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Best Poems Written by Courtney Holladay

Below are the all-time best Courtney Holladay poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Courtney Holladay Poem

Masked Limbo

Maybe I should put my mask back on, 
Squeeze back in my mold.

I’m too loud, too colorful, too different; 
At least that's what I’m told.

I tried so hard to blend into the crowd,
Whispered when I wanted to scream out loud.

But the mask is heavy, the mold too tight,
And shrinking myself doesn't feel right.

So maybe I’ll break the mold apart,
Peel back the mask and show my heart.

Maybe I’ll be loud, and maybe I’ll shine,
Because this life, this soul, is mine.

They may call me too much, too bright, too rough,
But I’d rather be too much than not enough.

Details | Courtney Holladay Poem

All In, All Gone

I said just this once,
Just one more game.
But the more that I gave,
The more it pulled me in.

Every spin of the reel,
Every light on the wheel,
Held a promise so real,
That I couldn't feel.

I watched numbers blur,
Felt time slip away,
Betting on tomorrow,
Losing today.

In the glow of the screen,
I chased a bright lie, 
As the winnings grew thin,
And the losses ran high.

I told myself "quit,"
But the pull was too strong,
The hope of a win,
Dragged me along.

Now I'm tangled in regret,
A web I can't break,
A jackpot of losses,
And more than just stakes.

If I could turn back,
If I could rewind,
I'd trade every chance,
To find peace of mind.

Details | Courtney Holladay Poem

Until Then

The birds will sing when I wake,
The crowd will clap, the ground will quake. 
I’ll be heard, I’ll be seen, 
Touching the hearts of the unseen.
I’ll reach the stars, I’ll reach the moon, 
Leaving echoes in every room.
My words will ripple through the air,
A spark of hope, a whispered prayer.
I’ll build bridges where others fall,
I’ll light fires, like it’s my true call.
I’ll change the world, prove them wrong. 
Show them broken still means strong. 
Until then, I type away.
Alone in this dark place, I stay.
I’ll share my heart, but hide my face, 
Wrapped in silence and disgrace.
I’ll lose my mind, I’ll go insane, 
Chasing words, to ease the pain. 
Until then, I’ll step aside,
Watch the world pass me by.
I’ll wake this world, make them see, 
Until then, I’ll let them sleep.

9/29/2024

Details | Courtney Holladay Poem

Too Much For You

I’m done trying to change the minds
Of those who refuse to see,
Pouring out my heart like water
Into cups that aren’t meant for me.

I’ve explained myself a thousand times,
Shaped my words to fit their ears,
But they’ve built walls around their hearts,
And my voice just disappears.

I thought I owed them understanding,
That if I shared just one more piece,
They’d see the person I truly am,
Their doubts seemed to increase.

I used to reshape, try to make them see,
They’ve built up their walls, 
They won’t bend for me.

Now, I’m learning to walk away,
From battles that aren’t mine to fight.
I’m tired, but I can finally see the light.

I’ll spend my time with those who listen,
Who see the cracks, yet let me glisten.
And I’ll let go of those who never tried—
They’ve taught me where my peace resides.

No more shrinking to fit their boxes,
No more forcing you to see.
If I am too much for you,
Then we just weren’t meant to be.

Details | Courtney Holladay Poem

Demon Feeder

I thought my demons were almost defeated,
But you took their side, and told them my secrets.
Whispered my fears, my doubts, my shame,
Fed them the lies that carry my name.
I thought you would shelter me from the night,
Be my shield when darkness stole my light.
But you opened the doors I fought to close,
And handed them truths that nobody knows.
Now they grow louder, clawing inside,
With your words as weapons, nowhere to hide.
I face them alone, though you stand near,
A stranger now, silence is all I hear.
I trusted your hands to help me heal, 
But you wanted pain to be what I feel.
Where once was someone I thought had cared,
Is a ghost of a friend, and an empty chair.

Details | Courtney Holladay Poem

The Heart of Every Story

Every story has a heart, a pulse that beats within.
A whisper of the truth that lies beneath the skin.
Every song has a soul, a mysterious masterpiece,
A vibrant sound, waiting for its release.
Every dream paints a canvas, of colors bright and bold.
Unfolding it’s magic, a wonder to behold.
Every laugh brings a spark; igniting joy and cheer.
A melody of moments that we hold so near.
Every journey has a rhythm, a path we carve with grace.
In every step we take, we find our rightful place.
So let us share our stories, let us be seen to the core.
For every heart that listens, will always ask for more.

Details | Courtney Holladay Poem

Masked Limbo

Maybe I should put my mask back on, squeeze back in my mold.

I’m too loud, too colorful, too different; at least that's what I’m told.

I tried so hard to blend into the crowd,
Whispered when I wanted to scream out loud.

But the mask is heavy, the mold too tight,
And shrinking myself doesn't feel quite right.

So maybe I’ll break the mold apart,
Peel back the mask and show my heart.

Maybe I’ll be loud, and maybe I’ll shine,
Because this life, this soul, is mine.

They may call me too much, too bright, too rough,
But I’d rather be too much than not enough.

Details | Courtney Holladay Poem

The Cost of Holding On

Don’t be the first to reach out this time.
Don’t stop them from falling on their own knife.

No more chasing shadows, no more pleas.
Let the distance grow, and just breathe.

Echoes of love feel like a ghost,
But holding on tight may cost me the most.

Stand still in my space, let the world spin,
Trust that in time, they’ll find their way in.

Connections that matter will find their own way.
I’ll find my strength in the quiet today.

So exist, just exist, and embrace the unknown.
Sometimes being alone leads you back home.

Details | Courtney Holladay Poem

New Eyes

I woke up today, with new eyes,
I watched the sun slowly rise.
I watched the sun kiss the grass, 
Whispered I’m me at last.

I went inside, I hugged my kids, 
They hugged me back with giant grins.

I feel different, accepted in a way.
Not by you, that's okay.
Embracing myself today.

I understand my weird little quirks,
I’m starting to see how my brain works.

I’m embracing the oddness, releasing the pain. 
Those years in school, I spent racking my brain. 

I felt like a puzzle always 1 piece not there, I felt like a cake without icing, so bare. 

I never understood my true ability,
I never uncovered who I was meant to be. 

“Her clothes line is broken”, repeats in my head. 
She's challenged, she's different, put her in special Ed.

I’m worthless, I can’t, I used to say.
I’m stupid, I’m dumb, words I lived by every day. 

Sarcasm, and jokes aren’t easy for me.
I take everything literal, literally.

I woke up today and realized,
I have hope and fire in my eyes.
I don’t feel like a pearl lost at sea,
I finally found me, who I’m mean’t to be. 

Removing the veil, shedding the mask,
No longer hiding inside the past. 

Those days of confusion, feeling so dumb,
Are all in the past, I’m autistic 1.