Harley Johnston | + Follow Poet |
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The Bad Guy

Soon as I feel the pain I notice my avoidance 
I want something but I’m afraid I’m not sure what I’m doing 
I can’t force you off my mind but I think your better off if I make myself the bad guy 
Dissatisfied with my choices but I still keep going
You come across my mind again and I starting asking myself why..
When I had a touch of everything I had wanted 

I just had to make myself the bad guy
I noticed I was going to hurt you if I stayed
Not intentionally but because I wasn’t grounded and still finding my way
I think about it all night and when I’m busy in the day
I hope someday I can make up for being the bad guy 
That’s just something I say to ease my mind from the knowing thoughts that youl move on and find someone who will get what I desired
I wasn’t ready for you but i couldn’t hurt you
A battle I didn’t want to bring you into, I thought I had it handled 
I didn’t think you’d love me but I started to believe it
Then I fell for you and I never felt so steady
How could I let that go, something il always regret , I just tell myself “it was for his better”
Crushing me cause I’d grow back cold and you were my sweater
I’d just pretend I didn’t feel it, I’d grown numb to cold weather
But that’s how I noticed you inspired me to see better
That was when i realized I could feel again
But you were right  I wasn’t ready but I wanted to make amends
I didn’t fight , nor did I defend cause you were right 
I didn’t want to hurt you so I pulled back as you pulled tight
 I’m feeling the cold creep back in as the chills start to settle
I have a better version but she was lost in the cold weather
Growing even colder than chilling metal
Id lose you when you fell for me, and I wasn't vulnerable 
In my story you’ll always be so honorable 
Sometimes my mental can tell me a lie 
Why did I have to make myself the bad guy 

???????????????

Copyright © Harley Johnston | Year Posted 2025

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Oliver Mckeithan Date: 1/20/2025 5:52:00 AM Is this a continuance of your addiction poem? Well done. The pain and anguish are brought out well. Human realtionships are always so complex. Login to Reply Harley Johnston Date: 1/20/2025 10:36:00 AM Noooo , but thanksssss for being on the lookout for that I’m working on the next part of that . Emotions and relationships are very complex it’s hard to always know what to do . Il be posting more soon and il for sure have the next part of the addiction (iv never been ) out soon