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Harley Johnston Poem
I thought I was unstoppable until i found myself being stopped
I wasn’t sure which way to go I only knew I wanted to do what’s right
I never really knew how to do it but I knew how to not do it
I fell into a place where I wasn’t treated right and I lost my sense of control
I knew I had to make things right
I hung onto everything I could as I clung to the future tight
I noticed I poured my all into this but I also noticed I had been stopped
How could I have stopped ?
I’m the one who’s to turn this generation around I just didn’t need to be stopped .
I found myself feeling stuck but only I could keep myself from being stopped
I was the only one who could let myself be stopped , how could I have let myself be stopped ?
Now I look at the woman who’s almost 25.
I remember being so lost but then I see this new woman
The woman who could never be stopped
The woman who knows a different philosophy of life
This woman would continue to pour into those around
This woman would inspire the ones who’s paid attention to her
This woman would raise children who would grow to be even better
I was a child born into disaster yet born to be greater
I’ll breath life into the ones around me so they could never be stopped
Ill show them all the ways to be unstoppable in a world where they’ll try to stop you
I’ll show them how i became unstoppable when I was stopped.
The thing about being born into disaster is the rising it comes with
I look into the mirror again and I tell her
Your finally the woman you needed
Your the mother they need
Your the woman the world needs ??
Copyright © Harley Johnston | Year Posted 2025
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Harley Johnston Poem
Soon as I feel the pain I notice my avoidance
I want something but I’m afraid I’m not sure what I’m doing
I can’t force you off my mind but I think your better off if I make myself the bad guy
Dissatisfied with my choices but I still keep going
You come across my mind again and I starting asking myself why..
When I had a touch of everything I had wanted
I just had to make myself the bad guy
I noticed I was going to hurt you if I stayed
Not intentionally but because I wasn’t grounded and still finding my way
I think about it all night and when I’m busy in the day
I hope someday I can make up for being the bad guy
That’s just something I say to ease my mind from the knowing thoughts that youl move on and find someone who will get what I desired
I wasn’t ready for you but i couldn’t hurt you
A battle I didn’t want to bring you into, I thought I had it handled
I didn’t think you’d love me but I started to believe it
Then I fell for you and I never felt so steady
How could I let that go, something il always regret , I just tell myself “it was for his better”
Crushing me cause I’d grow back cold and you were my sweater
I’d just pretend I didn’t feel it, I’d grown numb to cold weather
But that’s how I noticed you inspired me to see better
That was when i realized I could feel again
But you were right I wasn’t ready but I wanted to make amends
I didn’t fight , nor did I defend cause you were right
I didn’t want to hurt you so I pulled back as you pulled tight
I’m feeling the cold creep back in as the chills start to settle
I have a better version but she was lost in the cold weather
Growing even colder than chilling metal
Id lose you when you fell for me, and I wasn't vulnerable
In my story you’ll always be so honorable
Sometimes my mental can tell me a lie
Why did I have to make myself the bad guy
???????????????
Copyright © Harley Johnston | Year Posted 2025
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Harley Johnston Poem
We grew together in the womb, no knowledge of the world just one another
I leaned on you for protection as you looked to me for comfort and grace
And when our momma died and our dad went away
I want you to know I wished I could have taken sadness place
I’d filled you with joy and love but something in me was growing too
A darkness I still hate I fight till this day
I apologize on the days I failed you as I got lost too
I’d watch other boys watch their fathers and I’d be angry for you
I wanted to teach you those things but how can a child teach a child what they don’t know
Just know I’m so proud to be able to watch you grow
There came a day when others saw your temper grow into anger
But even on those days I saw my loving twin brother
When we were little we needed each other
I soon felt obligated to carry the role of our mother
To care for you and nurture you to show you softness when you knew none of it
But I also struggled with a sadness and anger
I just sometimes wish I could be a kid again
I remember I’d climb trees and you’d wait at the bottom
I’d get stuck and you’d say “you got it”
You put that fire in me no one could tame it
You tormented me enough but I couldn’t blame you
You also loved me and carried me through rough grass
Just so my feet wouldn’t get sand spurs you’d carry me like glass
I loved you through our rough days I’d rock and sing to you
Sometimes I wonder if you think of those days
But I know trauma works funny I couldn’t blame you if you didn’t
I know more than anything trauma rips the memories away
We play in the sun and we’d both get a burn from playing all day
I’d take care of you first not thinking of me
You were my “big brother” so you’d always be stern with me
I’d give you a fight but eventually you’d let me be
I prayed for you everyday that you wouldn’t feel how I felt
But I know we carried the same weight from the life cards we were dealt
The kind that makes you loose your inner child and you forget about it
I hope you know I’d take any pain from you and never regret it
I want you to know when I look at you I see the boy that loved me first
You’d help me with my hair when I’d hand you my brush
Sitting here now I look at the time I wished didn’t feel rushed
And on the day that came when we had our last together for everything
I sit here now thinking how things were different
But life carried and we go on but I was hoping that could change
We have new experiences and discovered our own views
But everyday I still find myself missing you
You’ll always be my twin and I know life wasn’t on our side
But I’m so proud of you to see the things you’ve done even when the world wasn’t kind
Just remember to slow down and take care of your time
I hope you know you deserve to feel loved inside
And in the days your temper got you or frustrations grow
Just remember I’m use to you and I’ll show
So even on the tough days keep that in mind cause I’ll love you even after I die
Copyright © Harley Johnston | Year Posted 2025
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Harley Johnston Poem
Iv never been.
if this is what addiction feels like than maybe I do
get it .
the need to use again after each dose , I always need
another hit .
then there’s the withdrawal the longer u go , the more
u feel like u can’t handle it .
One more I need to see you knowing you shouldn’t but
you’re feeling bad so you risk it.
Knowing the aftermath however u can’t think rationally
let alone realistic .
But here I am to say I only relate to this from love.
Cause the day you left i realized I was an addict.
Feeling afraid and running from the truth that i
predicted.
“I’m not your enemy “ is a sentence that I thought
would always be contradicted. because, in this weren’t
you my drug ? I felt close to death when we would
become distant.
Because I’m never really right when we’re not
consistent.
And isn’t that , how it feels to be addicted? Iv never
been addicted but if this is what it feels like , then
maybe I do get it .
Cause if your love was a pill ?. I’d continue to take
it , A prescription always needing a fill , if you
were my drug , would i always be a victim .
Drowning but wide awake from it .fighting but not
really able to get loose from it . So to say if this
was addiction id consider I’ve lost to it .
Nevertheless it’s a good thing this narrative isn’t
all to this. Just a poem in anthology, another chapter
in this book .
Even so , if you were my drug I’d willingly take it
and stay hooked .
Copyright © Harley Johnston | Year Posted 2025
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Harley Johnston Poem
So you like me ?
There came a day that you asked me if I liked you . And I couldn’t find it in me to answer. I mean what was it that I’m feeling ? I was hoping that’s something time will tell
U see a woman like me finds it hard to feel . After awhile the cold heart feeling becomes an easier pill. Time after time of swallowing its becoming easier to deal
A dissociation put in place to keep me from failure afraid that if I feel something it’s more likely to fall apart
I could try to explain but Id rather not
see while I was sorting that part u had taken notice of me
I watched how you spoke when you expressed, I saw how you moved with handling business, I saw how u took life in and accepted the lessons. I was seeing your observations after making decisions. After a few things realization was id taken notice of you too
And then I saw how you looked at me and I started to think … isn’t this easy ?
So you asked me , do I like you . It’s kind of becoming an easier answer, like asking if the sky is blue . Or if the grass is green . I’d ask you if the sun was hot and when u answered id say wasn’t that easy ? So when u asked me again id ask if you knew your first name . And when u answered id say see wasn’t that easy ? Id express that love is a dangerous game and it’s all in the way you play
But when u first asked me do I like you ? I couldn’t find it in me to answer. So now I’d tell you if u ask me again I’d know what to say
Id look at u and ask if you could tell night from day . And when u answered I’d reply with “wasn’t that easy “
And now I ask , do you like me ..
Copyright © Harley Johnston | Year Posted 2025
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