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Meg Cook Poem
You hold it all inside, the pain you won’t show outside, you put on the brave face and feel you have to be strong, in a room full of people, but still feel alone.
Demands and stresses that wear you down, they say they will be there for you, but are only there for themselves, they have first class problems, while you are in your own hell.
Can’t contain the loneliness that you feel, with others that depend on you, your pain you have to shield.
You have had so much that’s happened already in your life, you’d think by now; you’d have no trouble or strife.
You hold it together, with a smile and songs, relieving days of before, when life was easier, with less cares and no one else to please.
Always been giving, when will the taking end, see you break down, rips me to shreds, the endless bottles, and lonely nights in bed.
You don’t want to think of the inevitable outcome, too much to bear, and deal with it, where is the strength you need to proceed, what else is there in left to believe.
Broken promises that never came through, empty words that never had truth, the decision you make hold such weight, not wanting to think of that fatal date.
All you can do is make the memories right, hold it in your mind, day and night, make it the best it can be, but remember I won’t leave, you have a friend in me.
Copyright © Meg Cook | Year Posted 2018
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Meg Cook Poem
Can’t keep running, tired of hiding, of all the games, and the lying.
Bored of the stories, and the never after, sick of telling myself, it will be better,
Can’t keep smiling behind lying eyes, convincing the truth of what I despise,
When did I become what I see, when did I lose sight? And forgot to be me?
The one with the voice, a pre- mediated script, with one skill and nothing left to give.
Sick of being the one to take, losing everyone, for my own gain.
When did I become so selfish, so self-entitled?
So reckless and so unkind?
Can’t keep changing your situation, to suit the games played, avoiding the call at all costs, not caring about who and what you’ve lost.
I want to change, not stay the same, sick of the being the one shamed, like fallen down fame.
Hindsight is always better when it’s not your own, easier to judge, as you aren’t the star of the show,
Don’t want the unkind words that are said, want to switch off the constant thoughts before I go to bed.
Can’t keep running, because enough is enough, got to face the music, cos the lies have me caught.
Copyright © Meg Cook | Year Posted 2017
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Meg Cook Poem
LAX- luxury, access excess, go put on your Prada dress, risk it all for the Hollywood game, another night, don’t remember his name, just another wannabe to join the climb, for your name up in the Hollywood, lights.
Don’t recognize the reflection in the mirrors, the cracks and lines are becoming clearer, the long days, and the hard nights, taking their toll, waiting for the call back, for a starring role.
Layer by layer you get stripped away, wandering down Ventura, or Marina Del Rey, a broken doll is all that you are, to that C list movie star.
Another day, another audition, another waiting call, for your burning ambition, another snorted line to cure your condition, stumbling and slurring and you’ll never stop, just easier for you to sleep your way to the top.
Pretty baby, you’re the talk of the strip, rock n roll lady, take another sip, baby girl, you wake up in another directors bed, now one snort too many, baby doll, now you’re dead
Copyright © Meg Cook | Year Posted 2017
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Meg Cook Poem
“We scream and shout like it’s a war, you punch, and I kick, both spitting blood into the sink” “I look into the mirror, not recognizing myself, can’t remember when this began, I’d rather end it all, than be without you, I’m already dead”
“We shout and fight, another drunken Friday night, you run down the street screaming until 3, still going over it at 5, at 7 you claim you will always love me” “I know what I discover, you’ve been with so many others, what else can I do? I have to forget and forgive, because without you, I can’t live”
Better off to start this party by myself and block you out, 1 drink, 2, 3, 4 then 5, then more till one more bottle is gone, to forget everything going around, this circus we live inside, who knows how much longer we’ll survive this, I can’t be with you and I can’t be apart, evidence of your infidelity is tearing me apart.
I look in the mirror, I don’t even recognize myself, what made it OK for me to put up with this hell, you have your hands around my neck when you kiss me, bite my tongue, when you shut me out, but when others appear you change your gears, I see her looking at you that certain way, inside I feel betrayed, lock myself away, so I don’t have to see it for myself, can’t I just be enough for you, obviously that’s not true.
Now every thought enters my mind, cutting myself off from the truth behind the minds lie, I wanted to believe in you and me, but I am nothing without you, I can never be free, everything reminds me of you, hating myself, I’m lost I don’t know where I belong, we are something real, nothing that we could fake, I’m your Amy, you’re my Blake.
Starting to lose what kept us together, there’s no such thing as eternal and forever, I need more from you than now more than ever, can’t you see, what this shit is doing to me.
Slipping under, skin cut open to take away the pain, closed doors and staring into glass to try and hide the shame, locked the door, as I’m locking you out, if I can’t see it, hear it, I don’t have to face it, breaking up inside, so I smile and fake it, you are going to be the end of me, it’s killing me inside and taking up my life, time to say goodbye.
Copyright © Meg Cook | Year Posted 2017
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Meg Cook Poem
I need you to be OK,
Not for me, not for anyone, but yourself.
You can’t be what everyone wants you to be, that’s not what I want, but you can’t see.
You’ve drowned in the past for way too long, you’ve been on your stage, singing that sorrow song and it can’t go on.
When you say something, you have anger in your eyes, you’ve been hurt so long, you can’t tell the truth from the lies, and so behind a smile and a bottle you hide.
You want to leave; you say you can’t stay, that it’s too hard; you are in so much pain,
People tell you the past is gone, but it’s in your head and will never be dead.
You need to hold on, just a little bit longer, there will be good and troubled times; it’s going to make you stronger.
I know you are trapped in the loneliness you feel, that no one will understand, you will never heal,
The marks down your arms that you cover with bracelets and charms, no one really knew the ongoing harm
You feel they need to let live, sick of the taking, when will something give?
You look in her blue eyes and it’s not enough, to pull you from where you are stuck
You think you are alone, you have me, you can’t push me away, by your side, I, I will stay.
You can’t bleed red and crimson anymore, you are the only one with who you are in a war, with reckless actions and words, with anger, and it’s seen and heard.
Things could be worse, but you can’t live life in reverse, you need to hold on a little longer and be strong, and you will be where you wanted, all along.
Copyright © Meg Cook | Year Posted 2017
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Meg Cook Poem
Was I a mistake? A quick fix to take her place,
I am not the prettiest, or that smart,
But I had a feeling, and went with my heart.
I didn’t want a love, gave up long ago,
Now 18 months on, you’ve let me go.
I threw it all aside, couldn’t believe when you were mine,
You were different from the rest, or so I thought,
Kept me around for your own selfish needs, I have too much pride to beg and plead,
I stood by you, and I thought you by me, but you disregarded me in a text message not meant to be,
You claim you care, I’m not so sure, my confidence and dignity are on the floor, how can you say that when I can’t have care for myself?
You put yourself to the test, to belittle me or push us aside, said it was in your head not mine,
Your heart wasn’t in it anymore, I wasn’t worth a phone call, wasn’t in your plans, now you have another in sights, I have no energy to argue or fight,
If someone like you, can do this to me, why should in love or trust I can believe,
Better to be alone and by myself, pick myself up, with life I have to move on.
Copyright © Meg Cook | Year Posted 2018
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