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Courtney Young Poem
I can feel the anger as it rises
Rendering me helpless at times
As if the moon of darkness rises
As it has done so many times
How many times can I suppress it
And totally ignore my angel
With out lashing out and being explicit
Continuing to be in the heat of anger
I strive to be calm and collected
When all along I want to explode
To always be sen yet rejected
Feeling alone and completely cold
I want to scream and tell you
"I am who I am leave me be"
I live for me and not you
Why can't you just let it all just be
Must you harass me so
Or do you enjoy the torturing
The endless questions or things you want me to do
Why don't you spend more time listening
I tell you time after time again
I try my best to tell you
That I am finally happy again
And you are making me angry too
I want to be free
To enjoy life on my own
To totally be all of me
I want to live like the wind is blown
Untamed and wild but so free
Can I be so selfish in life
To want better for me
But it is my life
Copyright © Courtney Young | Year Posted 2005
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Courtney Young Poem
Since the first time I met you
I have been crazy about you
I don't know why or how
But all I see right now
Is that there is something there
Some sort of bond that we share
When I'm with you I feel safe and secure
When your gone your presence is allure
I feel like nothing could ever hurt me
And you care about nothing but me
Am I fooling myself to believe it is true
That we are starting something exciting and new
That this could last forever
And you wanna hold me forever and ever
I wonder at times if the choices I made
Were right or wrong and if I should have stayed
But I left and my heart to you
That must be why now that your gone I'm blue
4-20-05
Copyright © Courtney Young | Year Posted 2005
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Courtney Young Poem
I found something that was true
So now why am I so blue?
I found something that made me happy
So why am I now lonely?
Why am I crying at night
Tears overwhelming my sight
When not too very long ago
There was no tear to show?
In times such as these
No matter what anyone believes
It was something real to me
Something I thought wouldn't happen to me
Yet I fell and I fell hard
And now my heart is left scarred
It may not last forever it may be gone soon
Only time will heal my pain as I hide in my cacoon
Hoping for the day I fly once again to you
To be embraced in your arms ,just to be with you
What I wouldn't give at this moment in time
To be able to say you were once again mine
Yet I can't hold on if you are letting go
And I hope you come back some day and I hope you know
That there isn't anyone that will replace you in my heart
Since I let down my guards at our relationship's start
I have trusted you completely
And loved you humbly
Without the expectation of you loving me
The crazy thing is love comes free
You dont have buy it
or even trade for it
Love comes softly like a night mist
Too many times in life love is overlooked and missed
I don't wanna be the fool that looks back in regret
To a love I overlooked or threw away and now can't get
I don't wanna be the person who says they were never
cared for or loved because of fear
I wanna be the person you want to be with
Not the person you accidently ran adrift
Once I say "I love you"
how could I forget you?
How can I forget the words you have spoke
or the love my heart once soaked?
How can I forget making love to you?
My lips against yours, embraced by you
How could anyone forget the one person who brought
them to life and showed them the love they sought
How do I walk away and not hold hope
How am I going to cope
With a love lost , a heart broke
Copyright © Courtney Young | Year Posted 2005
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Courtney Young Poem
Sometimes I wonder back
To the school books in a stack
When I worried about education
And proper articulation
What an easy life I had then
Yet look how long ago it's been
Since I played in the sand
And still held my mom's hand
I feel myself pulling away
And beginning to go astray
I've become my own person
Or maybe it's a created diversion
I'm boggled in the mind again
How long has it been
Since I sat on a swing set?
I used to be happy with what I would get
I'm unsatisfied with myself
I truelly can't stand myself
I want to be content with me
But I can no longer see the way I used to see
My child-like eyes have turned grey
And I've forgotten how to play
Eighteen and a heart of clay
Which is molded more everyday
I am always changing faces
And taken to stranger places
Where did my playhouse go?
What is it that I am suppose to know?
An adult's world;yet I am not
I can't make anything out of what I've got
Sometimes I wonder back
To the school books in a stack
And wonder where it all went.
2-11-00
Copyright © Courtney Young | Year Posted 2005
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Courtney Young Poem
Sometimes I wonder
Is love enough?
Is it enough to keep us together
Tho we are so far apart?
I dream of the days we will be together
The promises you have made
That no matter you will love me forever
But are they all true?
Is love enough to keep us one
When we are in two places?
Have we both fallen in such deep love or just one ??
I love you completely
I have fallen in love with you
Body, mind , and soul
So why do I have to live without you ?
I feel this ache so deep
Peircing my heart and making it bleed
Like a bird shot in mid-flight
You are my heart's never-ending need
And everything I want
Fear creeps inside me
Greif rushes over my soul
Because you are not with me
Is love ever enough???
Copyright © Courtney Young | Year Posted 2005
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Courtney Young Poem
Skulls lay at my feet
Yet their blood rushes through me withevery heartbeat
Tell it isn't so
About my true love Romeo
Now, it's my turn, in the name of love
Romeo and nothing alse to be thought of
For he did not know
That my death ws only a show
It's all in hast
And nothing, but a waste
A waste of life
And a lonely wife
I shall do the same as my Romeo
Just to create another show
Skulls lay at my feet
Yet their blood runs through me with every heartbeat
Copyright © Courtney Young | Year Posted 2005
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Courtney Young Poem
Sometime I feel like I am sacrificing myself
Putting my heart on ice and laying it on a shelf
Waiting and longing to feel you close to me
Craving to feel your arms once more around me
Wanting so badly to kiss your lips once more
Starving for your attention and so much more
Desperate to hear your voice in the dark
Dreaming of long walks in the park
Moonlight kisses, romance
And one long slow dance
Yet sometimes I wonder...
Is it worth the sacrifice .. I ponder...
Copyright © Courtney Young | Year Posted 2005
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Courtney Young Poem
The words my heart says,
Yet my mouth refuses to repeat
Are as contant as the days
That I determine not to speak
As I hide the words I need to imply
I cannot bring myself to tell you
That you mean so much to me
Yet I know that you already know
I stop each tender word from my lips
I refuse to utter my heart's plea
With each touch from your fingertips
I wonder how much you love me
My soul begs to let it all go
Yet I must let my guard down
To let all my feelings flow
Even though I feel I will drown
My heart's cry to tell you
Is taken over by my pride
So I cannot convey and be true
As true as the coming tide
I drown my heart's plea with tears
Swearing never to tell you
Even though it sheers
And rips my heart in two...
Copyright © Courtney Young | Year Posted 2005
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Courtney Young Poem
The love I thought we had
The love I thought was real
When all of a sudden it turns bad
And you act like it is no big deal
I lay here, my heart in splinters
Hoping it's all a nightmare
Trying to mend my heart with sutures
And you act as if you don't care
I cry tears of forever sorrow
Glancing into the shadows
Wondering if there will be a tomorrow
Surrounded by cold lifeless statues
I grieve for a love lost
I paid a deep sacrifice
I didn't know how much love cost
Yet I worked hard to suffice
Did I waste such labor for less
Drowning in the river I weep
Alone I travel bearing this cross
Feeling a love and a sorrow so deep
I turned to what once was my heart
Bandaged a would . it cries
Listening intently for beating top start
But in silence so still it lies.
Copyright © Courtney Young | Year Posted 2005
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Courtney Young Poem
I lay my head upon his shoulder
As if in mid of a dream;
I stay in awe and wonder
If this is what it seems.
He rubs his fingers over my hands
While his fingers are laced with mine
Oh, How long I have waited to touch these hands
And now they are partly mine
He stares in my eyes so deep
And I long for it to last forever
So if I do not fall asleep
Or if I wake too soon I will lose him. Forever...
He wraps his arms around me
And I want it too to last for eternity
Because now I know he's part of me
But...Can this truelly be?
...Cause I know it all happened just like this,
But could he really love me?
Because all of this was once a dreamed bliss
And now I know he loves me
Copyright © Courtney Young | Year Posted 2005
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