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Best Poems Written by Brian Cotton

Below are the all-time best Brian Cotton poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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the happy holiday chocolate monster

THE HAPPY HOLIDAY CHOCOLATE MONSTER
 

Her name was Maureen o Leary,
she could not get out of the house, 
Her feeder was a man called Timmy,
He was as quiet as a mouse,
She had been bedridden for nearly three years now ,
It took her an hour to raise even a smile ,
Meal times were quite an achievement ,
And usually took quite a while,
Breakfast was two packs of bacon ,
A loaf of bread and two dozen eggs ,
It was Timmy who did all the running ,
No wonder he had such short stumpy legs
Lunchtime was three hours later,
Normally six fish and eight bags of chips,
Timmy would feed her so lovingly ,
Then kiss the grease of her fat hairy lips .

Holidays were never an option 
Let’s be honest now where would they go, 
Timmy driving round in his camper van ,
Maureen on a trailer in tow,
So their holidays consisted of chocolate,
And they used quite a lot I can say ,
A van brought it round in the morning ,
Then she consumed it all through the day
For a treat Tummy would bathe her in chocolate ,
Then lick it all off her skin,
Paying particular attention 
To the pool that formed in her chin ,
This went on for some time
till her heart gave up from the strain ,
They tried but they could not budge her ,
so she was melted and poured down the drain

Copyright © Brian Cotton | Year Posted 2018



Details | Brian Cotton Poem

a spaceman came to visit

A spaceman came to visit
 
A spaceman came to visit and his ship it filled the sky 
People stood and pointed in awe, others started to cry
The police quickly on the scene put barricades round the ship
Looking very welcoming with their guns resting on their hips 
Soon a crowd  gathered, it got bigger through the day 
The police told them to move on but everybody stayed 
The kids all got the day off because all the schools were closed 
the city came to a standstill because  traffic jams blocked the roads 
The army soon came into the affray and brought their tanks and guns 
And sellers brought along their stalls to sell their coffee and buns
The media went into a frenzy but had nothing much to say
The man on the telly said a statement would be released later on today
The president said lets capture it and see what makes it tick 
And the prime minister just ran around in circles but he always was a prick
Priests from every religion preached the end is nigh
That god would vent his wrath, from this invader from the sky
So now would be the time, to repent and save your soul
Embrace your god,  surely that’s your goal
Peace and goodwill to all men, so the bible says 
Not a lot of that happening these days
Suddenly all around the world the people started to unite 
A refreshing change from fighting wars and always wanting to  fight 
Regardless of religion colour, or even creed 
The people started talking because they had a common need 
from Africa to Britain America to Rome 
The people shouted in one voice
FUCK OFF YOU GREEN BASTARD GO HOME

Copyright © Brian Cotton | Year Posted 2018

Details | Brian Cotton Poem

Bark at the Moon

Bark at the Moon


They tell me that I’m in here cos I, not very well,
If the medicine is working ,don’t think I can tell,
I hope I aint here long, cos I don’t think it’s fair ,
So I sit on my bed and pull out my hair ,
Talk to strange people that are not really there ,
My wife keeps on phoning and says are you coming home soon,
And I say to be honest ,I think I’ll just stay here, 
And bark at the Moon
The walls in my room are exceptionally white, 
And the light in my room is exceptionally bright,
Sometimes I panic and start to self-harm ,
But the Doctors soon cure that with a shot in the arm,
My neighbors are noisy and make such a racket ,
But I can’t bang on the walls because of my jacket,
I begged for the doctor to let me out soon ,
But he just laughed and said bark at the Moon,
 
My wife doesn’t come now ,she corresponds by post ,
don’t get many letters one a month at most 
Its gone on for so long now don’t think I can cope ,
So I managed to get me a nice piece of rope ,
The doctor came in and saw me hanging down ,
Then turned to the nurse with an irritated frown ,
Best get a knife and cut him down soon ,
But I wish I could leave him to bark at the moon…

Copyright © Brian Cotton | Year Posted 2018