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Carol Deason Poem
Guilty!!!
Guilt turns to anger then turns to stupidity!
If it was good nothing would be wrong!
If you had stopped he wouldn't be gone!
You are guilty! Lives are ruined!
Believe these feelings and make amends before it's too late!
Chances are slipping away like the life that is gone.
Guilty!!! -
Copyright © Carol Deason | Year Posted 2015
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Carol Deason Poem
Piles
Piles of things I need to do...
Piles of things I need to sort through,
Piles of things I'm collecting for his girls when they are older,
Piles of memories some that make me smile and some that make me cry,
Piles for his babies when they are old enough to understand them,
Memories all carefully placed in piles.
Piles of things to toss out of here sooner than never!
Piles containing the importance to his lost life,
Surrounded by my piles that mean so much yet not enough.
These piles mean your life was important!
You did exist but it's now reduced to piles!
Piles I wish you could crawl out of so I could hold you,
Piles I wish you could come out of and surprise your babies,
Piles which can give no explanation to these questions,
Questions never answered as I rearrange and move these piles
Piles of what you were and what you could have been...
Piles of things I need to do...
Copyright © Carol Deason | Year Posted 2015
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Carol Deason Poem
Grieving
I am inconsolable
I need answers
I hear music
I see rain
I want peace
I am grieving
I pretend happiness
I feel grief
I touch flowers
I worry about the afterlife
I cry out in loneliness
I am grieving
I try to help others
I long to find hope
I watch the sunset
I smile at your name
I cry for your loss
I am grieving
Copyright © Carol Deason | Year Posted 2017
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Carol Deason Poem
The guilt turns to uncertainty which leads to self-doubt,
If all was reversed and the conversation had been long,
If I had turned around and gone back maybe he wouldn't be gone!
To feel guilty pains and doesn’t help a heart to feel strong,
Dispel these feelings and bury them where they belong,
Chances all slipped away like the life that is gone.
The power of this mother’s love hoped his life would be long,
The outcome should have been different but life has gone wrong,
My son’s illness and depression won out and now he is gone.
It’s not enough to tell those who hurt to hold tight and be strong,
The battles are many and inner demons cause minds to go wrong,
Oh, hear my words and lead this heart’s guilt to be gone…
Copyright © Carol Deason | Year Posted 2017
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Carol Deason Poem
Darkness envelopes me seeping into every cell
Icy tendrils as unyielding as the moment that brought me here
Here to this place of unrelenting grief.
My breath is excised from this remnant of my former self
As I wander alone in the overwhelming expanse
Of this darkness that has become my existence.
Though the world relegates itself of I your bearer
This heart holds your memories and keeps you close
While I dream of you...until my time fades to black.
Copyright © Carol Deason | Year Posted 2017
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