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Rachel Couvillon Poem
Before her heart stops beating
Before it's too late
She has things to say
Things that just can't wait
This pain she's lived with
Has made her push people away
She thought she wasn't worth it
So they weren't allowed to stay
But before her heart stops beating
Before it's too late
She has things she must say
Things that can no longer wait
To her parents,
She's sorry she couldn't hold on
As she lays there while
Her lasts breaths are being drawn
To her family,
Everyone who showed her love
She's sorry she couldn't stay
She had too many things she couldn't get rid of
To her friends,
She's sorry, too
It wasn't their fault
They did everything they could do
To the guy she left
Waiting for an answer to his question, "Why?"
She's sorry, but she knew
It would be a hard goodbye
To anyone else
She may've left out
She promises to remember you
When she gets to the end of her route
But before her heart stopped beating
She spoke the words that could no longer wait
Even though her words would reach us
Too late
Copyright © Rachel Couvillon | Year Posted 2011
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Rachel Couvillon Poem
For those we lost
Nuzlocking Pokémon Red
This is a poem
To memorialize our dead
Rainbow
A level 4 Metapod
Caught with a single pokéball
Would grow to become
One of the best pokémon of all
Rainbow, the Butterfree
Evolved before our eyes
A valued teammate
We could never predict his demise
But in a simple trainer battle
Tackle was used by a Geodude
Rainbow had little HP
So we were screwed
A level 18 Butterfree
Was lost that fateful day
“Oh, Lord, what have I done?”
Was all his trainer could say
Kiedis
In a patch of grass
A level 16 Mankey we did find
Named after the great Kiedis
A spot on our team he was assigned
Immediately placed in the front position
Our hopes were just to high
A level 16 Rattata
Would force us to bid goodbye
Cross
He was selling Magikarps
This little old man
And we knew immediately
He’d fit in with our plans
Only a level 5
He was a trainee to be sure
But we were already imagining
Battles he could be used for
As a Gyarados, Cross caught us a Snorlax
Rosie would be her name
But we had no idea
She would be his last contribution to our game
A level 29 Electrode
Dealt a critical hit
And as Cross fainted
His trainer threw a fit
You were so young, Cross
Why did it have to be you
We could only pray
That Rosie would do
The Rest
And may we never forget
The Pokémon we lost fighting MewTwo
The ones who gave their lives
To bring the best finale to you
*For Adam Hepler*
Copyright © Rachel Couvillon | Year Posted 2012
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Rachel Couvillon Poem
Life handed me lemons
And I tried to make lemonade
But there wasn't enough sugar
For the sour taste to fade
Like a naïve child
I created my own brand
And set up on a corner
With my little lemonade stand
But my drinks were too sour
And people quickly stopped buying
So I packed up my stand
And completely stopped trying
Life handed me lemons
And lemons aren't sweet
My little lemonade stand
Just couldn't compete
Copyright © Rachel Couvillon | Year Posted 2011
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Rachel Couvillon Poem
Untitled 5
(My Uncle: Good Morning, Apocalypse Now)
My uncle doesn't speak much
about Vietnam or the stuff
he witnessed when he
was just a boy. See,
he likes to drive the back roads fast
and honk at random cars that pass.
His friendly gestures always lead to how
he grew up compared to kids now.
Jumping and racing trains on the tracks
became dodging bullets and carrying his buddy on his back.
The marshes and dirt valleys here
became the forests and trenches of the military frontier.
Last year, my sister donned his jacket
a fatigued fatigue that hung in his closet.
In color and memory darkened,
kept out of sight for fear it would harken
the PTSD he's stuggled to avoid.
He saw his brothers, young like him
to Vietnam succumb
while on American soil
and he promised he would never speak,
for fear his stomach would coil,
when remembering rice - a dish he no longer enjoys.
And there's no orange on his clothes to remind him of the agent that destroyed.
When he speaks a calm
"Good morning", I wonder if he's thinking of Vietnam
or if he knows
that I admire his strength and
bravery and how
he continually fights against
the "Apocalypse Now".
Copyright © Rachel Couvillon | Year Posted 2013
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Rachel Couvillon Poem
“Every man’s goal in life is to give birth to himself.” –Erich Fromm
Hopes turn into dreams
Dreams into ambitious schemes
Steps are taken, paths are chosen
Time marches on unfrozen
To be successful is a goal shared by many
Few are able to succeed
In this game we call life
Nothing’s ever as it seems
The path you thought you could take
Has become a mangled, tangled
Maze of confusion
Steps become measured, cautious, even
The schemes
Fail to accomplish their once hoped dreams
Copyright © Rachel Couvillon | Year Posted 2012
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Rachel Couvillon Poem
Once I was naïve and innocent
And believed that everything was Heaven sent
I was like a flower – soft and gentle
Open to the slightest breeze’s pull
I grew in unbridled sunlight
Where everything was perfect and right
But then there came the long, hard frost
And in an instant life was lost
The will to live vanished so fast
And I became nothing but a steel cast
A cast of what I once was
My wounds bandaged with metal – not gauze
I became resistant to the breeze
Nothing seemed to put my soul at ease
But I chose life over death
And continued to take in deep breaths
While no longer so easily swayed
I haven’t lost all of my old ways
I’ve learned it’s not always wise to hide
And have come to embrace both sides
Of my life and who I hope I’ll become
Without forgetting where I’m from
Copyright © Rachel Couvillon | Year Posted 2012
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Rachel Couvillon Poem
Desperate and so confused
I reached out and asked you
Is this gonna work?
Do you think it’s gonna work?
You had no answer, so unsure yourself
And I couldn’t tell you how I felt
In that moment if you asked me to
Oh, not even if you asked me to
I figured you’re the veteran,
I’d lean on you
And you could teach me what to do
But you’re jagged, edges ragged
Just like me
And you couldn’t tell me how this’d be
Everyone’s different, you said
Everyone’s different
We might not be perfect
But we’ll never know if this was worth it
Unless we take the risk and try
See if this love can survive
Oh, let’s take the risk
And try
I’ll be honest,
I’m scared
The game of love doesn’t allow time to prepare
And I’m worried that this isn’t gonna turn out fair
For you or me
After this could we truly go back to what we used to be
I don’t wanna lose you
I don’t wanna lose it all
You say we’re tight
And no matter what we’ll be alright
But I saw what happened with you and her
And I can’t help but wonder if you’re sure
I’ll try to trust and just believe
That some good might come of me and you
It’s a risk worth taking if there’s nothing to lose
If there’s nothing to lose
We might not be perfect
But we’ll never know if this was worth it
Unless we take the risk and try
See if this love can survive
Oh, let’s take the risk
And try
We might not be perfect
But we’ll never know if this was worth it
Unless we take the risk and try
See if this love can survive
Oh, let’s take the risk
And try
Copyright © Rachel Couvillon | Year Posted 2012
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Rachel Couvillon Poem
"Time keeps moving on,
Friends they turn away, Lordy
Lord
Well, I keep moving on
But I never found out why
I keep pushing so hard a
dream,
I keep trying to make it right
Through another lonely day."
—“Kozmic Blues” by Janis
Joplin
Keep moving,
you kept it moving your way
Janis
Had a dream
that your words
could become an anthem, Janis
Picked up that microphone
An extension of your body
power house
The electric cord your vocals
Cry baby
Bobby McGee
Sing to him
Cry, McGee for what you lost
What he gave up so we’d
mourn
You
made
us
feel your
ache
for the world
and your soul
Acid queen
captured
trapped in
between right and wrong
The golden squawking
of your strained voice
Haunting
pleading
lyrics
that made
you shed real
tears
and push
past your fears
breaking building
staying going
places they wouldn’t
as you grew
your
words to those on a downward
journey
yet the ones above secretly
listened
for
them
your pleads for
humanity
to love
accept
and be tolerant
when remembering a beautiful
traveling, lost, crying acid
Queen
You were a goddess,
Janis
Copyright © Rachel Couvillon | Year Posted 2013
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Rachel Couvillon Poem
Waiting for me
You always said
Was a Yellow Brick Road
But mingled in was the one made of red
And I think I took that one instead
You said there was a man
Who could help with everything
But if he was so perfect
Why didn’t he fix anything
When my life was in a spiraling downswing
I don’t believe in fairytales anymore
But I can still recount this one perfectly
And I can still remember your voice
As you promised these things carelessly
And gave me false hope for normalcy
Copyright © Rachel Couvillon | Year Posted 2012
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Rachel Couvillon Poem
I have this desire
To write and inspire.
But would the world open its ears and listen
When most of my life has already been written?
What about my life could possibly be said
To make it worthy of being read?
Sexually abused by a family friend,
These were dark times that seemed to have no end.
Raped and verbally abused,
This was a life I didn’t choose.
As a third grader I was obsessed with my mortality.
My mother had a severe hoarding tendency.
My father was physically there, but emotionally absent.
I possessed a strong fear of peer judgment.
Drugs and alcohol littered my street.
Strangers became the only people I’d meet.
I saw men bleed until their last breath.
I’ve felt the sting of a premature death.
I saw evil on a daily basis.
I became just a number in a social worker’s cases.
I feared I’d be called a liar.
It was a constant battle to keep my head held higher.
The stories of my life could fill a book,
But would anyone bother to take a look?
Copyright © Rachel Couvillon | Year Posted 2012
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