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Best Poems Written by Alanah Rae

Below are the all-time best Alanah Rae poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Alanah Rae Poem

Sleep Paralysis

Red digits glare at me
3:39 in the morning
I can’t feel my legs
My arms
I can’t move
My chest is a compressed spring, tight
It is hard to breathe
My door creaks open
No 
Footsteps on the wooden floors of my bedroom
No,not tonight. Please not tonight.
Terror fills my chest as the intruder enters my bed, sliding beneath
My blanket as if it was their own.
This is evil. I can feel it. This isn't real!
Skeletal arm around me
They are ice cold and I can’t scream
Don’t touch me Don’t touch me Don’t touch me Don’t touch me
Go away please
I want to scream,
To move
To run
Run away!
But I cannot move 
as icy breath caresses the back of my neck
Their lips are dry and
 they are skin and bone
There is no warmth
 and I feel hollow 
As the kiss is planted behind my ear
“Not today. You aren’t ready today. “ 
He. 
His voice is raspy, as hollow as he feels
 as he presses himself against my back
His ribs rub against me as he leaves, moving a hair away from my face.
I do not know his face
I do not want to know his face
What was that?
My door is shut and I try to move but still find it futile to move
I scream myself awake
For the fourth time this week

Details | Alanah Rae Poem

For Casey: He's Just a Boy

“You were born a girl! Your biology says you are!” A science teacher.
He pulls on his shirt, hiding the binder across his chest. 
“You’re such a freak. Why would you do that to yourself?” A bully. 
He stops, reaching for his once long locks of ebony hair.
“Hey, Julie!” A former friend.
ItisnotmynameItisnotmynameItisnotmyname
“Fag.” Someone he doesn’t even know. 
Tears prick his eyes, but he turns, and leaves. 
“This is who I am. I’m a boy. I’m a boy.”
“No you are not!” A father, red-faced and screaming.
“Listen to your father! Does God not make us perfectly? You were born a girl, and you are a girl!” A mother, mind reeling.
“I am your son. I love you both. I know this is confusing for you. Please, just listen.Let me explain.”
“I am done playing these games! Get in the car now. We’re taking you back to the clinic.” 
“Dad, I’m not crazy. Just listen to me! I’ve been this way for so long. I’m transgender. I’ve always felt like a boy. I am a boy. Why can’t you-”
“Shut up and get in the car Julie!”
“No! My name is not Julie! My name is Evan!”
Suddenly the world is red and black. Fire spreads into his jaw.
“Honey, leave it alone. He’s just a boy.”
His mother’s voice finally brings a smile to his face.

Details | Alanah Rae Poem

Dear Diary

A book of secrets, but I know that it may not keep them.
Pink and fuzzy once, but now worn,
Bare
Sickly
Diseased. 
Running black down paper-white cheeks,
The eyes of an eight year old girl 
Stripped of her innocence. 
Dear Diary:
I am afraid. I am afraid of having to plaster on a smile everyday. I am afraid of the words people throw at me, like stones meant to break bone and bruise flesh. 
Dear Diary:
He is back again today. Sometimes, I imagine he is nothing more than a monster from my nightmares, that one day I will wake up and it will never have happened.
Dear Diary:
They were right about me. I am nothing more than what they say. I am made of ugly words and ugly skin and ugly ugly tears. There is nothing now it seems, other than the words, and my fear.
Dear Diary:
I want to die. I am 11 years old, and I want to die. What is wrong with me?
Dear Diary:
I do not have the courage to talk to my mother. I have tried, but lately it seems like I will just be ignored, the pleading of my lips and tongue completely forgotten. I look at all these happy people, and I can’t help but to wonder if they’re lying to each other too. Just like me. 
A book of secrets, but I know I can no longer keep them.
Pink and fuzzy once, but now burned,
Flames licking
My past
As I am finally reborn after so long.

Details | Alanah Rae Poem

1, 2, 3

1, 2, 3,
“Come here and lay beside me” 
His body is warm and smells of pine. 
There are stars above us,
And no ground below.
I don’t want to fall. 

4, 5, 6,
“There is nothing here to fix”
His hands roam my scars and he is gentle and warm.
There are tears in my eyes,
And he tells me they look like diamonds.

7, 8, 9,
“I have your heart, and you have mine”
His eyes are vast forests, forever green. 
I can’t see where to go from here.

1

2

3

Breathe.

Details | Alanah Rae Poem

Ghost

“Can’t you feel it?” she asks me,
 her eyes are twinkling stars, I’m mesmerized by the galaxies painted on her lips
Mississippi sun shining down on us,
 bronze skin embellished by diamonds from the crystal waters
I can feel her touch still now, 
Her cold fingers 
on my collarbone
Her icy, dry lips
 on my cheek
Her voice
 is the song stuck in my head
Her laughter
 rings behind the wedding bells. 
“I can feel it.” My own voice is foreign, a stranger’s tone.


I am sitting alone
The inky blackness
 of my room 
wrapping me in a blanket of sorrow
I don’t think I’ll get out of bed tomorrow. 
Her arms,
cold as her heart
 wrap around me
as the sadness settles into my bones. 
And for the first time I wonder 
If it is so strange to be in love with a ghost.

Details | Alanah Rae Poem

A Bird

A bird with no wings,
I can hear her sing
As the stars come to play. 

Soprano's sweet melody that waves across 
fields and fills 
me with a fire I can't identify.
What is her song?

A girl with the happy eyes has her own demons
That claw their way out when you aren’t looking
The smile you’ve come to love has never been her real one
a voice chirps, giggles, laughs,
But the ones inside her head,
They sing and they scream.

She watches flames dance
And wishes to dance with 
Glowing embers,
Just to fly. 

She throws her arms to the sky
And screams
But all they hear is her melody. 

A bird with no wings does not sing

Details | Alanah Rae Poem

Butterfly Eyes

Have you seen the one with butterfly eyes?
The one who hides behind a smiling disguise
Who passes me by every night
As I close my eyes
They stand at the ledge
And whisper goodbye.

Have you seen the one with sunshine hair?
The one who plays that guitar everywhere
Who stands by the well and sings a tune
As cloudless eyes fade to rain
Their words they grow heavy
With unsung pain.

Have you seen the one with butterfly eyes?
The one who only seems to speak in sighs
Who looks to the sky asking it why
As they stand and watch
The butterflies die. 

Butterfly eyes
Who do you know?
Did you find that special place where the flowers always grow?
Did you grow weary of being the only color in the snow?
Butterfly eyes
Where did you go?

Details | Alanah Rae Poem

Chasing

Inky blackness swirls about
seeking to devour me
from within, 
And I am chasing.


I chase the light,
though it falters
though it fades.
This light I chase dissipates,
Flying away to a heaven I cannot reach.


My ears are left ringing, 
and I am left


chasing only shadows.

Details | Alanah Rae Poem

Advice

It seems now that 
my time is come
Palms sparking 
fires as they 
rub
Seems like I’m drowning 
in my own
 blood
Still I 
smile,
No, I don’t
 cry
Because big girls 
don’t 
cry
Momma once told me
If a man ever sees you 
cry,
He’s gonna rip you 
apart
My dear,
 it is best
You pretend you don’t even have a 
heart.