My Depression
i am a girl, a daughter,
that’s supposed to have a nice future,
when i was small i was considered intelligent,
before i came to high school, where things got different
there are people who is as smart as i one can be,
there are people that is the prettiest i’ve seen,
and so when i see them i can never stop comparing,
and so after comparisons, there’s something wrong with me
tests after test i have never been the best,
quizzes after quizzes just left me more depressed
they prefer her over me and tell that to my face
they tell how I don’t deserve her place
see my once optimistic life has turned toxic
it’s becoming much more like a darker past
every word they say i can never forget it
that how “i was speaking too fast”
you don’t know how it hurts to always be the third
to have people clapping their hands for another girl
i used to be the one they’d ask their questions too,
now they ask to a different person, i keep my head down low cause i know I’m a fool
it sucks to go to school,just to proof,
to other people that i am worth it too
it sucks because no matter how hard i try
i could never be fine
i hear their whisper and judgements leaving their lips
their criticism and words creeps under my skin
at night i lay in bed why am i still here
if i am worth nothing, god, why do you still let me breathe, isn’t it crystal clear?
i lost countless nights of tears going down my face,
as i sat at the corner crying, that will always be the place
where i turn to, after being told I’m not the one
where i go to, after being told I’m not as fun
dearest god i don’t get it what’s wrong with me
why did you created me when I’m meaningless
i am in constant pain that’s driving me insane
i hide it all with just a phrase “I’m okay”
i walk on thin ice day by day,
i don’t want to stay alive, ice, just break
they don’t see what i go through they don’t understand the pain
i wish they could learn to appreciate
Copyright © Elya Ntsh | Year Posted 2018
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.
Please
Login
to post a comment