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Makenzie Mcdonald Poem
I found myself peeling back the yellow wallpaper
that once covered my bedroom walls in search of not
only a solid foundation but something I couldn't quite put my finger on. I lay awake tonight, my back vulnerable to the vacancy of my bedroom, and I pick;
scratching away the faded yellow paper that I was
ever so familiar with. I guess you can say I am
molting like a reptile, shedding my old "skin" to grow
further. I was ridding myself of who I once was to
make room for who I am yet to be. I continue to strip
away the pale yellow memory which begins to pile on
the ancient carpet that has collected not only dander
but beads from broken friendship bracelets as well
as fairy dust. As each piece effortlessly floats down from between my tobacco stained fingers, I remember the moments that led up to my exuviation and I knew that yellow wallpaper just wouldn't do any longer. The strips are coming off in larger quantities now and I'm beginning to see the original wall.The wall seems to be revealing itself as if it's shouting to me that if only I keep ripping and peeling off the skins of my bedroom, I'll find what I've been reaching for. I'm pulling off the pale yellow paper more rapidly now, begging to be told the secrets within the walls. Not much can be heard now, only my tears beginning to fall and create a small pool at my feet. Suddenly, I can't help but notice that it's no longer yellow that I see but white. White walls. And in this very moment, I knew why I stood at the base of my bed soaked in sweat and tears. I saw the white walls brighter and whiter than fallen snow. For in this moment of time I knew that I had shed the old me and gave myself permission to embrace the pure, rejuvenated, white walls before me. In this moment, like a new born child, I took a breath of fresh air and began the journey of self love.
Copyright © Makenzie Mcdonald | Year Posted 2015
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Makenzie Mcdonald Poem
Hope is what will kill you before anything else does.
Hanging on to a ship that has already sailed...
Wishing on a star that has already been wished upon..
It'll leave you with a lingering sting that will shatter your heart a thousand times over and then a thousand times again just when you thought you recovered.
Millions of broken hearts hold hands with the word, believing it'll carry them to the promise land; while others have once hoped "too hard" and have seen "too much" to have faith in anything of what the holy martyrs devote their lives to.
Learn not to wish.
Learn not to desire.
As alluring the thought of hope may be, it is just a child's game.
Just a youthful pastime.
It'll only leave you staring out the living room window waiting for his car to pull in the driveway and waiting for the phone call you'll never receive.
And when you think your heart can no longer receive further battery from any false ambitions,
It'll shock you and shatter the already broken pieces a thousand times again.
Copyright © Makenzie Mcdonald | Year Posted 2016
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Makenzie Mcdonald Poem
I'm staring at you, wanting you. I want you to crave me the way I've inevitably longed for you. Your blue eyes gleam from beneath your corse, long lashes. Stranded in the ocean I drown in from just one glance at your eyes, every bit of me quivers in desire. Desire for not just your physical being, but more for the secrets that lay between each sulcus of your brain. I need you, for I believe my heart has forgotten how to beat without the rhythm of yours next to mine. Tell me your secrets. Divulge in my passion for you and let us become.
Copyright © Makenzie Mcdonald | Year Posted 2015
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Makenzie Mcdonald Poem
You're ruining me and I'll let you because I deserve it.
I'll let you destroy me anytime.
It's the only thing that keeps me close to you anymore.
I sense you everywhere I go; although you're not dead I grieve as if you are.
I anxiously anticipate the day I smell the scent of your skin knowing that it'll through me back at least a hundred steps.
There's no moving forward this time.
I've convinced myself that I'll forever wait for you to love me again.
I'm broken.
It seems as though all my body craves now is you and sleep, and as long as this pain lasts, I know I won't get either.
How much more can I beg?
How many more tears can I cry?
How many more mornings can I bare with regret?
Everything hurts.
My body aches.
I need you.
The weather is getting warm but without you I'll shiver.
Copyright © Makenzie Mcdonald | Year Posted 2016
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