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Shahana Jackson Poem
Your smile, Your eyes I can't deny that I want to try something that I know I shouldn't.
I'm tempted to touch, to kiss, to go to another level with someone who doesn't even
belong to me. It's hard sometimes when I remember that feeling, I'm shy but I can be
crazy if I need to. I can't let that person escape from my soul because then I might try
to do something I will have no control over so stop looking my way. I can't control
these urges, Let alone stop thinking about what I want to do. Your making it hard for me
to walk away. Easy for me to stop pretending. It's so easy to just say I want you, It's
a physical attraction nothing more nothing less. So I close my eyes and get myself in
check. But slowly as I open them you can see temptation on my tongue rolling all over
me. I want to stop but I also want to go. Please temptation please please let me go. I
don't want to do this but then I see your face and oh I can't believe your doing this to
me. I hurry and run the other way, A street where you can't catch me. I need to survive
but i'm breathing hard, sweat dripping down my neck this is what I crave for so
temptation is lust. A sweet tasty drip of affection from someone that I shouldn't be
desiring to taste. But I want this and some how my body slaves for this, I need this.
Thus begins the chase of temptation a race I might not win.
Copyright © Shahana Jackson | Year Posted 2005
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Shahana Jackson Poem
I never wanted it to be this way, I never wanted to feel the pain. Bruises all over me.
Invisible but I can see them.
You hurt me everywhere. My heart is shattered and the blood has frozen. But I won't be
your victim.
Stare at me like this all you want. Try and hurt me with your words just as long as you
don't use fists.
I don't ever want to be your victim. I refuse to be one of those few girls who end up
losing their whole world.
Love isn't supposed to hurt, but maybe I was just naive because the moment I loved you my
heart never stopped bleeding.
I won't be your victim, I won't run away. If you have something to say I won't avoid it.
I'm not scared I can take whatever you try to throw.
Don't hold back I promise you I will not cry. The moon is shining just like all the
diamonds that you called pretend love I can't even imagine why I fell so hard.
It's never clear until the glass of water is gone. But now that you've gulped me to the
last I want you to know I won't be your victim.
I kissed vulnerability goodbye the very last time I cried over you and I won't be your
victim your not even worth it.
If you feel like you must shove a door in my butt but don't make me afraid because I
don't want to be I don't want to be your victim.
Let go of my hand so I can peacefully drive away if you want me to I can drive over you
as well. But don't make it seem like i'm causing you pain because it's obvious to see
that I've been a victim and it's a shame.
But I don't want to be it anymore then you so just let me go and I won't have to run. I
promised you forever I laugh at this now you were never eternity love in my mind.
I kept counting until the madness in ourselves would corrupt. Tears flash down my eyes
as I speed down the lanes. Two bottles of Gin and I think i'm going insane.
It wasn't until I crashed into a tree that I realized I was never your victim I was
merely your suicide mission.
Copyright © Shahana Jackson | Year Posted 2005
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Shahana Jackson Poem
What attributes are considered sexy to guys?
the face
the lips
the eyes
A lil junk in the trunk
Betty boop thighs
Suckable watermelons
Lips that are quick to spread
Accessories to blind
What ever happened
to what's behind all that?
See the person that I really am
Look into my heart
See beside what you want to do to me
in the dark
Stop reminiscing about my lips
Do U want to dive deeper into this?
And I don't mean what's between my hips
I heard your tryna bring sexy back
Well do U wanna know what's sexy to me?
Tap me on the shoulder and just ask me
Am I sexy?
Copyright © Shahana Jackson | Year Posted 2006
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Shahana Jackson Poem
There has to be another way
cause I fear staying will only break me quicker
I'll snap like a twig
therefore I'm consumed by my meds
Doctors think i'm crazy
Just cause i'm sad
A kid is supposed to be happy
Atleast that's what they keep telling me
my parents lose sleep cause I won't just pretend
Their so stuck being normal
that they never realized they made me this way
So they should stop alienating me
Cause genetics is genetics
I heard my mom was strung out on weed
before she even knew I was developing in her belly
Dad was a young Alchoholic
yet he doesn't understand why I get thirsty
Now i'm not tryna be like them so don't get me wrong
It's just that they try to cover it up like they were perfect
Cleaned their act up before I was old enough to understand
So now I take this pill
Doctors claim it will heal me
It'll destroy everything that's consuming me
Will it make my parents accept me?
Will it make them finally take some of the blame?
Will it make them tell me they love me?
I doubt it.
Copyright © Shahana Jackson | Year Posted 2006
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Shahana Jackson Poem
I remember way back when I was real young, my brother and I used to have adventures
and we wouldn't even leave the house.
Games full of hide and seek and afternoon cartoons.
We were two peas in a pod like twins at least that's how we bonded.
All the neighborhood kids loved us, were addicted to our energy.
It wasn't until we grew up a little that I started to notice the difference
between us.
I was light as day, he was dark as night.
Same father same mother just out mind sets were different.
I got treated like a white girl even though I was full of soul.
I begged for his darkness because I was naive.
To him it didn't matter.
He belonged to our family no matter the difference in color.
I would stand by him just so people would see that I was black.
Even though I knew every song, I knew how to dress, and shake just like a video
girl some of the ignorant still just couldn't except that I was one of them.
I got teased and beat because I had brown colored hair that fell down my back like
long silk.
My skin so light eye shadow wouldn't show when I put it on. I would stare in the
mirror and wish for a darker complexion.
But this was me, I lived a few blocks from the projects, a beautiful neighborhood
with lots of houses we were upper class but still knew the struggle.
A few gun shots here and there but my block was like the suburbs compared to them
mean streets that I had never crossed.
But I went to school right in the project area, you turned a corner and you were
right in the middle of it.
I've seen many fights, weed smelling bathrooms, girls bringing knives
to school, alcohol in the cafeteria milk.
I experienced it all right with them. I even had an temper that got my butt
kicked sometimes.
But it was always the same comment you can't be black, maybe Hispanic but not black.
I would always wonder why, just because I was light to me this made no sense in the
world.
But I've grown up now and it doesn't bother me anymore because I love my curves and I
know that there are different shades of black in the world.
Especially since now a dayslight skinned girls are the new trend.
Copyright © Shahana Jackson | Year Posted 2005
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Shahana Jackson Poem
There you go again doing things that you are not suppose to be in and then you look at
me like oh i'm so sweet if you only knew I can be a freak without showing it. Here they
go listening to the rumors but i'm your friend so in the end I know that they are true.
How could you do that with him and her and they were on the ground you were pretending to
pick up gum? You need to be safe, making out with strangers girl I aint no saint but god
what are you doing? I don't want to see you years from now telling me you got aids, I
worry about you and I feel like your special so I even wrote about you come on look how
much you mean to me. You like him I get it but how many other guys have you liked in the
past. He's your only, he's a phony make sure he's not just in it for the prize because
girl you never know some guys are. It's the truth and you need to listen, I don't mean to
sound bossy but soon enough your name is going to be posted on all the bathrooms walls.
Telling things that you haven't even done yet. But you will front about it, Lie again.
Telling everyone it's happened how do we know what's real or fake. I love your
personality I wish I could steal it, Your loud, and flirty, daring and smart girl you got
too much heart to be showing it to everyone who wants a sip. this is for all the nasty
girls out there who think I don't know what i'm saying just ask anyone of them who are
dead now or are on the streets prostitiuting. Don't be afraid to be a freak it's healthy
but sometimes it's better when it's secret closet freaks have more fun.
Copyright © Shahana Jackson | Year Posted 2005
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Shahana Jackson Poem
Women
They are the beign of my exsistence
But I'd gladly get cut just so one of them could kiss it
When I'm around one I stop in my tracks I get so submissive
I'd like to smoke them like some gonja weed
and if you drug tested me they'd come up in my piss
When I'm underneath one I am in instant bliss
I wanna scratch them all like lottery tickets until I find the winning pick
You know what the scariest part of all of this is?
I'm not gay. Although I do stray like all dogs go to heaven
I love the way she looks at me.
She shows me things with her eyes that the mirror has never shown me.
I receive compliments from women better than I do men.
You see because women rarely compliment.
Men will tell the ugliest girl she's beautiful just to get it in.
Some people look at me like what I'm discribing is a sin.
But I'd say it's beautiful.
We only have one chance to do it all in this world.
So why not live it the way we want to live?
I get shivers when her fingers touch my body
She's perfect for me and her touch reminds me.
Its not just sex its mentally, physically and outter body.
While I was here I thought I'd let you know about my hobby.
Women.
Copyright © Shahana Jackson | Year Posted 2011
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Shahana Jackson Poem
I'm a virgin.
Yet I'm a peer educator
I teach people about sex
and how to put on the condom.
sometimes the irony does bother me
There's an endless supply of condoms
in my custody daily yet I have no need for them
You should see the eager faces of the kids
grabbing them out of boxes like their gods best made gift
I can't share in their glory
all I can do is watch
I hate watching
I'm mostly a doer not a witness
So in this case I just feel out of place
out of context
Lost? Not exactly
Cause i'm not exactly a saint
I probably know more than the one's who are active
which makes the irony even more ridiculous.
But I guess it's just that need to be in with the crowd
The need to feel like I belong
Less and less virgin's hang around these parts
I'm starting to feel like i'm the only one left
like i'm waiting for nothing.
The condom box is calling out to me
The multiple flavors tempt me to taste.
Yet i'm still me. Therefore i'm lame.
Therefore i'm waiting...
For what i'm not even sure anymore.
I though it was because I was looking for the right guy
Maybe i'm just inept in this area.
LoL that's a laugh. My body knows I'd be a champ.
But it also listens to my head.
Maybe that's what's the problem.
Who knows?
All I know is that i'm drowning in a box of condoms.
Copyright © Shahana Jackson | Year Posted 2006
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Shahana Jackson Poem
You see my face and you see my expression but you don't know the real me that i'm
protecting.
You don't know that behind these eyes that a little girl cries every night, you
don't know the half so why are you desperately trying to label me with some brand that I
would never wear.
If you'd look a little deeper into these pearly browns you know that I am not just a
cover you have to take time to read the book to really know me.
You can't just skim the back or listen to what other people say because yeah I might
be talked about but unless you dip into the pudding you will never truly know why.
Maybe if you looked a little deeper you'd see someone trying to keep up in a endless
race.
I keep on moving but it's never any good I guess I underestimate myself or maybe I
just need someone to give me courage.
I see the surprised look on your face and all I can do is laugh, I bet you didn't
think that I had so much depth, I better you never realized.
So even if it's not me your interested in, please let me teach you one lesson. You
can see some much more behind the eyes of a girl than the cloud of makeup hiding her
face.
In a girls eyes you can see her insides, her deepest fears, her insecurities.
Behind these eyes is the magical side, and if you can look into them first then I know
that your confident and well worth the struggle.
Copyright © Shahana Jackson | Year Posted 2005
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Shahana Jackson Poem
Let this go...
I keep telling myself the same old things.
I want to feed my feelings red bull so they can finally fly away
and leave me be.
Cause red bull is suppose to give you wings. Right?
Let this go...
Leave me sane for once.
I've spent too much time drying
wet eyes from tears that shouldn't be falling.
Let this go...
I wish I could defy my heart.
Go a different direction than the one it wants to go.
Choose someone it doesn't want to know.
Let this go...
Leave temptation behind.
Occupy my mind and heart with something good.
Let situations be like they should. How they would have been.
Don't you want to escape the misery that your living in?
Let this go...
Be happy.
Be free.
Jump out the screen.
Be 3D like the movies.
Leave old habits at the door.
Leave hurt feelings on the floor.
JUST LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND.
Let this go...
It's what I tell my mind everyday.
If only my heart would listen.
It won't let it go....
Copyright © Shahana Jackson | Year Posted 2010
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