesn’t matter.
my foolish mind said what’s the point living without you?
i gave up on love after you’re off without me.
a few months went past and i was scrolling,
through social media and saw you,
gripping a girl’s waist with a smile the size of huge.
that smile you had the first day we met.
that smile you had when we went to our first date.
that smile you had when we stayed in for the night.
that smile on the picture next to my bed before you said goodbye.
i swear my soul died.
i never hated her or you.
i wished every night the best for you too.
i wish my heart was mean to make me hate you.
but i never did.
i was lost before i met someone like you.
you see,
this new guy comes to me and comforted me like how you never did.
he called me random times and reminded me “baby you got this”
he would make the effort to make me feel special.
he would do everything that you had abandoned.
i don’t care about you anymore.
my heart’s not foolish, i answer his calls.
i open up my heart and this guy fixed it.
he collected the pieces i thought no one gave shit about.
he did all that for a girl like me.
he does anything he needs to protect me.
he treats me like a princess when i don’t deserve it.
he is the man you could have been
i am better off without you, too.
i am way happier without you, too.
something very special was taken away from me.
and something i had never expect was given to me.
love is a never ending story.
Copyright © Elya Ntsh | Year Posted 2018
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Elya Ntsh Poem
its funny how society greets you with a smile and dismiss you and make you cry,
society can be a be a beautiful thing and a horrible living,
but if you’re not good enough , “deal with it” they say,
go find someone else they obeyed
perhaps I’m not good enough,
perhaps I’m too normal for my age,
perhaps I’m too ugly to stand out,
perhaps that is why I’m just a someone in the crowd
its scary how words are sharp enough to cut through you,
how you can trust nobody too,
human aspires fame and popularity,
believe me, they’d sin if they had to.
but what is it about being accepted’s so hard?
we’re all different for gods sake we’re not human cards,
where you choose which one you like and which to disregard.
why can’t i be different?
why do i have to be the girl everyone likes?
because, if you don’t then everyone will run,
you think they would talk to a creep like you.
even you are a fool to think so too
face the fact, you don’t want to be lonely and so do i,
do what it says or continue to cry,
society is scary but you have to meet it’s deeds,
I’m sorry I’m not enough to be let inside.
im not the girls you’d see online,
the perfect thin ones, I’m not defined.
im a mess and I’m unorganised,
but that’s what makes me one of a kind.
a note to myself,
dont cry every night,
you’re enough what more could you want?
the grass is always greener on the other side,
so why do you even bother to try?
some have it worst so appreciate what you have,
someone in this world would switch their live with yourself.
and yet you say that what you have is not enough,
don’t bother checking a therapist, feels like you’re crazy already
you can’t please everyone, not in this world,
7 billion people and one out of third,
would still find an imbecile reason to disagree,
like i said it is how society is.
to all of you,
never beat yourself cause you are not like the person next to you,
perhaps you don’t have what she/he has but she/he does not too.
i hope you take this moment and appreciate what you already have,
someone else in this world is taking their last breath
Copyright © Elya Ntsh | Year Posted 2018
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Elya Ntsh Poem
(this poem is a part two of my 'a colour is not my name' poem. Ps; these are scattered.)
Just because im brown doesn’t mean I am cruel.
Because you prejudice people are the bullies at school.
Funny how you protest against bullying.
Yet when my people speak up, you never take them seriously.
“she has no facts” “she doesn’t understand what we’re doing”.
Yes I do, but you’re so stubborn to see through.
Stubborn to open up your minds.
Obstinate to see with your eyes.
This poem is not a hate letter, don’t get me wrong.
This poem is to express what I feel about your faults.
Nobody’s perfect, I get that a lot.
But don’t hide behind that phrase, don’t be a fraud.
Have you seen the amount of marches on the street?
How many riots that you haven’t seen?
All is happening because of the hate you give.
All is happening because you think, we, browns, is a mistake?
You’re hiding behind you’re power, we know.
We all know you’re a coward. We’ve been told.
Imbecile how so many poems out there is about racism.
Yet So little action taken to get rid of it.
Back in the days, colors are what divided us.
The whites were in power, the blacks were slaves.
Somehow it is still the same until this day.
Except they don’t slaughter blacks, they hurt them with what they say
What is so hard for you to accept difference?
Why are you so against different humans?
When will you see the mirror’s reflection,
That there will always be some sort of complexion.
A color is not my name.
A color is not a label.
A color is not a category.
A color is the definition of diversity.
Copyright © Elya Ntsh | Year Posted 2018
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Elya Ntsh Poem
mother nature
we once fantasised about the air,
the nature, the galaxies before there were billionaires.
we once cherished this gift we had,
before the monsters destroyed it with a plan.
“it was for a better future” they said,
they destroyed, vanished, the nature we once cared.
what once was a beautiful home,
is now called a war zone.
hunger is now a huge issue,
but the people with money ignore and donate their cash to,
support war and build a better land,
but wasn’t that the promise they said?
wasn’t that the goal they had?
before they destroyed mother earth and it’s plants?
before they ruined the houses of families,
before they abolished everything we cared for centuries?
what the world has become now was differ than what it used to be,
the streets weren’t so full and the plants weren’t so dull.
pollution here and there like it’s easy money,
why spend billions of dollars on wars when we can fix the country?
stop with the new buildings,
stop with raising the prices.
please start planting plants,
and plan for a better future.
destroying a beautiful gift will not result a better future,
vanishing it will only add more massacre.
we could live in peace by making simple choices with ease.
we can have a better future if only you would agree.
open up your eyes and so with your minds,
be thoughtful and please don’t be narrow-minded.
how on earth can you lead a country if you can’t make choices easy?
change your laws and care more for your country.
it is not hard to plan a new tree.
it is not hard to care for what is free.
it is not hard to take care of your surroundings.
it is not hard if you see the vision of what the world could be.
Copyright © Elya Ntsh | Year Posted 2018
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Elya Ntsh Poem
All the hemogoblins in you body,
Wont be enough to teach you to love somebody.
If you are too caught up with yourself,
You will never see the worth of somebody else.
To be happy is to not be selfish.
To feel happy is to not be a pessimist.
I cant help a man who sleeps,
While everybody else plant their seeds
Copyright © Elya Ntsh | Year Posted 2018
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Elya Ntsh Poem
Im not begging you to stay,
Im only giving reasons why you should.
Copyright © Elya Ntsh | Year Posted 2019
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Elya Ntsh Poem
i am a girl, a daughter,
that’s supposed to have a nice future,
when i was small i was considered intelligent,
before i came to high school, where things got different
there are people who is as smart as i one can be,
there are people that is the prettiest i’ve seen,
and so when i see them i can never stop comparing,
and so after comparisons, there’s something wrong with me
tests after test i have never been the best,
quizzes after quizzes just left me more depressed
they prefer her over me and tell that to my face
they tell how I don’t deserve her place
see my once optimistic life has turned toxic
it’s becoming much more like a darker past
every word they say i can never forget it
that how “i was speaking too fast”
you don’t know how it hurts to always be the third
to have people clapping their hands for another girl
i used to be the one they’d ask their questions too,
now they ask to a different person, i keep my head down low cause i know I’m a fool
it sucks to go to school,just to proof,
to other people that i am worth it too
it sucks because no matter how hard i try
i could never be fine
i hear their whisper and judgements leaving their lips
their criticism and words creeps under my skin
at night i lay in bed why am i still here
if i am worth nothing, god, why do you still let me breathe, isn’t it crystal clear?
i lost countless nights of tears going down my face,
as i sat at the corner crying, that will always be the place
where i turn to, after being told I’m not the one
where i go to, after being told I’m not as fun
dearest god i don’t get it what’s wrong with me
why did you created me when I’m meaningless
i am in constant pain that’s driving me insane
i hide it all with just a phrase “I’m okay”
i walk on thin ice day by day,
i don’t want to stay alive, ice, just break
they don’t see what i go through they don’t understand the pain
i wish they could learn to appreciate
Copyright © Elya Ntsh | Year Posted 2018
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Elya Ntsh Poem
I don’t have the pretty face,
A defined body nor a shape.
Im a mess and i tend to hate,
my own self for goodness sake.
Its not healthy i do this,
quite often, on daily.
Someday i wish i could stop,
the hate i give to my body
she is way better than me,
a better face, a better teeth.
She has such a perfect day,
a perfect life, a perfect teen.
What do i need to be like her?
How much of surgeries?
Believe me i’ll have the money,
just as long i can be a barbie
what do i need to do, to have my life like she does?
what do i need to do, i’ll shed a skin if it’s a must.
all i wanted was a perfect life, be a perfect wife.
but all i got is an ugly face with an ugly shape.
take a look at her legs,
thin as how the toothpicks were made.
take a look at her skin,
far better than what i see.
she has the ideal weight,
the ideal hight, the ideal “fine”
all the boys run after her,
as i sit down by the curb.
so i guess, forever i will be stuck with these things in my life.
Forever it may seem, for me to have these ugly thighs.
Forever it may seem, for me to endure this pain.
But at least I’m okay.
Copyright © Elya Ntsh | Year Posted 2018
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