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Brenda Biever Poem
I don't mean to be someone I'm not.
I'd love to be clean
But my spirit just rots,
I've quit before
That's the easy part.
Then the addict inside
Takes over my body
And takes over my brain,
Constantly there
To keep me insane.
Brenda's gone
And what you see,
Is that perfect person
I pretend to be.
The dope has my body
And has my soul,
I have my paper
And I have my pen.
When I write
I'm Brenda again.
But then ...
I read what I wrote
And I cry,
Because my words yell and scream
For the addict inside
To die.
Copyright © Brenda Biever | Year Posted 2018
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Brenda Biever Poem
I found a new friend today
A friend to take my fears away
It is a friend that you must buy
It has a name, its called a high
It seems to be the latest style,
" You're welcome here, let's smoke awhile. "
It turns me loose, it sets me free
From the dullness of reality.
But sometimes though I start to wonder
Does it lift me up or drag me under?
The fears it took were only hidden
And feelings seem to be forbidden.
Now my friend has turned on me
And thus become my enemy.
I think about the price I pay
And go get high anyway.
Inside it seems I'm always crying
Why do I feel as if I'm dying?
Copyright © Brenda Biever | Year Posted 2017
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Brenda Biever Poem
I've tried to be the person
You think I should be.
But we both know,
I'll never be good enough.
I wish,
For just once,
To make you proud.
I cant change the past,
I cant make things right.
I wonder if you know,
How I hate myself.
I'm not perfect.
And I'm sorry that what I do,
Isn't good enough for you.
Every time you turn away,
I feel like I've failed you.
I know I'm not the mom you want,
But I cant change who I am.
I'm never going to be the mom you love,
It just isn't going to happen.
I'm never going to be good enough,
No matter how hard I try ...
Or how hard I cry.
Copyright © Brenda Biever | Year Posted 2017
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Brenda Biever Poem
I'm not ready for your good-bye
Nor so long or see you later
I'm not ready for the end
Not ready for this reality
I'm not ready for this life
One without you in it
I'm not ready for your good-bye
Maybe someone elses
Anyone elses
Just not yours, never, ever, yours
Death doesn't become you
It isn't your best color
Please remind me that your indestructible
Just like we always believed
Please tell me daddy
You will always be my best friend
Tell me you will never leave me
And you'll be here till the end
Tell me you will always love me
And that you will stay with me
Knowing you will be gone
Doesn't make it any easier
I love you this much daddy ...
Infinity and beyond.
Copyright © Brenda Biever | Year Posted 2017
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Brenda Biever Poem
I'm in over my head,
Feels like I'm dead.
I know I'm worthless,
A worthless Mom.
You seem so far away,
It gets worse each day.
I cry all the time,
Because I hurt you,
And caused you pain.
Should I say good-bye,
Would that make you happy?
I'm already gone,
And in a place you will never know.
I need to find myself,
Who I am inside.
Don't give up on me,
I'm trying as hard as I can.
I love you Brandi Lee,
And I know you love me too.
I'm sorry I hurt you,
And for causing you pain.
I'm sorry for being worthless,
Sorry for being your worthless Mom.
Copyright © Brenda Biever | Year Posted 2017
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Brenda Biever Poem
I whisper your name...
Can you feel my heart breaking?
Do you see my tears flowing?
Can you hear my soul shouting?
I wonder if you ever think of me,
Do you ever dream of me?
Do you ever cry out for me,
Alone, in the dark, at night?
Don't you miss me?
Don't you need me?
Don't you love me?
Don't you know ...
A child needs her Mama,
And Mama needs her Brandi Lee.
Copyright © Brenda Biever | Year Posted 2017
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Brenda Biever Poem
I'm looking bad these days.
I put on make up, wash my hair,
But something strange shows through.
Like the women on the street,
Who wear purple lipstick,
With a scared look in their eyes.
Some carry little dogs,
Others talk to themselves.
One doesn't want to look to close,
Is this what Meth does?
I didn't know,
Nobody told me,
And now its too late.
I wear purple lipstick,
Like the women on the street.
Copyright © Brenda Biever | Year Posted 2017
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Brenda Biever Poem
I want to go somewhere with you,
just a little place that no one else can see.
I want you to tell me all your stories,
All your dreams and all your doubts.
And then I'll tell you mine.
I want to take you away,
to somewhere beautiful and mysterious.
I want to watch your eyes as you look around,
looking at new places, new people, and new scenery.
And then I'll smile at the wonder in them.
I want to celebrate with you, doesn't matter what it is.
I want to hear your laugh, see your eyes sparkle,
and listen to your excitement.
And then I'll announce to the world how proud of you I am.
But most of all,
What I really want to do, is one little thing.
The thing i do everyday and promise to do for as long as I live,
Is to love you with all my heart and to say,
Thank you Jesus ...
Thank you for by beautiful babygirl.
Copyright © Brenda Biever | Year Posted 2018
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Brenda Biever Poem
Let me tell you about a game I play,
Where I close my eyes and fade away.
I float away, to a special place,
Beyond the moon,
The stars,
And space.
In this place you will see
There are only two people,
Just you and me.
In this place,
It's a beautiful sight,
Nothing but love,
Never a fight.
In this place there is no sadness,
No cells, no courts,
None of the madness.
No rules to follow, no laws to break,
No bars to hold us, or seperate.
In this place we only see love.
You look in my eyes
And I have nothing to hide.
But all too soon the game must end
I open my eyes and reality sets in.
I keep the faith
That maybe someday,
You will miss your Mama
And come home to stay.
I pray.
Copyright © Brenda Biever | Year Posted 2017
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Brenda Biever Poem
Maybe I've gone a little crazy
Maybe my sense of self got a little lazy
Maybe I forgot which self I am
Maybe I should be damned
Maybe my life is maddening
Maybe I should stop babbling
Maybe this doesn't make sense
Maybe insanity is my defense
Maybe I'm under attack
Maybe it's common sense I lack
Maybe none of this is true
I'm not the judge - I'll leave that to you.
Copyright © Brenda Biever | Year Posted 2017
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