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Monya Williams Poem
You see, you see I’m captured within my pain I’m 13
13 only 13
13 years old when my soul died
13, eight months later when my spirit died
13, 13 is all I’ve cried
Within a year I watched myself die twice
First cancer killed my aunt later a disease took my mother’s life,
13 years yet I haven’t grieved
Suppressed my feeling for 13 years so it wouldn’t bother me
Is it true you can die three times yet you live?
19 years old my grandmother died the last I had to give
Holes created in my heart as if I was shot by a bullet
Life threw me a curve ball unavoidable hit by it,
Beat on constantly…
Like African drums not physically
Living in an emotional slum….
Using love to ease the aches
Desperately seeking a soul mate
Loving liars, cheaters, and thieves
Not caring wanting that of someone loving me,
Causing friction, tension and despair
Pushing life away for I can no longer bare
13 years of pain and suffering
No one to blame as I did it to me
How can I let go without feeling alone?
It’s so hard so I continue to hold on
Years of allowing my past to control me,
I only had my past to comfort and depend
Losing my family so early in life is hard to make amend
Lovers and friends come and go
Those who stuck around why they did I don’t know,
Days I’ve spent alone crying in silence
Seeing, feeling, living not understanding it
13 years of suppression now I’ll try to let go
Before my emotional bondage cause me to lose the one I love so,
Isolated from my mate, daily surroundings
Standing in a room full of people only seeing me
13 years I’ve prayed the prayer to open and release
So I can step into anew, pain will decease
Buying into another to hold my hand
Independent all these years lost in where I stand
Using another to ease what is in me backfiring
One application after another constantly hiring,
Father, I need new management
So I can celebrate the life of, death kept me bent
13, 13 years something about 13
If this is the only way to move on then I’ll have to grieve
13, 13 years living in bondage and misery
13 years and 13 years old dying inside me
Tell me what is it about 13
After 13 years I now need my peace
13 years sweat hid my tears
Living without you lost in the years
Seeds I no longer sow
For my flowers ceased to grow
Dying in the end like you
Enough pain I’ve had to endure
Choking in smoke but not none of a cigarette
13 years of disappointments and regrets
From living without you
Until my last days the statement remains true.
13.
Copyright © Monya Williams | Year Posted 2013
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Monya Williams Poem
As I sit with spring
pollen breezes by
kissing the mountain top
Copyright © Monya Williams | Year Posted 2010
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Monya Williams Poem
As the bench looks up to the trees
holding on to winters chill
the girl covers her feet
Copyright © Monya Williams | Year Posted 2010
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Monya Williams Poem
If it’s wrong for me to love you, let me be wrong
The desires of my heart are for you and for you I long
I shall never take you for granted a long time I have waited
For a chance at an everlasting romance and how I contemplated
It’s like looking in your eyes and feeling every thing you feel
Not counterfeit or synthetic feelings that is ever so real
If I could I would hold you in my arms all day and all night
Enjoying the warmth of your laughter and smile bright as the sun light
As romantic as the moon gazing off the ocean waters at night
Melting in the pot of love and forming in the natures of grace
Cares and concerns in abundance of this eccentric place
Even in death we shall never part for our love is deep within the heart
Embellish by the character of the comfort of your touch how I love it so much
Afraid not to emote no matter how much people envy the beauty of our love
Authentic and unique as a jazz instrumental
This love will flourish and become like the twin towers monumental
Ungodly is not an option for god is who brought me you
For this I owe all my happiness and to you I give my all in all I do
Complaisance your every need the air you breathe I breathe
Knowing as long as your here I won’t be breathless
Hunger and thirst for you I must confess
Letting you know from the first time we kissed my mind was set
No one can change my mind I don’t care what he or she says for you I won’t regret
An angel without the wing yet instill so heavenly
Finally to find the last piece to complete me
Deep inside of me where thy love holds truth.
Copyright © Monya Williams | Year Posted 2010
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Monya Williams Poem
Tears form in my eyes revealing my life the past and present,
questioning myself where lies my future not knowing what’s meant,
scolding myself trapped from the ways of my health,
praying for deliverance yes and a little wealth,
do I really want to point the blame,
or is it I'm held restrained,
mother father look what you’ve done to me,
a punishment for the torn love between you and he,
in my heart I know no ones at fault,
building a stronger foundation in my heart a new path I will walk,
my mind will be the only thing that makes my heart sing,
years I've stayed strong for physically enduring the pain of sustained,
rearranged from what my dreams were first made of,
eyes finally opened to that in which I embrace with a hug,
realisms I thought might have never to be me,
subjected to this life of a harsh reality,
reality I'm afraid of you,
maybe its the things I know I have to go through,
mind, heart, body and soul constricted from what lies deep within me,
a loner always to be left alone it shouldn’t be,
nonentity true life of reality has become my enemy,
a hasten awakening belly aching from real truth,
purity shot at me like bullets opened to death vest not bullet proof,
life for me has been rambunctious,
aching back breaking wishing through it all I would have been unconscious,
memories raiding my mind letting me know I'm no better than this,
as controversy of pain and love swim in my physical and mental no bliss,
through it all I've become a phenomenon strong and tall,
later to endure as a memory as I made it through it all.
Copyright © Monya Williams | Year Posted 2010
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Monya Williams Poem
Looking out my window as the rain brings turmoil and pain,
Destruction becomes a distraction a mere fraction of our reaction,
Life’s not being what it use to be,
Love not bringing what it had brought to me,
Will god forgive the thoughts, the doings or the intentions of man?
Always hoping and praying all the while having to pretend,
Embracing daily thoughts of what could be,
Looking dead in the face of reality,
How can I judge or even question when I don’t truly know my own destination,
Who and what lies in the presence of my future,
Thinking to myself just be true to her,
Enjoy happy times while they last,
Focus on the present, future; forget about the past,
Picturing in my mind of a union intertwined,
As the heart begins to smile of the thoughts of you and I,
Walking through the halls of my mind,
Leading to the soul and spirit that combines,
Presence as warm and gentle as the petals of a rose,
Truth of the matter for only you know,
Joy brought upon the heart in an abundance of laughter,
Tears fall from the eye as happiness springs there after,
The touch of an angel soft and heavenly,
In only a way you can give to me,
Not caught up by ways untrue,
For we know what each other do,
Distant yet close to the heart,
Close yet miles apart,
Waiting to cuddle with just the thought of you,
For sexually will not be the only way I want you,
Listening to your voice brings harmony to my life,
Realizing everything will be all right.
Copyright © Monya Williams | Year Posted 2010
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