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Christine Shuster Poem
Becoming a Soldier
I stand in line
My number is up
I want to run
But it is my duty to serve
I’m only 18 but they tell me I’m a man now
I don’t even know how to wash my own clothes
But soon I will be fighting for my life and yours
I have never killed anything in my life
But now everything has changed
It is me against them
Kill or be killed
I will watch as my friends die alongside me
I will see women and children slaughtered and cities burned
I will carry these images with me for life
I am told this is my duty and my responsibility
I am hated by some and a hero by others
My only hope is to return home in one piece
For only those who have experienced war can truly understand
That war never ends
You just learn to live amongst the battleground within you
Copyright © Christine Shuster | Year Posted 2015
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Christine Shuster Poem
Only I know the emptiness inside me.
For I wear the mask of sanity not for myself but for those around me.
If only they knew how frightening it was to be me.
Living inside myself is like living inside a cage.
A cage that bears no key.
I scream but no one can hear me.
I cry but no one can see my tears.
My pain is invisible to all that know me.
I have become a master of my own emotions.
Just once I wish someone could see through me.
But the reality is that people don't want to deal with your pain.
They have their own issues to deal with.
So the next time you tell someone that you are ok.
Remember this...
That is exactly what they want to hear.
It is you and only you that can find the key and open the cage.
Do you want to live or die?
It is up to you.
I have lived inside my cage for most of my life.
But now I want to live.
I found my key and at first I was afraid to leave.
Leaving was scary but death was worse.
Occasionally I go back to my cave because it is my comfort zone.
I need that sense of security for some reason.
I am finding out that I am stronger than I thought.
There just may be a purpose for me in this thing we call life.
I don't know but I'm willing to find out.
Fear was my worst enemy and so was myself.
I can no longer let them rule my life.
For now instead of killing me they will make me stronger.
Copyright © Christine Shuster | Year Posted 2015
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Christine Shuster Poem
Survival
I lay there still.
Against my will.
Feeling the warmth of his breath.
The stench of alcohol permeating the room.
I keep my eyes closed because I cannot feel what I cannot see.
If it were only that easy.
Baby dolls, pretty dresses, ice cream I repeat in my head.
It calms the voices of insanity and dread.
1..2..3...552.
I just lay there.
Listening to the sound of silence.
Nothing.
It's over.
She survived another night.
That poor little girl.
Copyright © Christine Shuster | Year Posted 2019
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